Is it really that bad to say I don't like prospective baby names?

A word of warning about a first grandchild, as when I saw mine for the first time , I fell overwhelmingly in love and went into over drive buying and suggesting.
However, it was a daughter not a daughter in law. You are not your daughter in laws Mother, and however much you think you are being helpful by suggesting.....DONT.
At least my Daughter could tell me candidly when she disagreed with me...
DILs can be much more circumspect. You can end up losing your GCs. There is plenty on Gransnet highlighting the problem.
Just think back to a situation where you were given advice by your MIL? Was it welcome ?
Don’t speak and DONT suggest anything is my advice. Even if they want to call the baby Cowslip ....suck it up.

NanAng are they giving the child two unusual names? My husband has cousins whose father gave them all unusual names. One changed hers completely, one kept his and the third uses her second name which is conventional. Perhaps they could be persuaded to do this so that the child can chose as she gets older.

Having said that you -will- get used to it in time and the child won't know any different. Unusual 'made up' names seem to be the fashion, I know someone who called their daughter Ravienna, not a name I've ever come across

Thank you Tillybelle.

All I can say is thank heavens my Grandma didn't get her way otherwise I would have been called Minnie Nora

NanAng

I'm new to the forum, first grandchild on the way but i'm really sressed out about prospective girls names that are being mentioned. Does anyone else feel this way?

NanAng
my very first post was this very subject as I was so upset by the stupid name my GS had been given
I took the advice that it was not my business but the best advice i had was being told that in years to come it may be a quite normal name
I do feel for you tho' it can be really hard but i have accepted it now even tho' there is always a seconds hesitation whenever i say his name

Have to smile as my daughter called my grand daughter the same name as one of my former bosses who I barely tolerated. It wasn't the name but the association! However, fortunately the name which is very classic has a nice short form. Now about to have second grand daughter but daughter has gone silent on the name front, is it because she thinks I might say something?

ginny. So sorry. ???

Along with many here, I sympathise but must say do not upset your children. Just smile and go along with their ideas.

After all, how many of us can say we are pleased with the name(s) our parents chose for us? I certainly wasn't pleased as a child and have come to tolerate it now.

Similarly, when some of my grandchildren were named I was miffed especially as two held strong connotations of something not desirable in our generation, however my lovely grandchildren have banished those memories now and their names only make me happy as I think of them.

Above all, do not upset your children. I am sure when the baby arrives it will be so beautiful you will not mind what the name is!

When I was told what my daughter and partner were going to call their child if it was a boy I just blurted out, "No grandson of mine is going to be called ___". I didn't think first, it was just a gut reaction.

War was averted when the baby was born - a girl. And the name chosen was beautiful. Phew!

Very true, Ginny.

There is another option: not changing your name legally but use the one you like.

I have coworkers that in paper, go by one name and in practice, a total different one.
We all learn that very fast and it is no big deal

Example: named Maria but goes by Claudia.

A child can use or change their name if or when they become embarrassed by it.
As far as I am concerned, if my Dd has another baby after 3 late miscarriages, she can call it anything she wants and there will be no comments from me.

Britney or Rooney are not horrible name at all.

What was modern once is traditional now.

The nickname of Richard (a very traditional name) is Dick - don't get me started why that nickname is not acceptable now.

I cannot stand these modern names, and I feel that it can expose the child to bullying. I know of 2 children with awful names. One is called Britney and her brother is called Rooney. Give me traditional names. At least they will not be laughed at.

What names they choose is their business
My new GS has a name that has took me weeks to pronounce properly!!!!!!! And friends ask how is that pronounced!!!!
I just smile and call him a beautiful baby ?? To get round it, it will grow on me

I have to spell out my first name and my family name. My maiden name was simpler.

Quite happy with all my grandchildren’s names. I was asked which I preferred out of a few but none were too outlandish. For years DD2 said that she was going to call a child Spike but fortunately she seemed to forget that option.

The current thinking seems to be to take three letters from three names and put them together. The class will have others that have done the same.

HRVY on Strictly might well start a new trend!

Don’t say anything even if asked for your opinion at the most you could say “unusual name I guess it’s modern?”. Anything else and you won’t be very popular with your DIL!

I would hate for a child to spend the rest of its life having to spell out their name to everyone. I have an Italian name despite not being in any way Italian and even though it possibly the most common one used in UK, I’ve had to spell it out to 8/10 people.

Yes, of course.

I have unusual names for my boys and there are as many pluses as negatives. When they meet new people, it is always a conversation starter. Recently one of my boys was doing an internship over Zoom and he was tasked with finding someone to work with which was a bit awkward. Within seconds somebody asked him if he’d been on a summer hockey course about 3 years ago. It was his name that alerted the other lad and they were so pleased they knew each other so worked together. My boys could have great fun searching for souvenirs in gift shops when we went to museums, etc but I got to keep my money in my purse as nothing ever had their names on.
My mother railed against both names but they suit the boys so well even she had to admit she was glad I had chosen them.

Remember too that your GC can choose to change his/her name when older if they can't stand it!

I did not like (and still don't) like the name of my grand-daughter who is two now, but she is the most adorable girl having that name

Nothing to be said as not your child. Just bite your tongue and smile sweetly.

Jocork. Yes I have had a boy called Maverick he lived up to his name in class. I was rather surprised at Adolf but arrived from a war torn country not in Europe.

People nearly always pronounce my real name wrong and question the spelling

Both my sons have uncommon names, at the time they were extremely rare and even 30 and 40 years on they are very uncommon. I still like them and so do they, they liked being different and as we also have a very unusual surname they were always going to stand out. Neither is an underachiever or shy and reticent, quite the opposite actually. My Grandson also has an unusual name but will no doubt love it when he's older. Then again we are a very positive family and go our own way in most things. I on the other hand had a pretty normal common first name and always disliked it, couldn't be bothered to change it but still today at 66 think it's horrible.

I remember when we chose our son's name it was very unusual at the time, 34 years ago. Both mothers said they didn't like it but we just ignored them even though I was rather hurt as they were both very forthright ladies! We hadn't told them before he arrived what he would be called. Roll on to 27 years later when my son rang to say his son had been born. " And what is he called?"...I thought I'd misheard the reply...very avant garde & not at all my ideal choice. I bit my lip, smiled & said " how unusual". 7 years later, I can't imagine him called anything else, it suits him perfectly. His 2 year old brother also has an extremely unusual name but we've never commented - it's not our place to do so & I remember how hurt I was when our mothers were so unkind.