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Confused ? why do people always think ? I am as old as them

(115 Posts)
NanaDH Sat 05-Sept-20 19:03:29

I am 61. I have very white grey hair ( Not dyed), since I was about 30. This problem has been on going since then but with the introduction of masks it is becoming a daily occurrence. Today was the worst, an older lady whom I was serving at work in the supermarket, said “of course you would remember that during the war, we got use to food shortages”! Last week I popped in to see if my daughter in law was back at work. The lady I spoke to told DIL “ an old lady came in to see you today”!! GS 12; when he realised it was me thought that was hilarious. I am the all modern, up and going NANA with 2 children, 6 grandchildren. What should I do or say when this happens? Any one liners? Welcome. ( that won’t get me the sack) Thank you ?

Seefah Mon 07-Sept-20 10:22:28

It’s very irritating and upsetting when people assume you are old. My husband is 7 years younger but used to look 20 years younger and people would look at me and ask if his mother would like a seat ! Now he has grey hair, I don’t, it doesn’t happen any more. But now I have a few acquaintances who keep talking about people dying their hair ! So even if you have very long dark brown hair like me women just assume you dye it. You can’t win. Better not dye hair because no one knows what those chemicals do seeping into your bloodstream.
I love Glorybee’s idea and just say ‘I’ll have you know I’m 102 and still driving !’

LovelyLady Mon 07-Sept-20 10:24:08

I'm confused why it's a problem for some to be age sensitive. When I'm speaking to older folk I do include them in my generation even when they're 30 yrs older than me!
What irritates this old lady of 68 is the over sensitivity of some who should know better. Be inclusive, why make someone feel bad with one-line put downs - good manners are still free.
No one line comments please, demonstrate a little sensitivity.
Oh! for those who forgot - we had food shortages in the 70’s along with the reduced working week.

Lupin Mon 07-Sept-20 10:24:48

A long time ago when I was in my late 40s I was bent into the snowy wind ,wearing a headscarf round my head, trudging heavily along, carrying my very full shopping bags up the street and some young boys threw a snowball at me. I turned to give them a few sharp words when a very earnest young man got out of his car and said to them " Don't you know better than to throw snowballs at old women?" He got the few sharp words instead and the boys ran off laughing.

polnan Mon 07-Sept-20 10:25:28

my dear close friend here, with whom I go about with,, is in her early 50`s, looks o.k. I am 84,.. when we first met we found we had our birthdays on the same day,, so ever since then, my friend has said we are sisters,, twin sisters in fact. and that is how we talk about ourselves (mostly!)

so we often introduce ourselves as "sisters" get some funny looks, but no one , so far , has commented

Chris5640 Mon 07-Sept-20 10:40:44

One liners: Assuming I am an old lady is your first big mistake pal!
I might be older than you but I know things!!!
My broomstick and cat are under the counter/desk so be very careful.

Nannan2 Mon 07-Sept-20 10:41:13

Im quite a young looking gran,at just 57 now, and have no wrinkles (good wrinkle free skin runs in our family) and i dont get much grey hair which i do colour if i spot it, but my own youngest child is only just 17- when he was still 15 we went to one of his medical appts, and though im pretty sure i remember introducing myself as his MUM, in the report letter Dr posted out afterwards he said he had attended with his grandmother! (I must have been having a bad hair day or something!) I was fuming, i was dressed quite 'modern' too, not like some 8o yr old gran!

Nannan2 Mon 07-Sept-20 10:43:57

I guess its true that anyone under 30 assumes everyone over it is old?

4allweknow Mon 07-Sept-20 10:44:08

Just ask if they have heard the saying "looks can be deceiving".

Mollygo Mon 07-Sept-20 10:46:04

Glorybeee You made my day. That’s an answer my mum used to use because her hair was grey from her 40’s. I’d forgotten it but thanks for the reminder.

Nannan2 Mon 07-Sept-20 10:50:16

Lovelylady, i remember a 3day wk in the 70's- i was a kid then, but dont remember having food shortages for it? I DO remember the gov't giving out butter vouchers though as there was an excess 'butter mountain'?

