Feeling sad

I have 3 grandchildren in Spain who I haven’t seen since February this year. The older two have been great with zoom calls etc. They are used to online schooling but have lost interest in this zoom call with grandma. Was very worried that my littlest would forget how close he was when I was last there. However I’m now getting blown kisses online now. It’s a difficult situation for all of us and I sympathise.

Why won’t he sleep over? , because much as he loves you he quite naturally wants to be at home, please don’t dwell on it, the time will come when you will see more of him again, Twice a week is brilliant & much more than some folks have. as Grandparents we have to go with the flow & treasure all the contact & good times that we do have . best Wishes.

I only just joined but I’m I joining now, all I can say is thank you to some and to the unkind people your lives must be so empty that you feel you have to insult someone you don’t know

I’m certainly not jealous of my son how dare you assume that. I’m sad because he is growing up and away from me as all children do.
Thank you everyone else for your comments

Yes I’ve been feeling very low about it, I knew he would eventually want to do his own thing but I didn’t realise it would happen so soon. Bless him he said to me I still love you granny but I only want visits now. ?

Children grow and their needs change.

It is not healthy to have so many expectations on a child.
It is like you are sad and jealous your gc prefers his dad over you.
Children will pick their full time caregivers over anybody else.

My kids, around same ages as your gc, cry when they are having fun, doesnt matter whom they are with.
They are ok in a few minutes afterwards as if they never cried in the first place.

My 9y/o GS feels he must distance from me after a stern lecture at school on social distancing. One example given was younger people transmitting the virus to the elderly. We have decided to go along with this fear and let him know we love him if he is 1 or 1000 feet away. Just this week he has started calling us again to chat. Of course we are sad, but know in time his confidence will return. Incidentally, he does this with anyone bigger than himself.

We live on the edge of Greater Manchester. My husband and I have had to choose between keeping in contact with my 89 year old Mum (in our bubble) or childminding our grandson. Luckily our daughter's in-laws are available for childminding, but it means that we can only meet our grandson occasionally somewhere outdoors at a distance.

"There is definitely a whiff of the North South divide in some of the decisions bring made."

Just watching BBC news - how on earth has a city the size of London not been affected by a large number of positive Covid cases?

Helen369

The exact same thing is happening with our 5 year old granddaughter but it’s nothing to do with lockdown. She will happily spend the entire day with us, have her tea and bath but the minute she gets into bed she gets upset and wants her Mummy. We inevitably end up sitting by the side of her bed until she falls asleep. It’s difficult as we want to give our daughter a break sometimes but I think we just have to be patient until she grows out of it.

i find this disturbing.
why force a 5 year old to be somewhere that causes her such distress. unless it was a case of absolute necessity, eg illness of parents, which it is not.
i understand that you mean well, but it seems wrong to me.

Yes. This is exactly what I've experienced. He won't even get in the car with me. I'm a very sad Naninka.

DGD1 stayed with us a lot when of pre-secondary age (used to burst out of the car demanding to know “where are my things?”). I treasure the memories and the photographs and although she is almost eighteen she still rings up occasionally for a chat. The bonds you form in early life will endure and you can be glad to know that you have done a good job as a grandparent in supporting parents to do their job well.

completely normal

I said talking to 'my' mum when I meant I was talking to my daughter (grandson's mum).

I can't get my grandson to speak to me on the phone when I've been talking to my mum. He's always too busy. It's a bit upsetting but I'm probably very boring to a ten-year old boy.

Yes, apologies if I came across as ‘unkind’. When I first read the OP it was like a knife to my heart.

I miss my grandson like mad, but can empathise with the OP. I thought Vicky was unnecessarily unkind. We can all start threads of our own if we wish. No need to be cruel to someone who has posted about something upsetting them.

Ok, sorry, I don't want to derail this.
Please don't challenge me to an argument.

‘You have yours twice a week for Pete’s sake.
I find your post very insensitive in these times’

If that’s not unkind, I’d like to know what would pass for unkind iyo Fanny?

I don't think that Vicky was being unkind, I really don't.
Quite the opposite, I think that she was showing a lot of empathy.

vickymeldrew, just because someone has it worse doesn’t mean we can’t be upset about what’s going on in our lives. How silly to think that.

That aside, I read this more as looking for advice on how to help vs a “poor old me” thread

vicky that’s really really unkind of you. It’s really important to understand the relativity of the lives we all live and the experiences we have during the pandemic - in fact generally. I think many of us try to put our feelings into perspective but there are times when the hurt or pain make that impossible. It’s simply not a solution though to tell someone to just be grateful for what they have when they are experiencing a loss of some kind or a diminution as they see it in a relationship.

People have been very kind to you in their responses.
This site has been full of grans totally bereft and upset by not seeing their grandchildren at all due to closed borders and vast distances.
You have yours twice a week for Pete’s sake.
I find your post very insensitive in these times.

I have 6 grandchildren aged from 7- 21 and each in their turn has loved spending time with us and had loads of sleepovers. The three eldest no longer do the sleepovers, but the 3 younger ones do. It's the natural way of things. Look forward to spending the fun hours with him and don't let yourself get stressed about the sleepover. Children will pick up on this. He's very young at 4 to have this sort of pressure on him, You should be delighted that he and his dad have such a close relationship. Many grandparents would swop places with you.

Nannan2

Thats because youre where most of the bloody politicians & royals are- so whilst ever this rule for south&SE stands, they can all do mostly what they please.Further north we cannot, wether we've been 'good' or not!

There is definitely a whiff of the North South divide in some of the decisions bring made I absolutely agree

I suppose bedtime is the time of closeness, stories and cuddles from Mum and Dad, so no wonder they miss them most then. You can give the stories and cuddles but thank goodness, they do miss their parents. Much worse, I think, if they don't miss parents or their home at all.