How Long

People say it gets better with time, but there is no rule. You may gradually have days where you start to feel a little better and they may become more frequent as time goes on. However, the grief can hit out of nowhere.
I lost my husband about 18 months ago.
I regularly go for a walk with a married friend whose husband isn't really very outgoing and so I tend to do things with her. This week we were joined by another married friend as we were walking not too far from where she lives. The talk turned to a cruise that both couples had booked in 2021. It turned out that several other couples whom I know were also going on the cruise. There was also talk of weekends away that the couples had taken or intended to take (I am in Queensland, just to clarify so this is possible at the moment). I suddenly realised that I would never be able to go away again for a weekend with my husband or go on holiday.
When I got home I just broke down and cried for the rest of the day. It's not easy and you have to just go with it rather than fight it. Be kind to yourself.

I think it’s important also not to turn your spouse into a sainted figure, which can become unhealthy and stop you moving on into acceptance. Without prejudice, remember the faults as well as the good things about the person. I know that sounds cruel, but I did that when I lost my mother and husband as one can be driven crazy with grief. It gives a perspective to think of them as a flawed human being with good and bad points and not an angel!

Bereavement is one of the hardest, if not the hardest things we have to bear. I lost my husband four years ago and although that might seem like an eternity to you at the moment, the unbelievable pain does lessen over that period and life can be very enjoyable. My heart goes out to anyone suffering a bereavement recently with Covid restrictions, what a double whammy. Getting out and about and being with people helped enormously. My grief was compounded by guilt and regrets, so if you don’t have those, that will help.
Yes, certain music still a problem, but I now find myself thinking of happier times, holidaying together etc.
Pierce Brosnan, when he lost his first wife said “There is a shadow over my heart”; nicely said.
I found poetry helped, also writing out my feelings in poetry and keeping a journal.
Daddima what lovely lines ?

I'm sorry you're hurting. Two months is nothing at all and so very fresh. It does get softer in time, though the hole is always there to some degree.

Daddima thank you for posting that, it's beautiful, poignant and has truth in it.

I lost my 19 year old son to suicide in 2008, and it sometimes still likes a sad weight that I carry.

I’m still struggling a bit since the Bodach died in January, and having had to shield hasn’t helped, as I haven’t been able to get used to doing things and going places on my own. This makes me fear that my grieving will take longer, as I’ll miss him more when we get back to normal, as I’ve got maybe too used to hiding away, if that makes sense.
Everybody is different, and grieves in different ways, so nobody can tell you how long things will take. There are still lots of pieces of music I can’t face listening to, clothes that I can’t bear to get rid of, but I’m in no hurry. Just take your own time, cry when you have to, enjoy the happy memories, and remember it will become bearable.

The Heavy Stone

My grief was a heavy stone,

rough and sharp.

Grasping to pick it up

My hands were cut.

Afraid to let go,

I carried it.

While I had my grief

you were not lost.

The rain of my tears

smoothed it.

The wind of my rage

weathered it,

making it round and small.

The cuts in my hands have healed.

Now in my palm it rests,

sometimes almost beautiful,

Sometimes almost you.

Very early days for you. You don’t get over it but you do get used to it. The hurt at the start is very acute but as time goes on the pain happens less often.
My first husband died 21 years ago and although I’ve been remarried many years I can still cry at certain songs and think about him frequently (especially now with grandchildren.)
Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve but there is life after loss. No one can say how long it takes as it’s different for everyone. Thoughts are with you x

I haven't lost a husband, only a very dear sister. The pain does not go away, but you get used to it.

The first year is the worst, I kept thinking 'This time last year, this time last year', but sometime after the year is up, life does start to lift a bit. That is why the recently bereaved are encouraged not to make any life changing decisions in the first year.

We all grieve in different ways, and years after the loss, somehing will catch you unexpectedly and your eyes will well up

When will it stop hurting? No one knows, but gradually you will get used to it.