A woman neighbour who rang me about a friendly but impersonal business matter described in detail a lovely holiday place she owns, although I had not asked her to tell me about it, and it had nothing to do with the business matter. I think this is bragging. Why would anyone brag to me? I don't brag about material possessions and I own very little, so why would she do this?
I am disappointed in her as I'd always thought she had really good manners.
I wondered too whether this neighbour was just trying to make conversation? If she owns the place then maybe she could offer it to you, free, for a holiday? You could always ask..... I think we should start writing our round robins now ready for Christmas varian Do you remember the late Simon Hoggart who had a column in the Guardian?. Readers sent him their ott Xmas letters and he eventually wrote books based on them. Chapter headings included: DIY holidays, children and jobs. They were very funny. One of his books was titled "The cat that could open the fridge" and "the hamster that loved puccini"
I don't think she was necessarily boasting, and if she was, it's not such a sin. Maybe she thought that by telling you something pleasurable about her life you might get to know more about each other and become friends. She might have been looking for a way to engage you in more than just impersonal business conversation.
I've had the opposite: someone with far more money than I could ever imagine talking themselves down in conversation with me. That can seem a bit patronising.
In these harsh economic times people should keep quiet if they are living a very prosperous life as it is just rubbing it in for other people who may be unemployed, lost their home, or furloughed. I would have been very annoyed. When I was unemployed my sister once told me about her new car, and that she had gone on 5 holidays that year!! Grossly insensitive. Yes she was just boasting and I bet you couldn't get away fast enough! If you are having a rough time it is impossible to rejoice in other's good fortune
Good lord. I’ve just asked our butler if he resents my telling him about the new holiday mansion, his reply ‘No Madam, not at all, it’s just nice to see a smile on your miserable face’
Hi Alexa. Maybe this lady was just trying to make conversation? I would let it go in one ear and out the other as one respondent suggested. It is also possible that this lady was trying to advertise it though - my late mother often used to think of such situations as slight ulterior motives but I would have dismissed this vehemently to my mother. Now i’m a bit older, and i’m a little less naive, I sometimes find that people will mention things in a way that may come across as subtle, but they’re really trying to make you aware of something. I wouldn’t let it bother you though, Alexa. Let it wash over you if you can.
Some people are very open about what they have, what they do or what their children have achieved. Others let you know also but in a more subtle way by just dropping a snippet into a conversation. I much prefer it when people are upfront about their possessions/achievements/children etc because then you can acknowledge it straight away and then move on
Why can't we just be pleased for those who have something that brings pleasure into their lives, instead of all the negativity and resentment? crikey, yes. Where do we draw the line? Not mention cutting the lawn in case someone lives in a poky flat? I agree that some people brag, but really that says more about them than about the listener, why can't people just be happy for someone's excitement or happiness that they are sharing? Lighten up
I would have listened like any other conversation, it might have been a bit random, but I would have felt pleased for her, to be honest it just goes over the top of my head if someone is boasting , I just smile to myself
Maybe when she mentioned it if you had said something along the lines of sounds lovely etc. She may have invited you. Maybe even though she is loaded and married she maybe very lonely and looking for a friend to spend time with.....or she may have been bragging without realising what she is doing.
Varian... my brother sends a pic of himself and his family from their skiing chalet each Christmas. Would it be rude to send a pic back of me snorting white powder whilst being seen to from behind by an exotic male dancer?
You should! He's proud of his chalet. You're proud of your exciting life.
Personally, I have no time for people that brag and boast about their wealth, property, qualification, fabulous family, amazing car, second home..............!
My old Dad used to say " hark at 'em, they might have a gold plated toilet but their s**t smells as bad as anyone else's"!
We all came into the world with nothing and we will leave in the same way.
Jenpax, I was reared with that principle too. I do hope if there is a trend for boasting it is not a sign decent people don't bother about manners any more.
As well as a colleague she's a neighbour so maybe just having a chat. If you wanted to end the conversation surely you just needed to say you were waiting on another urgent call and would have to go. I think lots of people boast - I'm sure I do
I always try to be careful when talking to friends and colleagues, to be mindful of their situation. I think it’s just kind; boasting may be subjective? But in sharing your own good fortune you might be making someone else aware of their own lack! I am never bored when someone tells me of their lives good or bad but I respect more the person who shares both not just show casing the good stuff. I was bought up to believe that discussing money and possessions was bad manners and I try to keep this in mind.