Christmas and presents

I would be wary about gift vouchers unless they are from a major company who are likely to ride out Covid. A voucher from a small business or independent shop may be worthless if they close down because of the virus.

We just give to the children too. However, one year, we did something fun for the adults. We all bought our own presents, then we put them in a great big box, and got the kids to pick them out and open them. Then everyone else had to guess who had bought that particular present for themselves. Great fun, and no one was disappointed with what they got!?

We give presents to the chilren, but among the adults we do Secret Santa. That way everyone gets one decent present. We always do Amazon wish.lists so everyone gets what the would like. And have presents to open. We do still do a few stocking fillers, avoiding plastic rubbish.

I fear that nowhere will be open for them to use book tokens or vouchers this year. Therefore thought I'd get a paperback book per person to wrap and post - to meet the presents-under-the-tree point - then also send a box of chocolates per family and make that do for this year.

Now I'm fretting about the posting.? Our little post office is crowded at the best of times and the nearest town centre post office is miles from any parking. Anyone tried the new Royal Mail parcel collection service? Could be the answer if my old kitchen scales are up to it.

My grandchildren I give cash and a sack of presents (surprises) to unwrap and they love them even now they are growing up. My adult children I give cash and a small sack of surprises too. But then I love buying presents and am told that I am good at getting just the right gifts. I only expect a small present for myself as I am old, have everything I need and prefer to buy and generally I have more money to spare than they do.

An uncle in our family in his later years used to say don't give me anything unless I can eat or drink it. We used to laugh. Now we adopt the same stance ourselves....

You're not being awkward Sparkling. It's nice to have something to open. How about a compromise? Give them money or vouchers, plus a little something to open. And make it clear that you enjoy having gifts to open.
I give my family vouchers plus a couple of presents.
And they know that I like to have presents to open on Christmas morning.
We have agreed to keep it small this year and make a donation to charity as well.

Could they and you do a wish list on one of the online sites like Amazon? We do this and have a limit of £20 a item. I find this works as people get a present to open but know it will be something they want.

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Can you do a mix? With our close family we will spend a small sum on something to open and then a voucher too. All adults now... The small gift might be just a bottle of their favourite shower gel, a "posh" soap or something edible. When the kids were still kids there would be a small toy or book or something their parents said they would like. Obviously this year will depend on whether or not will see them.

Not the spirit of giving, but our family exchange 'desirable' lists, telling all the others which gifts we will buy. I don't really like doing it this way, but it means that they all get something they like and no money is wasted on straight-to-the-charity-shop gifts,
This year it looks as if we will be ordering everything to be delivered direct to the recipient as we will not be able to meet.

You are presuming you will get the same in return which sounds like you haven't been asked/told so how about you say what you would like?

We are fed up of asking GS for his Christmas present list (“I’m working on it, Nanny!”). Cash would be easier but DH doesn’t think it’s a present! His parents are just as difficult to buy for. We give cash to the stepgrandsons but they are adult now. I am always happy with a book to open on Christmas Day and have a list I add to through the year. What I don’t want is to have people trawling round the shops, scratching their heads on our behalf. And please, Santa, no more shower gel!

When my DC were younger (8 & 10) we had a big family gathering, nephews, nieces, cousins, GPS, etc and a massive present opening amidst lots of laughter, oohs, aaahs and thank yous. When we left for home my youngest girl burst into tears in the car. She wanted to stress that she was grateful for what she had received, but every single present to her had been a token, so nothing to unwrap. Ever since then, and she's 46 now, I have made sure I have wrapped something for her, and, of course, she loved spending the tokens

My son has always enjoyed cash or vouchers. I used to buy him small presents as well but he loved going out to buy stuff for himself.
Now he’s older he likes presents best.

We only ever give to children. We’re all Christians, so we’ve never put emphasis on presents anyway. I personally hate getting them...usually feel embarrassed because I don’t like or want what I’m given, and then just feel bad. Maybe this year, people could give thought to the true meaning of Christmas.

No SPARKLING you are not being silly.
I think that you should do what you would like to do. Nobody should expect anything from anybody and if they are presented with a gift they should accept it with grace.
Present giving has gone mad anyway often with the true meaning of christmas either forgotten or put in the background.
Good luck and I hope that you have a happy peaceful christmas.

I refuse to give money or vouchers to anyone as I feel the point of a Xmas present is not how much you spend but the fact that you have thought of that person and gifts or a voucher show a lack of thought and effort. I do however ask my family for a few ideas of what they would like each year as I don't want to waste money on things they don't want.
For my elderly parents to be able to give something to me my husband will arrange the purchase (it will be something I have requested) and they are close enough in distance to wrap the present and give it to me over the Xmas holiday . My brother and wife can never be bothered to tell my parents what they want so every year in desperation my parents give them both cash. There is no pleasure at all to my parents in doing this, they are always concerned they are not giving enough money- even though they are and they can never look back and say "do you remember when we got you..."
For adults we have capped the amount spent and some years we have even put this as low as £5 so we are have to be inventive in what we give. We've had years of saying consumables only, or outside presents only. We decide as a group and all have a lot of fun doing this and seeing how others fitted their present into the brief. The limit has now been raised considerably on our parents as we have found that they are reluctant to replace things as they wear out or technology has changed and they don't know where to start so we may as a group buy an ipad or something similar for them. But for nobody should it be about the money.

? Why not give money for main gift and then all your close family do a secret Santa for gift of about £ 5-10 ... then everyone is sure of at least one gift to open - and can be a lot of fun finding out what everyone got!

My girls let me buy my grandchildren a gift from their list, it's a present they don't have to buy and something the grandchildren chose, win win. The adult siblings and husbands do secret santa but don't include me as they all like to buy me a gift. They ask me for ideas, l try and think of two or three each that way l don't know which one I'm getting so it's a surprise on the day.

I have 4 gks. ranging from 22 to 12.. give all the 3 older ones money for the birthdays.. but told them this year, Christmas I want to get them a present, so they have to send me the link so I can order online.. as dh died late last year, we are hoping we can be together this Christmas, God willing

dil is very good at buying presents, I am not! so we will have parcels to open, and at least , to me that seems one way of celebrating Christmas, ie. the gifts given to Jesus at His Birth...

so I don`t even have to ask my 2 dil`s not to give me money,, they are both so thoughful in that respect and we try to make Christmas good...

I do hope all here can... enjoy whatever is dished out at us.

I asked mine to share an Amazon wishlist last year. That way I know I am buying something they want, but not just giving money.

M0nica

In our family we ask everyone at the beginning of November to produce a wish list of things they would like to receive for Christmas. This is circulated around the family and we tick off, what we will buy that person.

There is no promise they will get everything, or even anything on the list. That way, no-one knows what will be in their beautifully wrapped presents, but the chances of being given something they really didn't want are considerably reduced.

I absolutely love Christmas and the giving of presents for adults and children. Fortunately the whole family are into Christmas too, DD and DGD, almost more than me. so all of us want presents to unwrap and none of us want money or tokens, except in extremis.

I wish my family were that organised! If I dare ask about wishlists before December I normally get my head bitten off as they've been far too busy to think about things like that! I just like to be able to get organised early on and buy things as and when I see them.

Monica it is the same in our family as I hate to waste money but love to give presents. I stick in a few surprises along the way though.

Lots of good support but personally in these unsettled times it’s not a good idea to give vouchers in case the company goes out of business, this happened couple of years ago and thousands lost money due to it.