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Should I be offended?

(114 Posts)
LindyR Tue 28-Jul-20 15:46:34

I live in a small street where one side are rather expensive houses and my side which are flats. We have lived here and raised our children for over 22 years. Two or three of our neighbours are very friendly whilst the others completely ignore us. Their children were privately educated while our were not. The point of my post is that twice we were approached by 2 neighbours asking if we wanted to buy their old cars. One whose father had recently died! When we refused they said ‘ It wasn’t a very good car anyway!’ I was furious! It was obviously good enough for us! They also tried to sell us an old bike when they were clearing out their shed. My DH is a mountain biker, owns 3 expensive bikes and tried to say no. They said ‘just take it as we want rid of it’ They insisted and we eventually said we’d give it to a friend. A few months later our neighbour came over and asked why we hadn’t paid him for the bike! Another neighbour recently trained in the same profession as myself and I met her at an event. I tried to speak to her but she blanked me. Why do people who think they have more money than others behave like we are trash. My DH has a doctorate but it’s not known in our street. Both my children and I have degrees and have good careers. Would that change their opinion? Or is it all about the money?

Orangerose Tue 28-Jul-20 15:53:02

God knows. I have no idea why people behave as they do. Tell them to get stuffed the next time they call on you.

quizqueen Tue 28-Jul-20 15:54:11

You should have refused the bike and dumped it back in their garden/outside their door. You should have also made a comment about the car. Why don't you start offering them your tat for a laugh!!

Evie64 Tue 28-Jul-20 15:55:42

That's awful Lindy R. What a sad pathetic bunch of snobs!
Do live in Belgravia for goodness sake? Such a shame you can't "drop in" how well educated, successful and content you and your family are and then refuse to speak to any of them. Bizarre behaviour shock.

Madgran77 Tue 28-Jul-20 16:52:35

Their problem really. Who cares what they think of you as long as you are happy!

My dad was a very very intelligent clever man with all sorts of letters after his name. He was also incredibly humble and a very quiet person. It used to drive my mum mad when people used to patronize him, ignore him, start pontificating and he would quietly let them! Until he taught her that it made no difference to him atall, and that if it made those people feel better about themselves that was fine with him!

Amazing I don't quite always manage to follow but "valiantly" attempt to!!grin

AGAA4 Tue 28-Jul-20 17:06:02

With some people having more money than others makes them feel superior.

I don't think a person's 'worth' has anything to do with money.

If they lost all their money would they then feel inferior. They probably would if that is the way they think. Sad people.

vampirequeen Tue 28-Jul-20 22:04:16

I know people who have always had money, those who have by luck or judgement earned good money and those who have never had anything. In my experience those who have always had money and those who have never had money are lovely but many of those who have 'moved up in the world' (their words not mine) look down on the less well off. You often see it on campsites. An always rich family camped in a pair of very old but serviceable tents, we camped in our Reliant Rialto camper and some people were in very expensive motor homes. We got on really well with the always rich but the nouveau riche didn't want to know us. They ignored the always rich too until they found out that they weren't poor. Then they were all over them like a rash. The always rich weren't having any of it so then were called snobs.

Sorry. I know this a wild generalisation. It's just my experience.

welbeck Tue 28-Jul-20 22:39:48

life is short.
why don't you tell them what you think, if they accost you again.
but basically, it's their problem, not yours. ignore.

annep1 Tue 28-Jul-20 23:17:51

They sound like idiots. You should have refused the bicycle.

BradfordLass73 Wed 29-Jul-20 04:02:58

What puzzles me is why you bother with and are worried by trash like this?
You are clearly a far better person.

PamelaJ1 Wed 29-Jul-20 05:42:46

They just don’t sound like nice people.
There are nice , wealthy people and not so nice, as there are in any walk of life.
Avoid them. Try and treat them kindly, and with humour, they may learn something and it may make you feel better.
Also, just keep saying NO.

vegansrock Wed 29-Jul-20 05:51:32

Perhaps they thought they were doing you a favour by offering you the car/ bikes? - a simple “thanks for the offer, but no thanks” should be enough. We’ve been giving a neighbour, a single parent with no work since March, some extra veg from our garden - are we being snobbish? ( we live in same sized houses)

ladymuck Wed 29-Jul-20 06:41:06

'We prefer to buy new'...would have been my response to the car/bike offer.
You need to start getting a bit more assertive and speak your mind. You'll be more respected for it.

tickingbird Wed 29-Jul-20 09:17:10

Stand your ground and ignore their snobbish nonsense and having a degree and letters after your name doesn’t make you a better person either.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Wed 29-Jul-20 09:23:04

I think it's mostly insecurity which makes people behave like this. The nouveau riche perhaps feel ashamed of their humble beginnings - and possibly that they'll get 'found out' and kicked back down again. All very silly.

TrendyNannie6 Wed 29-Jul-20 09:27:32

They sound weird, I think I’d have said the same thing as lady muck said, if we need anything we buy new, I would have tackled him on the comment well it wasn’t a good car anyway though, I’d have said so what gives you the impression that I would want it, off you go now

crazygranny Wed 29-Jul-20 09:27:33

It's really maddening but you lose nothing by making sure you don't bother with them again.

Cambia Wed 29-Jul-20 09:28:14

Next time they try to sell you something cheap, smile and say oh dear are you struggling for money, I am sorry!
Otherwise ignore them..doesn’t matter whatever people think about you so long as you are happy. You don’t need to justify yourselves to anyone or compete. It is definitely a lack of self confidence in their part if they need to show off.

DaisyL Wed 29-Jul-20 09:31:03

Money can't buy class, but don't let other people's ill-breeding dictate your behaviour? I hope you didn't pay for the bike by the way! Cheek.

chris8888 Wed 29-Jul-20 09:31:41

You sound like your falling into caring what they think. Why would you bother.

TanaMa Wed 29-Jul-20 09:32:27

I can remember two friends in particular who, if you went by their choice of dress or type of car or holiday, you would never guess they were extremely wealthy. They were just so down to earth and never tried to be better than anyone else. I think it is the 'nouveaux riche' who have that attitude.

Tweedle24 Wed 29-Jul-20 09:32:31

My grandmother used to say “not used to anything” about people like that. I took me a long time to realise what she meant.

MerylStreep Wed 29-Jul-20 09:36:25

I have been known to say do I look like the type of person who would use that that said with raised eyebrows.

Grandma70s Wed 29-Jul-20 09:36:50

It amazes me how easily some people take offence. I don’t really come across it in real life, but it is rife on discussion sites like this one. It must make life very difficult. None of the things mentioned would bother me in the slightest.

knspol Wed 29-Jul-20 09:51:38

These posts make me wonder whether I've ever offended people by offering them stuff. Definitely NOT that I've ever looked down on anybody concerned in any way, just thinking how sensitive some people might be. Also definitely not Madam Bountiful.