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Confused ? why do people always think ? I am as old as them

(115 Posts)
NanaDH Sat 05-Sept-20 19:03:29

I am 61. I have very white grey hair ( Not dyed), since I was about 30. This problem has been on going since then but with the introduction of masks it is becoming a daily occurrence. Today was the worst, an older lady whom I was serving at work in the supermarket, said “of course you would remember that during the war, we got use to food shortages”! Last week I popped in to see if my daughter in law was back at work. The lady I spoke to told DIL “ an old lady came in to see you today”!! GS 12; when he realised it was me thought that was hilarious. I am the all modern, up and going NANA with 2 children, 6 grandchildren. What should I do or say when this happens? Any one liners? Welcome. ( that won’t get me the sack) Thank you ?

Maggiemaybe Mon 07-Sept-20 10:55:32

I had a few weeks kicking my heels between my summer job ending and starting college and my mother insisted I sign on. I wasn’t entitled to any benefits but was given butter vouchers, lots of them, which she was more than happy with.

Nannan2 Mon 07-Sept-20 10:55:29

My late aunt's hair went white at 23yrs old, i remember my mum telling me when i was a child.she used to dye it blonde for some years but gave up in her late 40's & just left it white i think.(she still had our family's young looking skin though)

inishowen Mon 07-Sept-20 10:55:19

My daughter is in her early forties and has children aged 8 and 3. Recently at the park, a stranger said "your grandson is next" when they were waiting for a swing. My poor daughter was quite upset.

Rosina Mon 07-Sept-20 10:54:27

I asked a girl of about twelve how old she thought I was, when she had heard it was my birthday and enquired about my age. She looked me up and down, studied carefully, and then said 'Early forties?' I was twenty eight! However, in my seventies I do get some surprised looks if I mention my age and have been told I look in my fifties, so something has happened in the intervening years! (Portrait in the attic?)

Nannan2 Mon 07-Sept-20 10:50:16

Lovelylady, i remember a 3day wk in the 70's- i was a kid then, but dont remember having food shortages for it? I DO remember the gov't giving out butter vouchers though as there was an excess 'butter mountain'?

Mollygo Mon 07-Sept-20 10:46:04

Glorybeee You made my day. That’s an answer my mum used to use because her hair was grey from her 40’s. I’d forgotten it but thanks for the reminder.

4allweknow Mon 07-Sept-20 10:44:08

Just ask if they have heard the saying "looks can be deceiving".

Nannan2 Mon 07-Sept-20 10:43:57

I guess its true that anyone under 30 assumes everyone over it is old?

Nannan2 Mon 07-Sept-20 10:41:13

Im quite a young looking gran,at just 57 now, and have no wrinkles (good wrinkle free skin runs in our family) and i dont get much grey hair which i do colour if i spot it, but my own youngest child is only just 17- when he was still 15 we went to one of his medical appts, and though im pretty sure i remember introducing myself as his MUM, in the report letter Dr posted out afterwards he said he had attended with his grandmother! (I must have been having a bad hair day or something!) I was fuming, i was dressed quite 'modern' too, not like some 8o yr old gran!

Chris5640 Mon 07-Sept-20 10:40:44

One liners: Assuming I am an old lady is your first big mistake pal!
I might be older than you but I know things!!!
My broomstick and cat are under the counter/desk so be very careful.

polnan Mon 07-Sept-20 10:25:28

my dear close friend here, with whom I go about with,, is in her early 50`s, looks o.k. I am 84,.. when we first met we found we had our birthdays on the same day,, so ever since then, my friend has said we are sisters,, twin sisters in fact. and that is how we talk about ourselves (mostly!)

so we often introduce ourselves as "sisters" get some funny looks, but no one , so far , has commented

Lupin Mon 07-Sept-20 10:24:48

A long time ago when I was in my late 40s I was bent into the snowy wind ,wearing a headscarf round my head, trudging heavily along, carrying my very full shopping bags up the street and some young boys threw a snowball at me. I turned to give them a few sharp words when a very earnest young man got out of his car and said to them " Don't you know better than to throw snowballs at old women?" He got the few sharp words instead and the boys ran off laughing.