Rosina Mon 07-Sept-20 10:54:27

I asked a girl of about twelve how old she thought I was, when she had heard it was my birthday and enquired about my age. She looked me up and down, studied carefully, and then said 'Early forties?' I was twenty eight! However, in my seventies I do get some surprised looks if I mention my age and have been told I look in my fifties, so something has happened in the intervening years! (Portrait in the attic?)

inishowen Mon 07-Sept-20 10:55:19

My daughter is in her early forties and has children aged 8 and 3. Recently at the park, a stranger said "your grandson is next" when they were waiting for a swing. My poor daughter was quite upset.

Nannan2 Mon 07-Sept-20 10:55:29

My late aunt's hair went white at 23yrs old, i remember my mum telling me when i was a child.she used to dye it blonde for some years but gave up in her late 40's & just left it white i think.(she still had our family's young looking skin though)

Maggiemaybe Mon 07-Sept-20 10:55:32

I had a few weeks kicking my heels between my summer job ending and starting college and my mother insisted I sign on. I wasn’t entitled to any benefits but was given butter vouchers, lots of them, which she was more than happy with.

BrandyGran Mon 07-Sept-20 11:04:07

Think of all the fortune of money we have saved by not dyeing our silver hair! When assistants ask me if I would like help with packing groceries I always say "Yes please!"

Nannan2 Mon 07-Sept-20 11:05:49

I often took my grandchildren on holiday,(my older AC's kids) before covid 19, along with my own two youngest sons, and often had to point out which were my grandkids & that other 2 were my own sons!(whom i had at 35 & almost 40!)?

Nannan2 Mon 07-Sept-20 11:09:57

Yes maggiemaybe i think mum got the butter vouchers as they were for under 18's.i think i was about 10 or 11 then.?

NannyEm Mon 07-Sept-20 11:12:12

Luckygirl. I certainly hope you DON'T have EDS There are many different types of this syndrome, perhaps the only good thing can be porcelain white skin. My 22 yr old grand daughter has hEDS whch is hypermobile EDS and it is a debilitating, painful, condition. That being said, I have never been formally diagnosed with genetic testing like my grand daughter has but I have many aspects of EDS like resistance to anaesthetics in major operations and dental work, stretchy skin (google Sara Geurts) some hypermobility, latex allergies, and have always been taken for many years younger than my age as I dont have any wrinkles on my face. My Mum who died at 91 had no wrinkles and soft white skin on her face . It would have been interesting if she and I had been tested. I just accept things because I see what my grand daughter endures. Perhaps you could ask your doctor to have you tested for your own interest. Meanwhile, enjoy your young looks,

Gwenisgreat1 Mon 07-Sept-20 11:12:36

I will admit 20 years ago I was friendly with a lady I trained with because I assumed she was similar age or older than me - at that time she was in her forties. We are still friends, I did suggest she coloured her hair, which she did and looks a lot younger than me nowadays

Aepgirl Mon 07-Sept-20 11:13:06

Anybody over 35 is old to young people. Just laugh and shrug it off. However, don’t forget to do your eye makeup - it can look really sexy behind a mask, no matter what your age.

Violettham Mon 07-Sept-20 11:14:22

silvedlining Where on earth are you coming from I
was 6 when the war started . I well remember the shortages please check your facts. I agree with annesixty

vickymeldrew Mon 07-Sept-20 11:19:44

White hair is a poor indicator of age. What about Olly Murs who looks great with his dyed white hair?
As to a suitable retort when strangers comment, I prefer to bounce back with “I’m younger than I look !” and watch them squirm ... ...

Sawsage2 Mon 07-Sept-20 11:28:52

I have a high voice. When I answered the phone the other day, the man ringing me said 'is your mummy in?'

Nannan2 Mon 07-Sept-20 11:30:09

Geekesse, someone in a shop (where my sons do sometimes go, the almost 22 yr old quite often)asked me other day if my sons had both gone back to school now- theyre at 2nd yr college & uni now!(told you all our family look young) my eldest child, was 40 in april, is occasionally still asked for ID in shops, & she & her daughter,21, are mistaken for sisters ?

Riggie Mon 07-Sept-20 11:30:32

I take my adult son to the community dentist as he has learning disabilities. Hes an adult but I kften get referred to as his Nan by one of the dental nurses!! Now actually I'm older Mum and actually I could be his grandmother, but when every one else complements me and thinks I am a lot younger than I am, it's a bit of a blow!!