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Is it really that bad to say I don't like prospective baby names?

(155 Posts)
NanAng Fri 16-Oct-20 14:43:53

I'm new to the forum, first grandchild on the way but i'm really sressed out about prospective girls names that are being mentioned. Does anyone else feel this way?

ClareAB Sat 17-Oct-20 12:35:01

You're being daft. It is absolutely nothing to do with you what your grandchild is called. Whatever the name, your grandchild will grow into it and the name will bring a smile to your face when you think of your grandchild.
There are far more important things to get your knickers in a twist about such as health and well-being of the parents and child. They are the ones who are having the child and all the responsibility of raising it. Back off and enjoy being a Grandparent.

Catlover123 Sat 17-Oct-20 12:33:20

NanAng I must be the only one gagging to know what the name is? are you going to reveal? please do!
I think the same as most on here that you should relax and go with the flow, although you do have my sympathy as I would find it hard too. Perhaps they will change their mind when the baby is born? if not you will just have to accept it and hope that maybe they have a nickname that's not so bad.

ReadyMeals Sat 17-Oct-20 11:59:05

It's too late to say anything after the baby is born, and you need to pretend to be delighted. I did comment on one unborn grandson's planned name (to my daughter, privately, not his father) but I helped her to think of other names of a similar ambience many of which were not as eye-rollingly cliched as the one originally thought of smile

kazziecookie Sat 17-Oct-20 11:52:24

My DD is due to have a baby next month. She has told me I am having a grandson but doesn’t want to tell me the name she has already chosen. I have a feeling knowing my DD that it will be unusual but I am just so happy for her and I am sure whatever his name I will love him. It is just so sad that I live in the U.K. and she lives in Australia, so have no idea when I will get to meet him.
At least it is a boy so she won’t pass on my name, as I am a Karen and it is not a good name to have right now.

luluaugust Sat 17-Oct-20 11:40:28

I am always amused that so many small girls seem to have the same names as my grandmother's friends. One of my daughters has a slightly unusual name but I reckoned it always got her a job interview, the other daughter had her name chosen by her dad and it was only years later I realised it was a boys name in a different country. You will get so used to the name given that you won't even think about it after a short while. All the GC have names I wouldn't have thought of.

Nanatoone Sat 17-Oct-20 11:38:26

My daughter is a teacher and she has a girl called Vulva (it’s spelt slightly differently but this is how it sounds) and a boy called gallbag (both families from abroad). Can you even imagine?

Mercure Sat 17-Oct-20 11:37:26

I don't know why but there are two boys names which I really, really don't like for some obscure reason. I don't know why but they have always annoyed me. My sons ex girlfriend gave birth to a boy child 10 years ago. No guesses for what they named the poor child! No, my son was never ever aware that I didn't like that name so it wasn't done through spite but isn't it ironic? I never said a word, none of my business ... but I feel so sorry for the poor child being lumbered with that name..

Ramblingrose22 Sat 17-Oct-20 11:37:18

NanAng - why are you stressed out?

How will your life be changed for the worse if your new GC had a name that you hate?

crazygranny Sat 17-Oct-20 11:34:25

Just keep quiet. Whatever their given names they will probably be nicknamed something quite different!

Chardy Sat 17-Oct-20 11:19:38

As a teacher who taught hundreds of kids, you look at the list of first names in September...
But once those names become people, you forget that you thought their name was 'odd'.

bluebirdwsm Sat 17-Oct-20 11:12:22

Say nothing. You will get used to the name in time and it is not your child anyway. All 4 of my grandchildren have names which suit them well. They will not forget it if you show your disapproval. Develop a nickname for her/him if you really have to...Flower/Pickle/Angel/Junior...

When my eldest son was born my MIL kicked off about his middle name which upset us [lucky she accepted his fist name!]. It is a perfectly normal bible name and now my son gave it to his own son as his middle name.

coastiepostie Sat 17-Oct-20 11:07:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ladyleftfieldlover Sat 17-Oct-20 11:03:03

Don’t say a word! My beautiful granddaughter has a boy’s name - it may have been popular as a girl’s name in the 1930s. Her other two names are rather different too!

grandtanteJE65 Sat 17-Oct-20 11:00:11

If the name or the order of the child's given names and surname are capable of a rude interpretation then point this out kindly. I knew someone who was very grateful to the minister who baptised him for suggesting his parents reversed the order of his names, as otherwise his initials would have been F.A.R.T.

