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Bullying at primary school

(9 Posts)
grandmac Wed 16-Sep-20 18:42:14

Hi everyone
I'm sure I can get some answers from wise grans on here. And apologies for a long rambling post.
My DGD now aged 7 has had trouble with one boy in her class since Year 1. At first it seemed as if they were good friends but he very soon became controlling, dragging her around by the wrist, kissing her against her will and generally being nasty. My daughter has photographic evidence of bruising he caused on her arm but unfortunately it was the day before half term so was unable to follow that up immediately. They were Mary and Joseph in the school nativity and during each rehearsal he refused to hold her hand and whispered horrible things to her causing her to cry before she had to go on stage. The hand holding doesn't matter but to deliberately cause her distress in that situation was very cruel. This and more went on until in Year 2 she developed stress related hives and admitted she was afraid of him. At this point my daughter wrote to the teacher to complain and he immediately moved my DGD to another table and had a talk with the boy concerned. This resulted in his parents coming in to see the teacher after which they told my daughter that the teacher agreed with them that it was my DGDs fault. But when my daughter saw the teacher he vehemently denied this. However the boy then ignored my DGD and all was well. Now they have gone back after lockdown into Year 3 and it is starting again. My daughter did email the teacher before term started asking them not to be placed near each other in class and she replied that she knew the previous history and would keep a watchful eye. But there have already been 2 upsetting incidents in the playground. My daughter doesn't want to get a reputation as a nuisance parent but also of course wants to protect DGD.
Should she complain again or wait to see how things progress?

PaperMonster Wed 16-Sep-20 18:44:42

I’d complain again.

Bibbity Wed 16-Sep-20 18:46:30

This is very serious. I would be demanding a meeting with the head and making a social services call. Your DGD has suffered sexual assault and abuse.
And the school have massively failed her safeguarding her.

Your daughter doesn’t have to play nice. Get the complaints procedure and take it to the top.

Grandmabatty Wed 16-Sep-20 18:52:39

If I was your daughter, I would contact the school in writing ie email but not specifically the teacher if the bullying is happening in the playground. I would give details in a matter of fact way and ask what measures they were putting in place to ensure her safety. I would also ask for a response within a week. If that wasn't successful, I would email the headteacher once more and this time copy in the Local Authority. Keep it cool in tone so she can't be accused of being emotional, even although she's probably raging! I hope it gets sorted. Don't engage with the boy or his parents at all regarding this.

Elrel Wed 16-Sep-20 19:34:58

There should already be a paper trail of complaints to the school and the steps taken to deal with them.
This is a distressing situation which has been going on for far too long. Your daughter is not a nuisance parent, she is trying to protect her child.
If the school staff are aware of the bullying in the playground it should have been dealt with each time it happened.

J52 Wed 16-Sep-20 19:39:08

OFSTED will take safeguarding complaints very seriously, i suggests your DD contacts them.

Callistemon Wed 16-Sep-20 19:42:37

Advise your daughter to keep note, if necessary photographic evidence of bruising.
Complain again, too, to the HT and, if necessary, the governors.

There should be someone on playground duty for that age group; they are failing in their duty.

This boy is a bully but also sounds rather disturbed.

grandmac Wed 16-Sep-20 20:48:04

Thank you everyone for your replies. We do know my daughter has to take this back to the school but then start to wonder if we are over reacting. But your wise replies have confirmed what we knew to be the right course of action.
Many thanks

Missfoodlove Wed 16-Sep-20 20:52:58

Your daughter must first go online and read the schools anti bullying policy. She needs to be able to quote it back to them.

A paper trail must be created so email contact is preferable to the phone.

The school must be made aware of all incidents no matter how small.

Do not let go of this.
Bullying has to be stopped, I know from experience.

The school often will brush everything under the carpet and no parent wants to face up to the fact their child is a bully.