I’d like some advice about helping my distressed friend.

CleoPanda

Oh my, it makes my blood run cold when I see some of the selfish comments on here such as we will all be together no matter what!!!
Multiply this by thousands across the country and it’s clear that the virus will spread hugely leading to complete lockdown.
Clearly these people have not had the virus or lost someone through it. No thought about anyone other than their own gratification.
Sorry about the rant but thinking you can do whatever you want or treat Christmas as if it’s a virus free holiday is lunacy.
Having been very ill, believe me, you do not want it or want to spread it.
None of us are more special or deserving than everyone else, yet so many people think they’re the exemption.

Totally agree CleoPanda.

Which is probably safer?

Six single individuals choosing to spend Christmas together from a variety of settings and circumstances.

A couple who happen to have 3 young children. They would have to choose one GP or to have neither.

I would suggest the following:
1. Organise a lovely day alone with special treats from her favourite food store.
2. Volunteer at a local Salvation Army or homeless organisation which is offering help at Christmas
3. Go on an organised coach trip to a hotel fir the festive break,
4, Invite another single person to spend the day with her, plan a walk, pack a picnic plus Prosecco etc

Then later, have a day with the friends who were not available

It can be a lonely time even in normal circumstances but we have to be inventive and creative to cope with what is being thrown at us. Where is she based?

BlueBelle, you're on fire. Keep going. Terrific.

Not everybody loves Christmas. I hate it, the hype, the expectations, not the nature of the day. Use some radical acceptance and let's just get on with it. It's simply not the end of the world, now is it ?

I can’t honestly understand people. Christmas is but one day. Those who are worrying about a day 3months ahead when we don’t know what tomorrow or next week will bring. Nothing in life is guaranteed and every day is a bonus when folk are living with untreatable cancer etc. Can’t be sympathetic about something which may not happen.

Is your friend active online? If so there are women's groups for over 50s who will probably host special events. If you would like to know more I can provide details by pm.

Sorry sorry sorry, but NO.
A lot of us are going to be alone for Christmas.
We are at war with a virus - obey the emergency rules and stop being selfish - it's only ONE day for goodness sake! Are we all children because we're behaving like it!
If everyone behaved in a selfish way we may as well abandon all these precautions and carry on as though covid was indeed 'just a bad cold'.
I predict another spike after the New Year if people are encouraged to mix.

Indigoblue

And still the government won't close our borders?

What difference would that make?

One of the singles holiday companies I keep half an eye on have a socially-distanced-rule-of-6 Christmas trip on offer - would this be something that appeals? It would probably be Go Adventures.

It might not come to it. Things may be different by then. Don’t worry about it until nearer the time. Three months to go yet.

There will be thousands of people in the same situation - 'doesn't make it any happier, but I've already decided to play the optimist and say that I will now have at least three Christmas days, and enjoy presents and a special lunch with my AC and other members of the family over perhaps a couple of weeks. As things are, we may not even have one of our AC with us on Christmas Day, as the other in laws are naturally wanting to see them and each year we alternate visits on Christmas and Boxing Day. As you have said that you will see her on another day of the holiday, you can have a 'Christmas Day' with your friend whenever you choose - decorations, turkey, presents - all available to enjoy whenever you want. She can also do this with other members of her family.

And still the government won't close our borders?

