Grandchikdren

or children....grandchildren

Dear child.....Dear Grandchild

What’s DC and DGC. ?

Unfortunately, it all sounds very normal. I was really close to my granny...but probably needed prompting to think of her as I got older. You don’t say how old they are, but I imagine they’re branching out doing all the exciting things we did as we went into teens perhaps. Don’t read too much into it. It’s the same with our children isn’t it? You’re hopefully close when they’re little, you enjoy every minute. Then there’s a gap, where they just think of themselves. Then hopefully...they’ll return, and you’ll be close again. Just be pleased you were close when they were young. Some grandparents never have that.

In my family we traditionally gave gifts until children reached 21. After that I only received a gift from parents and my brother within the family. We were never expected to buy gifts for grandparents but after I left university and was working I started to get small gifts for my grandparents at Christmas. I don't think I even knew when their birthdays were until the significant ones came round and there were big celebrations when they reached 80.
I think every family has their own traditions and it needs to be encouraged by parents if GC are to recognise GPs birthdays. Mine didn't so although I chose to buy at Christmas I know my brother didn't. Incidentally my brother has dropped pretty much all family gifts over the years and I now only get a card from him at birthday and Christmas! My ex H found it very odd as his family were much bigger present givers and we continued to get gifts from his Aunts and Uncles after we were married whereas my wider family didn't buy anything for us as the age 21 rule applied!
I'm sure your GC don't mean to be hurtful, just perhaps a bit thoughtless. I'm glad my adult children keep in touch with their only remaining GP though they don't see her often as they live a long way away.

What’s DC ?

Invite them for tea! But if sheilding send a note saying you love them and would like to know how they are all getting on.

I always remind my two when birthdays are approaching so they've no excuse for forgetting. We don't see family much as they're all far away. Mine don't send presents I don't think but I told family not to send presents/money to them anymore once they passed 21.

I don't receive cards from GC unless they manage to slip in a little folded paper with a drawing on it. The adults do include the names of GC on their card. Cards can be found relatively cheaply but the postage is horrendous. Teenage GC would I imagine just not be into cards, email more their style.

I think that, as you get older this is par for the course. My ever loving (not) brother announced that they were only buying for the children. By that he meant his kids (who were late 30s and their kids). His wife continued to buy for her mother. So basically it was only his mother who was missing out. True to his word he didn’t buy anything for his mother for 6 years until the day she died (even on her 90th). Despite financially supporting my nephew and niece I don’t get cards from them (mind you one was pretty quick to tell me last Christmas that the money for their boys hadn’t arrived. Boys I haven’t seen for 5 years, the youngest was a babe in arms so quite why he should expect money from me is anyone’s guess). But that’s family, I have excellent caring friends so I don’t worry any more.

No excuse for it I am afraid .Selfish

I find I get more birthday messages on social media sites from family and friends. If I want to keep up with them I have had to use more of their mediums than I otherwise would. Find it quite fun but also how it easily becomes time consuming. However, I must say I still prefer to receive cards that I can look at for a few days.
Still receive presents in one way or another - this year I had hanging baskets made up by my daughter. My GD helped in my large garden. I had an afteroon tea with a friend, keeping our distance, and have had home made jam and pickles. Just to be remembered is fantastic and I do realise the older you get the more difficult it is to know what to buy that is useful.
Happy birthday to anyone whose birthday it is today.

My DS does not send me cards even on Mother's day and I know it really hurts. I tell him every time but he laughs it off ?

Sadly this is quite common I think, I know once they find their wings lots of things go out of the window, but it would be great if their parents remembered and reminded them, a card at least

Oh Sparkling I’m so sad to hear that

I love my Nanna dearly I see her at least once a week but normally more and speak to her on the phone several times a week I love treating my Nanna on days when it’s not even her birthday I always take her flowers or treat her to her hair done or treat her to some dinner. For her birthdays I always love spoiling her there’s been times in the past when I haven’t had much money but I’d still buy her something you can pick flowers of up for £5

I am a newborn intensive care nurse and also foster so I have a very busy life but I would never not make time for my Nanna so find it sad that other posters think once you grow up you just don’t have time anymore

You sound such a lovely lady too. They’ll regret not spending time with you once they’re no longer able to hope they realise before then ?

Yes, as others say, it is a natural progression when GC become teenagers and find their wings. I still get texts and phone calls but just not daily now. As for birthdays, my 2 girls, I now go away with instead of gifts, last year it was a long weekend in Paris and we were supposed to be in Venice this year. The 3 boys are younger and it was a hotel in Bournemouth, swimming pool etc. If we couldn’t go away I’d take them out to dinner somewhere or a show in London. If you can’t get out, invite them round and do a nice meal. Also, if they do not send you a birthday card there is nothing wrong with gently mentioning this, as most teenagers just presume their parents will send cards and put their names on them.

I agree. How old are they?

So sorry to hear that but it seems to be what happens when grandchildren get older they do not think much about their grandparents because it would normally have been their mother who had bought the cards and presents and not encouraging their children to do it themselves.
I always encouraged my children to keep in contact with their grandmother who they seldom saw but we all always rang her on her birthday and I still used to buy cards for them to send.

The giving of cards particularly doesn't seem to happen with the younger generation many wouldn't think of Chr...........either. It is upsetting but another symptom of everything being online.

that is the way of life, sad to say

life changes, priorities change

all we can do is send out love,,, and hope the Universe sends us some back

deep sighs....

different people,, I am trying very hard to NOT say I can feelhurt that my grown boys, both married don`t contact me more often....

no point, life changes, people change,,,

love sent winging to you

no love smiley down there,,, sorry,,,

It hurts when you have given so much love and care and you feel rejected. If your grandchildren are so thoughtless, I wonder why their parents don’t remind them?
Don’t be hurt in silence. Let them know how you feel, they probably don’t even realise.
Sometimes younger people are so wrapped up in their lives they forget.

It's why we need to make the most of them when they're little. They get to a stage where they don't really even spend a lot of time with parents, never mind grandparents. It's natural, but sad.

One minute, you're so important to them, the next, they barely remember you. Life can be hard.

It is hurtful I agree sparkling I found this was a stage they went through then as they got older they became more thoughtful.

I wouldn't perhaps expect grandchildren to remember birthday dates but I would have expected your adult children ( their parents) to give them a reminder. Especially for a grand parent.
Very hurtful for you I agree.

I was always close to my gran and phoned and called every week. I noticed at the weekend that my eldest gs went off without a hug or goodbye and realised he had ignored me all afternoon! He did the same with other gran who was with us too.