Simple tips to make life easy

It is so important for the carer to get away so if family are not too far away, or willing friends, rope them in. Even a day trip on a bus (my local excursion company is still doing lovely day trips, socially distanced) can work wonders, it somehow seems longer than a day.
Also have a supply of Parsley Box meals available. They do not need freezing as they are vacuum sealed and just go in the cupboard for an emergency and last for months.

GirlyGran

I know it can be a touch more expensive but when I am pushed for time I use packets of ready chopped onions and carrots.

I always keep frozen chopped onions in the freezer and buy non peel carrots.

Lots of our participants didn't know about them as they avoided the freezer aisles apart from peas and chips.

Frozen mashed potatoes are excellent, and literally just need to be microwaved as is.

The frozen jacket potatoes are good, too.

Some men don't realise they can freeze extra food so telling them how to do that might be a good idea.

My big tip is not to be afraid to say you can't cope. My sister did just that when my Mam was still in hospital, it opened more doors for them both as the got more help and the advice was to put Mam in a care home and nobody pushed too hard for that not to happen.

Music they remember is important, photos too, if femail then nail painting is often enjoyed as well as a hand or foot massage fir men and women. Touch is important and this relaxes the person with Alzheimer’s , and is a nice way to spend quality time together.
Day care too gives the carer a break, and a different environment fir the person with Alzheimer’s, The Alzheimer’s Society have these in most areas focusing and understanding people with Alzheimers, which would give the carer a break. Sometimes the person with Alzheimers would resist but as a social Worker I used encouragement saying try it, they would have new people to chat with, different things to do, with a nice lunch out, and the carer would have a bit of time to themselves. Mostly they agreed and ended up enjoying the break.
Most of all don’t turn down offers of help. Time fir yourself is Important and necessary when you are confident your loved one is safe.

I live on my own and what I do from time to time is buy eg a pack of Thai chicken curry which as the ingredients included and has to be boiled/stir-fried. I usually add eg mushrooms and extra vegetables to eke it out so I have a dish the night of cooking, the next, only to be reheated and I usually have two portions left which I can freeze for times when I cannot be bothered cooking and I only have to add rice and heat the meal in the microwave. My method is also cost-effective.

And if you (all parties) don't have a lasting power of attorney, please do it today. As long as you have a good relationship with your family do it online (free) and make sure you register it (costs about £70)

What is AA please?

Attendance Allowance. It is a none means tested allowance paid to someone who needs help with daily life. There are two levels.

If you think you, or someone else, might be eligible then contact CAB or AgeUk for advice. They will help you fill in the form.

PLEASE dont underplayed the help you give - laying out clothes, supervising washing, helping with teeth cleaning etc etc.

If the person also has an Alzheimer's diagnosis then there is a reduction in council tax that can be applied for.

We do a whole session on benefits and POAs.

As a DN I advised people to accept any help that was offered and to do their level best to get out for an afternoon each week and if necessary pay someone to come in and sit with the other person.

Never argue with someone with dementia. If they say something obviously wrong, just smile and gently change the subject. My friend used to have arguments with her mother who had dementia.
I don't know if they still have them but the best thing anyone did for me was when the GP put us in touch with an EMI (elderly mentally ill) nurse.
If I didn't know what to do, I would phone him. One day my mother destroyed her kettle and then managed to find an old electric kettle and put that on the gas!
I phoned the nurse and he said 'Get British Gas to come and turn off her cooker and do it NOW'. It is such a cruel thing to do that if he had not been firm with me, I couldn't have done it.

A two-way baby alarm/walkie talkie is useful

The advice we give is to enter their world dont try to bring them into yours.

But it is blinking hard!

Frozen veg of any kind - just as good as fresh and less waste as you just cook the amount you need.
Perhaps invest in a microwave for quick tasks - eg. warming milk,defrosting, etc.
The little boxes of latte/capuccino/frothy style coffees are handy to have in.
Definitely a non-slip bath mat for inside the tub.
(I'm currently trying to sort some handy tips for my elderly parents).

One of the best things I bought for my shower after the bath was removed because there was insufficient space for both was to buy a stool for the shower. I can sit down and wash my hair and wash the vast majority of my body also. Easy to move and clean also.

This is better than a fixed seat to a wall which can work its way loose after a while, taking tiles with it.

My Dad struggled to look after Mum on his own for far longer than was good for him.
It took a fall and a hospital admission, and a supportive social worker who insisted, before he'd agree to have a carer to help.
Even if it just gave him an hour to eat his breakfast and make a shopping list in peace it was a great help.
I suggested quality ready meals and prepared veg but he was very resistant: I don't think he wanted to accept the situation and the deterioration at all.
We helped when we could but they were four hours away from us so it wasn't very frequent unfortunately.

Ready made custard in packs or tins, lovely with tinned pitted prunes or tinned peaches. Tinned rice pudding, jelly and blancmange, yoghurt - all nice treats easy to prepare and easy to swallow.

The little individual jelly pots are handy to have, and don't have to be kept in the fridge.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Are you in the UK, jillybird, if so, have you had contact with the Alzheimer's Society? They are really helpful and the CrISP courses are really good - she said modestly!! There is also the Talking Point forum which is used by Carers (and some people living with dementia) and a source of support and information.

for mild, intermittent or occasional continence issues, puppy training pads are very useful and much cheaper. good for back up, belt and braces approach.
you can get a big pack of them in poundstretcher.
can be put on car seats, wheelchairs or on the bed.
they are thin, so not very absorbent, but a useful back up. by the way do not use plastic/rubber ie impervious pants, the moisture has to go somewhere and it will double back into the skin, can cause damage.

I recommend this book: www.waterstones.com/book/contented-dementia/oliver-james/9780091901813
(Other books and booksellers are available.)

Contact the free of charge Admiral Nurse Dementia Helpline for information, support and advice on all dementia related issues. They are highly qualified, experienced and expert nurses in the dementia field. Open seven days a week, Mon to Fri, 09.00-21.00hrs and Sat/Sun 09.00 -17.00hrs.
Tel: 0800 888 6678
They are very busy and not always able to answer but if you leave a message they will get back to you within a short time

unfortunately the Admiral nurses do not operate in all areas.
seek advice and help from community continence service asap. products though basic are free on nhs.
i knew someone who would not accept that her mother needed pads. she would sit her in reclining chair wearing plastic pants over ordinary ones, then take her to the toilet when she could visit. i tried to urge pads, but she saw it as defeat i think. i said she could still use the toilet, but wear the pads as back up.
the mother developed deep sores on the side of her hip and top of leg, which never healed.

A simple tip that not everyone uses is to have a meal plan for a week/ fortnight. It doesn’t take long when you’re used to it and means one less thing to have to think about each day. Sorry if this is too simple!