Useless skills we are secretly proud of

fevertree

I also darn, but I don't count that as a useless skill, because it is very much in demand in my family. I do "a stitch in time" ... all the time.

I will try and think of a useless skill!

I do so agree about darning. My gran taught me and I still get my mushroom out occasionally. DH has evil big toe nails so his works socks are now neatly darned. His effort was useless! I find it therapeutic.

Hard to think of a useless skills - Waggling my ears? However, it did used to make my granddaughter giggle.

I can recite most of periodic table. My friend Jan and I used to do it while waiting in the lab for our chemistry teacher to appear. She was always late so we had plenty of time to practise. Hhelibebcnofne, namgalsipsclar, kcasctivcrmnfeconiczn, gageassebrkr, rbsryzrnbmotcru, rhpdagcdinsnsbteixe, and so on.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I can ride a bike with no hands ...although was a while ago!
I can pretend to be really, really cross without raising my voice or going bonkers, which has always proved useful in a variety of situations.
I can remember thousands of useless facts which means I usually do well on The Chase each evening and pub quizzes - remember those?!
I can also remember my mums Co-op number off by heart 73497 - woe betide going home without the ‘divvy’ slip of paper, and Dad’s very old split screen Morris Minor URB 139 - loved that car despite my severe carsickness ??
All in all pretty disappointing....

I can cut an eggshell in half with a hacksaw

I do a mean reverse park!

I can recite the Hail Mary in French. I'm also very good at undoing knots in things when others have taken to the high pitched screaming.

I can cut an uncut loaf into equal neat slices without ending up with wedge shapes!

Ps I can’t whistle with my fingers in my mouth and have always been envious of people who can.

Oh, I forgot. I can count from 1-10 in English, French, German, Spanish and Lithuanian.

I know every single postcode in my home town and which part of each road each postcode refers to (some roads have several postcodes)

Useful when I worked for Royal Mail, now - not so much!

MawB2

Oh how I wish I could do that piercing whistle!

DD's piercing whistle rattles your ear drums. Not at all ladylike
I can't do it, neither can her father!

Procrastination! I'm really good at it but I'll probably leave off practising until tomorrow.

I amazed my grandson when he asked me to shoot baskets with him, every ball went in and he asked "Grandma, how did you do that" and then I told him my secret - I used to be a goal shooter and obviously still am!! I have a pretty good aim at throwing unbreakable things into my too high to reach top cupboards too and they actually stay there.

I'm quite good at languages. I can get by quite happily in Spanish, Greek (but not write it!) & French.
I am also quite a good cake/bread baker (used to teach it).
I can remember both my Grandma's phone nos. from when I was a small child & our own. Wish I could remember phone nos. now!

I can bite my toe nails. Literally.

I can also wrap my leg behind my neck

I don't indulge in these things very often. Just occasionally to see if I can still do it. Without an audience of course

My youngest daughter can lick her elbow

As you can see my family have been blessed with amazing gifts

Well, it depends what you'd consider useless, I suppose. I have an excellent memory for songs and song lyrics from the 60s and 70s. My family are often amazed that almost any popular/hit song they come up with from that era, I can just sing all or at least a fair bit of it, straight off. I've been called a "walking jukebox". I can also remember poetry very well, even poems I learned at school. I can remember conversations almost verbatim too. (Can't remember places or landmarks well though. I easily get lost inside buildings and I have a really terrible sense of direction.)

I too could bend it like Beckham when I was younger only to find it is now called Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and comes with lots of problems. I have had to have two knee replacements, my digestion doesn't work well and my posture is having trouble keeping me upright. I do recommend you get diagnosed and go to a really good physio to save any further damage in the future. Good luck! As for useless skills......squirt water through the gap in my front teeth, my kids loved it!

I can do a useless foreign accent? What for? Haven't a clue - useless!

I can read Morse code and output the result to a typewriter. Totally useless skill these days although it took me years to develop the skill it to a decent speed (25 words per minute minimum)

Davida 1968 - I can also remember my mother's Co-op Divi number - I now use it as part of my passwords as it's something no one else could ever guess.

I'm a very good knitter. I can write italics as we were taught in school. I can still play the recorder. I am able to do fine embroidery, although that skill is outdated. I can find gems in charity shops amongst all the rubbish.

Many, many years ago I had Tickets to use a JCB Site Master, a JCB 914 and a Dumper Truck now long expired so totally useless :-)

Not totally useless but not often used. I can mix colours such as paint and nail varnish.

For example, last week DH (after 2 years) wallpapered a wall in the refitted kitchen, so far so good. Then he wiped a seam so hard he pulled a small amount of paper off.

The paper is a burnt orange with cream small lines making it look like Hessian.

After much stamping and swearing (he's not normally given to swearing) a storm off round the block, I'd sorted it. When he came back he couldn't find the damage.

Thankfully I have a good supply of artist paints and brushes to choose from. Once I'd got the back ground done getting the detail was easy and having off cuts to test colour mixes made the job easier.

The Nail Varnish mixing has even impressed the young lady who does my nails. I'll get a manicure and a couple of days later I have been known to tile floors or fit a kitchen so I can mess my nails up and then have to go for days unless I repair them. I should just have a colour I know I have but where's the fun in that :-) :-)

I wish I was better at darning. I can get by but I'm not so good I'd have a go at anything really delicate. I did surprise DD when I knitted some things for DGD, my kids didn't know I could knit :-)

I can sing Adeste Fideles (in Latin)
Well, sing could be a euphemism ?

And recite lesser known poems that no-one else has heard of (so no-one realises if I get a bit wrong).

Procrastination, prevarication, prone to daydreaming.

dolphindaisy

Davida 1968 - I can also remember my mother's Co-op Divi number - I now use it as part of my passwords as it's something no one else could ever guess.

I can remember old numbers too, my Mum's Co-op divi, old car numbers, dates.
They do come in useful, don't they!