It is ongoing here in Brussels, almost the first thing you are asked on meeting is 'what do you do, which department are you in, or what does your Husband do'.
When I say I am a divorced Chef I am either blanked or get 'Niiice' in a sarky way.
I often try to put the conversation back round to them and ask which University they attended, quite often none. They seem to think sitting in an office all day makes them better than others.
I then get a bit smarmy and list my degrees.
I know it is petty but after 25 years it is a bit wearing.
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Should I be offended?
(115 Posts)I live in a small street where one side are rather expensive houses and my side which are flats. We have lived here and raised our children for over 22 years. Two or three of our neighbours are very friendly whilst the others completely ignore us. Their children were privately educated while our were not. The point of my post is that twice we were approached by 2 neighbours asking if we wanted to buy their old cars. One whose father had recently died! When we refused they said ‘ It wasn’t a very good car anyway!’ I was furious! It was obviously good enough for us! They also tried to sell us an old bike when they were clearing out their shed. My DH is a mountain biker, owns 3 expensive bikes and tried to say no. They said ‘just take it as we want rid of it’ They insisted and we eventually said we’d give it to a friend. A few months later our neighbour came over and asked why we hadn’t paid him for the bike! Another neighbour recently trained in the same profession as myself and I met her at an event. I tried to speak to her but she blanked me. Why do people who think they have more money than others behave like we are trash. My DH has a doctorate but it’s not known in our street. Both my children and I have degrees and have good careers. Would that change their opinion? Or is it all about the money?
I live in a very expensive area, in a large detached house in large grounds etc.... My neighbours are professional people, hospital consultants, lawyers, MDs etc but are down to earth, friendly, helpful and shop at Lidl. The weekly foodbank collection is really well supported and we help each other. Previously I lived on an estate, much smaller houses, bigger flashier cars and unbelievable boasting. If you have it perhaps you don’t need to flaunt it.
Lindy, I think you need to be more vocal, next time ask the bike owner why you would want his old junk when you have 3 bikes in perfect condition. Tell him to clear off and take his bloody junk with him.
Life's too short to take offence! Can you accidentally on purpose arrange for a friend to send a letter to the wrong address? i.e. to Dr ..... ........... See what effect it has?
I wouldn't worry about it too much, snobs everywhere!
I would, however "arrange " for a letter with your husband's title on to be "accidentally" be delivered to one of their addresses - just to see how their attitude changes!!
Tell them to get on their old bike and go.
What horrible people. Yes I'd be offended, but try not to let it bother you. They aren't the sort of people that would be nice to know, even if they suddenly decided that you were 'good enough' for them. You are obviously much too good for the likes of them.
It doesn't matter how much wealth you have underneath we are all the same. No one has the right to look down their noses at any one. If they are selling belongings it obviously shows they need the money and are far from being rich. If you see them coming walk away, they will eventually get the message. I have mega rich friends and I am treated no different, some times people who act like this feel they need to to make them feel better. You know better and are comfortable.
My neighbour across the road gave us a bike for our grandson.
Her house is smaller than our house.
Really don't think we can generalise about people acting well or badly just because they haven't/ have got money, own big or small houses - just the vagaries of the human condition. Am sure we've all met snobbery and inverted snobbery in person and in the written word. ( yes, even on Gransnet)
People are doing others an enormous favour accepting their old stuff or stuff they have upgraded. Charity shops kindly accept such goods making the giver feel good. So just apologise for not helping them out and advise on a charity shop.
I don’t think there is any virtue buying new if you want something, and it is available passed on, that is good for everyone especially the planet.
So no don’t be offended in principle but only you will know if you feel you are being slighted.
I can’t imagine offering my cast offs to anyone other than those I know very well for a reason, finding charity shops much more convenient and eager for good contributions.
Neighbourhood forums are great too, I’m often surprised how many people gratefully take up the offers in exchange for the effort of picking them up and removing them.
I thought the patronising notion of the privileged visiting the less- privileged with goodies died out centuries ago.
Cambria, good comeback. Vegansrock, you are being kind.
One of the nicest things about being older is that I couldn't give a spoon of slime what people think of me. The problem is yours, not theirs. You clearly feel inferior because you live on the cheap side of the street, otherwise you wouldn't be telling us about your educational attainments. Your neighbours are clearly the nouveau riche because they don't know how to behave. As another person said, those born with money don't treat others that way. If they approach you again, just look them up and down and ask them what on earth makes them think you want or need their cast offs.
I live in a very small cul de sac in the middle of Brighton, there are only 2 buildings in this road, the buildings are very close together you can just get an ambulance or dustbin lorry between them. my building on the right is 29 rented flats for the elderly, the building opposite is leasehold, still flats for the elderly owned by the same H A. we have 2 men in there that completely blank us, if you pass them and say 'good morning' they do not reply, there was one man who lived there who used to tell others 'do not speak to them, they are council scum'. nice people. i think our building is better than theirs as we had half million spent on a refurb last year, any improvements they do they have to pay for.
These posts make me wonder whether I've ever offended people by offering them stuff. Definitely NOT that I've ever looked down on anybody concerned in any way, just thinking how sensitive some people might be. Also definitely not Madam Bountiful.
It amazes me how easily some people take offence. I don’t really come across it in real life, but it is rife on discussion sites like this one. It must make life very difficult. None of the things mentioned would bother me in the slightest.
I have been known to say do I look like the type of person who would use that that said with raised eyebrows.
My grandmother used to say “not used to anything” about people like that. I took me a long time to realise what she meant.
I can remember two friends in particular who, if you went by their choice of dress or type of car or holiday, you would never guess they were extremely wealthy. They were just so down to earth and never tried to be better than anyone else. I think it is the 'nouveaux riche' who have that attitude.
You sound like your falling into caring what they think. Why would you bother.
Money can't buy class, but don't let other people's ill-breeding dictate your behaviour? I hope you didn't pay for the bike by the way! Cheek.
Next time they try to sell you something cheap, smile and say oh dear are you struggling for money, I am sorry!
Otherwise ignore them..doesn’t matter whatever people think about you so long as you are happy. You don’t need to justify yourselves to anyone or compete. It is definitely a lack of self confidence in their part if they need to show off.
It's really maddening but you lose nothing by making sure you don't bother with them again.
They sound weird, I think I’d have said the same thing as lady muck said, if we need anything we buy new, I would have tackled him on the comment well it wasn’t a good car anyway though, I’d have said so what gives you the impression that I would want it, off you go now
I think it's mostly insecurity which makes people behave like this. The nouveau riche perhaps feel ashamed of their humble beginnings - and possibly that they'll get 'found out' and kicked back down again. All very silly.
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