aonk - first of all, you are indeed a good friend to think of how to help. Secondly, it is very true that hundreds of thousands of people are regularly alone at Christmastime and it's only a couple of days and people do have to 'get through it'. However, as a bereavement counsellor I know that especially the first time that Christmas occurs without a loved one, or in new circumstances, it is really important to 'do' something to ease the emotional pain and loneliness so here's my suggestion which I know has worked for others. Marking and planning the day(s) is a good idea rather than trying to imagine they are not happening. Introducing activities that wouldn't normally be part of the Christmas/Boxing Day routine is another good idea because of the newness to the atmosphere those activities bring. In doing this they help prevent reflections on what happened on previous Christmas/Boxing Days. So I would sit with your friend and plan out two days with her using a definite time sheet so she has a programme of interaction to look forward to. Timetable in that a Christmas Day Church service (if she enjoys carols), some 15-minute, and maybe half-hour telephone conversations with family and friends, all arranged so that those people know their commitments, organise a delivery of afternoon tea from one of the many online bakeries to coincide with a film of her choice on TV, or a live-streamed event from a theatre, Royal Opera House or whatever (there is so much free entertainment online these days), arrange to meet her for a socially-distanced walk in a park which nobody can stop you from doing, and give her a nice present she can open. It's not difficult to organise a full two-day programme and I know this helps to get people through solitary Christmas Days. And importantly, call her yourself for two minutes before you turn in for the night. Good luck.

Maybe your friend could reframe this in her mind. As hard as it is, she does have a family who would normally want her at Christmas and there will be many other years to celebrate with them. There are people out there with health issues that mean they won't get that chance. People in Care Homes and hospital won't be allowed visitors if the rules stay the same. There are many grans on here who are estranged from their families which is just heart breaking.
One of the things your friend could do is to have a Zoom style time with them. Maybe when they sit down to dinner or whilst they are all opening their presents. It isn't exactly the same but it is a way of being included.

Aonk
You must be a really kind person.
I have just read in today's newspaper about people who are using crowd funding methods to try to raise money for treatment for cancer which has been withheld because of Covid..
They are the people I feel sorry for.
Your friend is depressed because she will be alone for one day.
I honestly think I would tell her(assuming she is not physically ill herself) to count her blessings.

The gov.uk website - Covid support bubble information - states that “if you’re in a single adult household you can form a support bubble with another household of any size that is not part of a support bubble with anyone else if you live by yourself”. Sorry, I couldn’t put the link on, but it’s easy to find.

Aonk, You could let her form her 'support bubble' with you, and so join you for lunch if you are a good friend, couldnt you?Then she could perhaps have a day with another single friend on boxing day perhaps.?

BlueBelle

Stop stop stop its September anything at all could happen before Christmas
Never, never get obsessed so far forward about something you can do nothing about
Never never get obsessed too far back that you can’t change
Live each day best you can and Christmas, birthdays, weddings, and funerals will come and go and as long as you can make yourself some happiness and stay alive you re on to a winner

Such good senseBlueBelle !!!

Could you organise a Boxing Day lunch together in one of your homes then she has something to look forward to once Christmas Day has passed, or if she lives nearby plate up an extra Christmas Dinner and pop it round. I'm sure I've seen somewhere an organisation which brings people together but obvously it would have to adhere to social distancing. It's so difficult.

Stop stop stop its September anything at all could happen before Christmas
Never, never get obsessed so far forward about something you can do nothing about
Never never get obsessed too far back that you can’t change
Live each day best you can and Christmas, birthdays, weddings, and funerals will come and go and as long as you can make yourself some happiness and stay alive you re on to a winner

At end of the day Lockdown is trying to Save our lives and Loved Ones . Christmas is a couple of days and this lady is still alive and got people around her who love her . Hence the message on here . She will just have to accept it . I’m alone and age 73 been alone for a few years now no family either apart until a few weeks ago I had my (fur babies Chihuahua age 13 years old) one had to be put to sleep 19/08/2020 so this Xmas I won’t have him . But we are alive and so is this lady . Message here celebrating with loved ones if you lucky to have them can be done before and after Xmas plus she no doubt can use her phone on Xmas day .

* Meant household?

Also i dont think we will be doing the gift drop visits either! Ill just post them off to them.

I'm in my 70s too, and have spent the last 2 Christmases alone for reasons I won't go into. No falling outs or anyone to blame - I made the decision for the best of intentions and will opt to spend this next one alone too. I tell myself sternly that I can do just what I want, watch whatever TV I want, indulge myself in food that's mostly been semi prepared and maybe watch DVDs bought for the occasion.
( Still haven't watched the two I bought last Christmas!)
It can be done. It's just 24 hours.