Simple tips to make life easy

One of the best things I bought for my shower after the bath was removed because there was insufficient space for both was to buy a stool for the shower. I can sit down and wash my hair and wash the vast majority of my body also. Easy to move and clean also.

This is better than a fixed seat to a wall which can work its way loose after a while, taking tiles with it.

Frozen veg of any kind - just as good as fresh and less waste as you just cook the amount you need.
Perhaps invest in a microwave for quick tasks - eg. warming milk,defrosting, etc.
The little boxes of latte/capuccino/frothy style coffees are handy to have in.
Definitely a non-slip bath mat for inside the tub.
(I'm currently trying to sort some handy tips for my elderly parents).

The advice we give is to enter their world dont try to bring them into yours.

But it is blinking hard!

A two-way baby alarm/walkie talkie is useful

Never argue with someone with dementia. If they say something obviously wrong, just smile and gently change the subject. My friend used to have arguments with her mother who had dementia.
I don't know if they still have them but the best thing anyone did for me was when the GP put us in touch with an EMI (elderly mentally ill) nurse.
If I didn't know what to do, I would phone him. One day my mother destroyed her kettle and then managed to find an old electric kettle and put that on the gas!
I phoned the nurse and he said 'Get British Gas to come and turn off her cooker and do it NOW'. It is such a cruel thing to do that if he had not been firm with me, I couldn't have done it.

As a DN I advised people to accept any help that was offered and to do their level best to get out for an afternoon each week and if necessary pay someone to come in and sit with the other person.

Attendance Allowance. It is a none means tested allowance paid to someone who needs help with daily life. There are two levels.

If you think you, or someone else, might be eligible then contact CAB or AgeUk for advice. They will help you fill in the form.

PLEASE dont underplayed the help you give - laying out clothes, supervising washing, helping with teeth cleaning etc etc.

If the person also has an Alzheimer's diagnosis then there is a reduction in council tax that can be applied for.

We do a whole session on benefits and POAs.

What is AA please?

And if you (all parties) don't have a lasting power of attorney, please do it today. As long as you have a good relationship with your family do it online (free) and make sure you register it (costs about £70)

I live on my own and what I do from time to time is buy eg a pack of Thai chicken curry which as the ingredients included and has to be boiled/stir-fried. I usually add eg mushrooms and extra vegetables to eke it out so I have a dish the night of cooking, the next, only to be reheated and I usually have two portions left which I can freeze for times when I cannot be bothered cooking and I only have to add rice and heat the meal in the microwave. My method is also cost-effective.

Music they remember is important, photos too, if femail then nail painting is often enjoyed as well as a hand or foot massage fir men and women. Touch is important and this relaxes the person with Alzheimer’s , and is a nice way to spend quality time together.
Day care too gives the carer a break, and a different environment fir the person with Alzheimer’s, The Alzheimer’s Society have these in most areas focusing and understanding people with Alzheimers, which would give the carer a break. Sometimes the person with Alzheimers would resist but as a social Worker I used encouragement saying try it, they would have new people to chat with, different things to do, with a nice lunch out, and the carer would have a bit of time to themselves. Mostly they agreed and ended up enjoying the break.
Most of all don’t turn down offers of help. Time fir yourself is Important and necessary when you are confident your loved one is safe.

Some men don't realise they can freeze extra food so telling them how to do that might be a good idea.

My big tip is not to be afraid to say you can't cope. My sister did just that when my Mam was still in hospital, it opened more doors for them both as the got more help and the advice was to put Mam in a care home and nobody pushed too hard for that not to happen.

Frozen mashed potatoes are excellent, and literally just need to be microwaved as is.

The frozen jacket potatoes are good, too.

GirlyGran

I know it can be a touch more expensive but when I am pushed for time I use packets of ready chopped onions and carrots.

I always keep frozen chopped onions in the freezer and buy non peel carrots.

Lots of our participants didn't know about them as they avoided the freezer aisles apart from peas and chips.

It is so important for the carer to get away so if family are not too far away, or willing friends, rope them in. Even a day trip on a bus (my local excursion company is still doing lovely day trips, socially distanced) can work wonders, it somehow seems longer than a day.
Also have a supply of Parsley Box meals available. They do not need freezing as they are vacuum sealed and just go in the cupboard for an emergency and last for months.

I would recommend that careers have the post redirected to their own home. That way they can deal with things immediately . They won’t have to rely on the haphazard filing system of their relative. Also they can check that there is no financial abuse. My stepfather was paying a ridiculous amount for insurance for things he no longer owned.

I also advise trying to get an advocate to intercede when the relative is being stubborn. Quite often people take more notice of someone outside the family.

I found that favourite music playing in the background most of the day was much enjoyed.

The Beatles, Johnny Cash, Simon and Garfunkel in our case.

Not the television or the radio. Too stressful trying to work out what the voices were saying. But familiar words and tunes. Lovely.

I know it can be a touch more expensive but when I am pushed for time I use packets of ready chopped onions and carrots.

www.everynappy.co.uk/blog/what-is-a-kylie-sheet-kylie-bed-pads-explained

What are Kylie Sheets?

My cousin looked after her father for some years. He had Alzheimer's. She found the most helpful thing was having someone coming in once a week to sit with her father so she could have an afternoon to herself.

An afterthought.
If finance is not a problem buy incontinence wear instead of the ones provided free, they did not work for us.
Good quality pull-ups which tear down each side for removal save a lot of hassle and give a tiny bit of dignity for the wearer.

I had forgotten the Kylie sheets, they are indeed a life/ laundry saver.
Tell them ironing is time wasted.
I bought my H several pairs of jogging tops and bottoms from M&S.
In the washer after he went to bed, over the landing overnight and he had lots of clean clothes for the day to come.

Something maybe not necessary for others but one of my best purchases was a reclining chair and foot stool.
My H was very comfortable and would doze off, that would be my time to either do a few chores or put my own feet up.
As I said not applicable for many but invaluable to me.

I too had carers come in for the DHs last month they would arrive and tell me to disappear for an hour. I would take a walk and stop at the cafe or McDonalds for a cappuccino and watch the world go by for a while and go back feeling better. Always have a little me time.

Things I learned too late ?

Have a waterproof sheet on the bed.

The bedside water (for you and them) in a screw top sports drink bottle

A battery operated bedside light not a plug in one

Foam pillows you can wash and dry not feather ones

Those children's bowls with a non slip base for porridge or other breakfast cereal.

A washable rug over the carpet beside the bed.

You see where this is going?

I can look back on it now more phlegmatically.

Can I also recommend that wonderful book

The Selfish Pigs Guide to Caring