Hi. I'm new to gransnet and would appreciate any advice. Many years ago I agreed to be buried next to my husband despite my personal preference for a cremation, because it meant so much to him for us to 'be together'. Although we've been together for 30yrs we don't live together. This is mostly my choice. TBH I can't cope with him full time. He has mental and physical problems. Sometimes he's like Jekyll and Hyde. Very generous and kind to outsiders looking in but he can turn very nasty if he doesn't get his own way. He manipulates me with emotional blackmail. Earlier this year we agreed on a natural burial, but it turned out we wouldn't actually be next to each other; that was only poss with cremation. So it was all agreed, he said he was ok with that if it was what I wanted. Yes, I really like the place.
He's now changed his mind entirely! Says he wants burial not cremation, must be in a 'proper' place, headstone, the works. Complete turnaround! And obviously the opposite to what I'd like. I can't bear the thought of a cemetery for myself. And then the emotional blackmail started and he expected me to give in. But this time I haven't. Eventually he said he would never force me to do what I didn't want to(ha, maybe not directly!) and has given me the money to sort out my natural burial/ashes. I know he's found it very hard accepting that we won't end up together (in death if not living together) and things are very strained at the moment. Also I know my children(he's dad to youngest) would be happier knowing I'm where I want to be, back to nature. I I feel sad about it all, but I'm not wrong in sticking to my guns on this, am I? Sorry this is so long!
