Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Confused ? why do people always think ? I am as old as them

(115 Posts)
NanaDH Sat 05-Sep-20 19:03:29

I am 61. I have very white grey hair ( Not dyed), since I was about 30. This problem has been on going since then but with the introduction of masks it is becoming a daily occurrence. Today was the worst, an older lady whom I was serving at work in the supermarket, said “of course you would remember that during the war, we got use to food shortages”! Last week I popped in to see if my daughter in law was back at work. The lady I spoke to told DIL “ an old lady came in to see you today”!! GS 12; when he realised it was me thought that was hilarious. I am the all modern, up and going NANA with 2 children, 6 grandchildren. What should I do or say when this happens? Any one liners? Welcome. ( that won’t get me the sack) Thank you ?

kissngate Sun 06-Sep-20 11:23:04

I overheard a comment while in the loo at work. A change in offices meant I was taking calls meant for someone else. It was all complimentary until the lady said I cant believe she hasnt retired yet. I was 52.

FindingNemo15 Sun 06-Sep-20 11:25:48

I know a few older ladies that are old enough to be my mother and although they know my age they always say "we". We remember the war, we used to do this, etc. I think they do it deliberately to either upset me or make themselves feel better.

Cannot understand why age is so important and some people have to keep telling you how old they are!

NanaDH Sun 06-Sep-20 14:17:30

I don’t mine being old to a younger person☺️It’s the over 80,s that think I am the same age as me that bother me?

Poppyred Sun 06-Sep-20 14:31:59

Went to Waitrose with a friend after being out for lunch. The lad behind the tills asked me very loudly how my mum was doing today. I’m 65 and very dear friend is 76! I’m not sure if she heard or pretended not to......

kircubbin2000 Sun 06-Sep-20 14:35:31

This always annoyed my mother who had white hair since her 20s. When she went out with her mil and grans sister everyone presumed they were 3 sisters.

trustgone4sure Sun 06-Sep-20 14:41:18

My come back would be " un-like yourself i am not in the departure lounge".

Luckygirl Sun 06-Sep-20 14:58:57

Maggiemaybe - not flippant at all - I have never been officially diagnosed and do not have the full gamut of symptoms, but my doc friend is convinced I have it. I would go and have it investigated if the symptoms were bad enough and there was any useful treatment - but there isn't. Having younger skin is the pay-off. smile

annsixty Sun 06-Sep-20 15:14:11

I posted this a few months ago but will repeat it.
My friend was taking some things to a charity shop before lockdown, I was with her, and when she opened her boot for us to do some shopping the woman in the car next to us remarked about a pretty ornament on top.
My friend explained and said please take it.
I noticed a folding chair side table and said oh I would like that.
The other woman said to my friend, I was going to ask for that as well but your mother obviously wants it.
My friend is 3 years younger than me.

Maggiemaybe Sun 06-Sep-20 16:34:18

I’m very pleased to hear that, Luckygirl (and thank you). smile

silverlining48 Sun 06-Sep-20 16:34:37

I feel your pain ann smile

Charleygirl5 Sun 06-Sep-20 16:50:55

It is the opposite with me. Twice this week I have been asked if I am still working- I will be 77 in a few weeks time so no I am not.

Spangler Sun 06-Sep-20 17:01:02

NanaDH, you might retort with:
Few women admit their age; few men act it.

And for the fellows on Gransnet:
I grew a beard thinking it would say "Distinguished Gentleman." Instead, turns out it says, "Senior Discount, Please!"

Callistemon Sun 06-Sep-20 20:03:13

It is the opposite with me. Twice this week I have been asked if I am still working- I will be 77 in a few weeks time so no I am not.

Please share your secrets, Charleygirl!

annsixty Sun 06-Sep-20 20:55:55

Silverlining
Thank you for that comment.
I have been on thorns since yesterday thinking I might have upset you with my jokey reply.
Obviously you have my sense of humour.

NanaDH Sun 06-Sep-20 21:04:45

Thank you all for your comments, ALL made me smile and feel less OLD and grey x

lindiann Sun 06-Sep-20 21:11:30

I took my Brother for a Hospital Appointment, the Receptionist asked if I was his Mother He is 78 I am 60. Must keep telling myself He looks exceptionally young (40) or else I look 98 shock

honeyrose Mon 07-Sep-20 00:08:39

I learned the hard way that you should never assume people’s ages. I once served a couple at the counter of the library I worked in and assumed that they were husband and wife and I (stupidly, I now realise!) addressed them as such. I was told in no uncertain terms by the man that they were in fact son and mother. The son was absolutely mortified and his embarrassment was palpable! I think he was also quite angry. I felt dreadful because of my faux pas. The mother was really pleased as it made her appear to me as younger. There was no way I could successfully backtrack from my genuine “mistake” and I learned from that. “Assume” makes an ass of u (you) and me!

Elrel Mon 07-Sep-20 00:33:11

At 39 I started a new job in a care home. A resident greeted me warmly with a lovely smile saying ‘Have you come to live here?’

Charleygirl5 Mon 07-Sep-20 08:33:59

Callistemon My hair is very white but I do not have age spots or many wrinkles on my face. I am partially sighted and have problems walking so maybe Specsavers should have been on the cards for both?

Luckygirl Mon 07-Sep-20 08:52:02

I had the ambulance out yesterday as I went into fast atrial fibrillation which needed sorting. One of these women (who looked about 14) asked if I had any carers coming in - well thanks! I think she was concerned that I live on my own as I have been having a few bouts of this recently.

I was tempted to ask if she needed help to wipe her bum!

shysal Mon 07-Sep-20 09:21:33

About 20 years ago I was asked at my brother's wedding (to an only slightly younger woman) if I was the bride's mother. It ruined my day!

Coconut Mon 07-Sep-20 09:49:36

I realise I’m lucky as I do not look my age at all, and I’ve been told this many times. However, my staff before I retired knew my age and were always making jokes about it. I had a couple of one liners “ it’s taken me 60 years to look this good, it’ll take you a lot longer” ..... or the classic “I’d rather be over the hill than under it” ?

netflixfan Mon 07-Sep-20 10:09:47

I don't care, I call myself an old lady. I'm bottle blonde and get taken for my kids sister though! When though I'm 68. Blondes have more fun!! Try it! ?

songstress60 Mon 07-Sep-20 10:10:08

When I was only 58 and receiving a flu jab they had agency nurses who looked about 12 in to help out and one of the nurses said I needed to go to another queue to get my pulse checked as they always advised over 65's to do this. I went ballistic with her.

jaylucy Mon 07-Sep-20 10:13:09

I can remember when I was 38 and in a group of mums (I used to run the local Mums and Tots group and they were all talking about age - one asked me how old I was and when I said 38 , another mum said "oh I didn't think that was how old you were!"
I looked at her and said "Oh thank you very much!" to which I got a dirty look . Still don't know if she meant that she was surprised I was that old , or she thought I was older !