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Should I be offended?

(115 Posts)
LindyR Tue 28-Jul-20 15:46:34

I live in a small street where one side are rather expensive houses and my side which are flats. We have lived here and raised our children for over 22 years. Two or three of our neighbours are very friendly whilst the others completely ignore us. Their children were privately educated while our were not. The point of my post is that twice we were approached by 2 neighbours asking if we wanted to buy their old cars. One whose father had recently died! When we refused they said ‘ It wasn’t a very good car anyway!’ I was furious! It was obviously good enough for us! They also tried to sell us an old bike when they were clearing out their shed. My DH is a mountain biker, owns 3 expensive bikes and tried to say no. They said ‘just take it as we want rid of it’ They insisted and we eventually said we’d give it to a friend. A few months later our neighbour came over and asked why we hadn’t paid him for the bike! Another neighbour recently trained in the same profession as myself and I met her at an event. I tried to speak to her but she blanked me. Why do people who think they have more money than others behave like we are trash. My DH has a doctorate but it’s not known in our street. Both my children and I have degrees and have good careers. Would that change their opinion? Or is it all about the money?

Daisymae Mon 03-Aug-20 15:16:10

Actually I have never encountered anything like this in my life, people are people wherever you happen to live in the world. I think that most responses are clear, avoid these people. It's not snobbery just plain and simple stupidity.

janeainsworth Mon 03-Aug-20 14:55:26

Well to be fair Specki I’ve lived most of my life in UK & neither have I.
Snobbery is often perceived, rather than intended or actual.

specki4eyes Mon 03-Aug-20 12:30:31

janeainsworth in answer to your question....all of the above.
And I've lived in France for 18 years and have NEVER encountered the ridiculous snobbery referred to by the OP. 'Rented flats on one side, posh houses on the other'....oh please! Grow up!

Alexa Sun 02-Aug-20 10:15:05

Lindy R, you are a swan cygnet lost among a flock of ducklings.

Alexa Sun 02-Aug-20 10:12:46

I don't like being patronised . I would like to be offered a really valuable free gift with no strings attached but I'd suspect it was a scam.

Harris27 Sun 02-Aug-20 09:31:59

So this time we’ve just been through has taught people nothing. We have just been through such a sad time and still going through it and it has taught some people nothing at all. You hold your head up high and know you are the genuine decent people and they are the shallow ones.

timetogo2016 Sun 02-Aug-20 09:23:58

They may have a big house and money,but what they haven`t got is class/decency or respect.
Where you clearly have in abundance.
And next time they offer you something politly inform them you don`t need their charity as you and dh have a healthy income.

janeainsworth Sun 02-Aug-20 09:03:46

specki Posts on here never fail to reinforce my decision to leave Britain.

Are you referring to the OP’s condescending, patronising neighbours, or the posters who are taking unnecessary umbrage on her behalf? grin

Baggs Sun 02-Aug-20 09:00:09

If you have to ask whether you should be offended, the answer is no. It would be beneath you.

Take it in your stride and shrug off the stupidity/snobbishness.

Furret Sun 02-Aug-20 06:46:01

Why on earth should this offend you?

absent Sun 02-Aug-20 06:17:00

Coolgran65 "Well, I didn't buy my doctorate. I suppose I must have done some satisfactory work." What a completely absurd remark!

grandMattie Sun 02-Aug-20 06:15:13

specki4eyes

Posts on here never fail to reinforce my decision to leave Britain.

Don’t worry. The rest of the world is just as bad if not worse. You Just have to get to know them.

absent Sun 02-Aug-20 06:09:39

Your neighbours sound completely ridiculous, rather pathetic and pretty desperate for confirmation that they are somehow superior. I don't think the latter is likely to be forthcoming from anywhere. Remember that line of Oscar Wilde's about knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing.

specki4eyes Sun 02-Aug-20 05:58:57

Posts on here never fail to reinforce my decision to leave Britain.

Tweedle24 Sat 01-Aug-20 11:33:45

Dogsmother Although, it seems, nobody abides by it any more, it is actually illegal to call yourself a nurse unless you are a qualified or student nurse.

That is not to belittle the care given by Nursing Auxiliaries. I was a ward sister and could not have managed without my kind, caring and experienced nursing auxiliaries

dogsmother Thu 30-Jul-20 19:07:37

I would be happy to be considered for anything going, I’m not broke but it’s better than wasting money. I have offered things to neighbors if I’ve thought it appropriate but that’s because I’ve always preferred to share, don’t always think badly of people.
And please.....Tilly? Don’t suggest a nursing auxiliary is not a nurse. They may not have a degree qualification but I can assure you many, many thousands and more patients have been grateful for the nursing care of a nursing auxiliary.

NannyG123 Thu 30-Jul-20 11:42:20

it wouldn't bother me. I'd just say a polite No Thank you. And move on.

Jewelswalk Thu 30-Jul-20 10:08:10

Jennyluck...We rent our house.

Gladrags Thu 30-Jul-20 09:50:47

I was asked to babysit two children after school. I was teaching at the children's school so it was no trouble to take them home for half an hour. I was happy to help out. No money was involved. The mother was a snob and not popular and I was pleased for her that she had found a job. The agreed half an hour quickly lengthened in time and she began arriving later and later. No apology or explanation. No thanks or little box of chocs. One day she arrived with a bundle of old clothes for my daughter. She insisted that my daughter try on the bobbled cardigans, faded dresses and buttonless coat (this is absolutely true).I thanked her for the gift. She said "They are not a gift. When you have finished using them, I'd like them returned so that I can give them to someone else". Everyone has their moment of truth and that was mine. She needed help, but was unaware of he fact. Perhaps, Lindy R your neighbours are the same. They offend without realising how offensive they are. Good luck.

LindyR Wed 29-Jul-20 19:42:10

Thank you for all your lovely posts. We did sadly, pay for the bike as we were so taken aback we thought that it looked like we were trying to wriggle out of paying. Afterwards we thought ‘What just happened?’ Phloembundle you were quite savage but correct! It’s about how we feel about ourselves and Although my DH feels less sensitive, I must try to rise above this and let it go. I will try!!!

dizzygran Wed 29-Jul-20 19:09:40

A shame. Life is too short for this kind of snobbery. You keep trying to make a point about your education. This could come over as a different kind of one upmanship. Stop trying to prove you are better than "them. You can be better than that. Just be yourself.

Bumboseat1 Wed 29-Jul-20 19:07:33

This wouldn’t bother me at all, if that’s all you have to worry about your lucky . All you had to say was no thanks

welbeck Wed 29-Jul-20 18:49:37

i felt uneasy OP when you mentioned your/husbands degrees.
sounds a bit like intellectual snobbery.
the implication is that it puts you up a notch or two, above the neighbours or people without degrees.

Forestflame Wed 29-Jul-20 18:43:27

Money talks - wealth whispers!

jerseygirl Wed 29-Jul-20 18:42:22

Real snobs, you are worth more than all of them put together. Just because they might have more money than you doesn't give them the right to treat you like this. I would give them a wide berth. Tell them to stick their tat where the sun doesn't shine and get on with your own lovely life.