LovelyLady Mon 07-Sept-20 10:24:08

I'm confused why it's a problem for some to be age sensitive. When I'm speaking to older folk I do include them in my generation even when they're 30 yrs older than me!
What irritates this old lady of 68 is the over sensitivity of some who should know better. Be inclusive, why make someone feel bad with one-line put downs - good manners are still free.
No one line comments please, demonstrate a little sensitivity.
Oh! for those who forgot - we had food shortages in the 70’s along with the reduced working week.

Seefah Mon 07-Sept-20 10:22:28

It’s very irritating and upsetting when people assume you are old. My husband is 7 years younger but used to look 20 years younger and people would look at me and ask if his mother would like a seat ! Now he has grey hair, I don’t, it doesn’t happen any more. But now I have a few acquaintances who keep talking about people dying their hair ! So even if you have very long dark brown hair like me women just assume you dye it. You can’t win. Better not dye hair because no one knows what those chemicals do seeping into your bloodstream.
I love Glorybee’s idea and just say ‘I’ll have you know I’m 102 and still driving !’

jaylucy Mon 07-Sept-20 10:13:09

I can remember when I was 38 and in a group of mums (I used to run the local Mums and Tots group and they were all talking about age - one asked me how old I was and when I said 38 , another mum said "oh I didn't think that was how old you were!"
I looked at her and said "Oh thank you very much!" to which I got a dirty look . Still don't know if she meant that she was surprised I was that old , or she thought I was older !

songstress60 Mon 07-Sept-20 10:10:08

When I was only 58 and receiving a flu jab they had agency nurses who looked about 12 in to help out and one of the nurses said I needed to go to another queue to get my pulse checked as they always advised over 65's to do this. I went ballistic with her.

netflixfan Mon 07-Sept-20 10:09:47

I don't care, I call myself an old lady. I'm bottle blonde and get taken for my kids sister though! When though I'm 68. Blondes have more fun!! Try it! ?

Coconut Mon 07-Sept-20 09:49:36

I realise I’m lucky as I do not look my age at all, and I’ve been told this many times. However, my staff before I retired knew my age and were always making jokes about it. I had a couple of one liners “ it’s taken me 60 years to look this good, it’ll take you a lot longer” ..... or the classic “I’d rather be over the hill than under it” ?

shysal Mon 07-Sept-20 09:21:33

About 20 years ago I was asked at my brother's wedding (to an only slightly younger woman) if I was the bride's mother. It ruined my day!

Luckygirl Mon 07-Sept-20 08:52:02

I had the ambulance out yesterday as I went into fast atrial fibrillation which needed sorting. One of these women (who looked about 14) asked if I had any carers coming in - well thanks! I think she was concerned that I live on my own as I have been having a few bouts of this recently.

I was tempted to ask if she needed help to wipe her bum!

Charleygirl5 Mon 07-Sept-20 08:33:59

Callistemon My hair is very white but I do not have age spots or many wrinkles on my face. I am partially sighted and have problems walking so maybe Specsavers should have been on the cards for both?

Elrel Mon 07-Sept-20 00:33:11

At 39 I started a new job in a care home. A resident greeted me warmly with a lovely smile saying ‘Have you come to live here?’

honeyrose Mon 07-Sept-20 00:08:39

I learned the hard way that you should never assume people’s ages. I once served a couple at the counter of the library I worked in and assumed that they were husband and wife and I (stupidly, I now realise!) addressed them as such. I was told in no uncertain terms by the man that they were in fact son and mother. The son was absolutely mortified and his embarrassment was palpable! I think he was also quite angry. I felt dreadful because of my faux pas. The mother was really pleased as it made her appear to me as younger. There was no way I could successfully backtrack from my genuine “mistake” and I learned from that. “Assume” makes an ass of u (you) and me!

lindiann Sun 06-Sept-20 21:11:30

I took my Brother for a Hospital Appointment, the Receptionist asked if I was his Mother He is 78 I am 60. Must keep telling myself He looks exceptionally young (40) or else I look 98 shock

NanaDH Sun 06-Sept-20 21:04:45

Thank you all for your comments, ALL made me smile and feel less OLD and grey x