Otherwise don't get involved.

If your grandchild later on finds his/her name a burden, he or she can change it, or insist on a conventional spelling.

I wouldn't risk spoiling this new relationship by commenting adversly on the parents' choice.

JanetWestYorks Sat 17-Oct-20 10:59:12

My daughter chose the name of her daughter before she even became pregnant! I wasn’t sure at first but when she arrived she fits her name perfectly. On the name lists published there are no others (they list if more than 2 are given that name in any one year). It is a proper name but French and as my daughter and SiL got married in France and love all things French it fits perfectly. Will be interesting when she starts school next year though. When we tell people her name they either think it is very unusual or know exactly where it comes from.

winterwhite Sat 17-Oct-20 10:59:09

On the other hand, the parents may well actively want your opinion. A bland 'that's nice, dear' can be a bit of a dampener.

Looking back, our own parents' approval of the names we chose for our 3 DD was quite important to us and we'd prob have switched from something they disliked.

Juicylucy Sat 17-Oct-20 10:56:55

I don’t understand how it’s upsetting you so much, surely as long as the baby is healthy and loved that’s what is important. Please don’t make this about you being embarrassed telling your friends etc what your new grandchild is called, there are many unusual names in the classrooms of today. Once baby is here the name will seem irrelevant. Just smile and say nothing not even trying to steer her another way.

Grandma70s Sat 17-Oct-20 10:50:41

I feel very strongly about names. Although ultimately it is the parents’ choice, I don’t agree it’s nobody’s business but theirs. There is the wider family to consider. It matters a lot. You don’t want to feel ashamed of your grandchild’s name, as my brother is! My sister-in-law said “I cringe every time I say it”.

I was very nervous before my grandchildren were named. Some of the names under discussion were pretty awful. Thank heavens they finished up with good, unembarrassing names.

Frankie51 Sat 17-Oct-20 10:48:38

Times have changed Names I find pretentious or odd are fashionable now. Your grandchild will not be the odd one out if they have a strange name. Keep quiet, it's the parents decision. You can always use a shortened version if you really hate it. My friends daughter called her son Malachi, which my friend hates, but everyone calls him Kai which sounds quite good.

Aepgirl Sat 17-Oct-20 10:43:57

Nanyang, it’s their baby, not yours, so don’t interfere. You’ll probably end up having a pet name for the child that only grandma uses. Just enjoy the child.

Ramblinggran Sat 17-Oct-20 10:42:11

Hold your peace! It’s the parents choice. You will love the child whatever the name.

Bramblebee Sat 17-Oct-20 10:42:06

I remember before first grandchild was born being curious about the names they had chosen, they had elected not to know if boy/ girl. When delivery time came after many complications and we thought we might loose our wonderful daughter we realised that a name is of very little consequence as long as mum and baby are well. In fact the name they chose would suit a boy or a girl and we love her dearly, we would have love her whatever.

GreenGran78 Sat 17-Oct-20 10:38:36

I remember a rather Mrs. Bouquet neighbour who’s daughter was named Gloria. All the children called her Glue!
My friend was aghast when her new GD was named Pebbles. ‘Pebbs’ is now a lawyer.
I was flabbergasted when my DS and DIL named their new son after the road where I live! Both names are genuine names, but it seemed so odd. Now I love the tribute they made to their heritage.
My DD and her Peruvian DH only agreed on names three weeks after my GD arrived. They kept translating names back and forth between English and Spanish, and he didn’t want a duplicate of one of his numerous family names. She was finally named Sophia Milana, which I like.
Through all my GC’s naming I have firmly kept quiet, unless asked for an opinion, which I have diplomatically given. Even disliked names become part of the child, after a while, and you just accept it, and even grow to like what they are called.
The last thing you should do is interfere.

Buffy Sat 17-Oct-20 10:38:31

Their baby, their choice. You’ll get used to it.

Dressagediva123 Sat 17-Oct-20 10:38:10

I think you are very judgemental- different generation - different likes and dislikes. You will get used to what ever name they choose and live the child I’m sure