Christmas and presents

Unless my family specify exactly what they want I always give money or gift vouchers - usually accompanied by a small inexpensive gift "just to have a surprise to open"

I have family who live overseas so they always receive money but I also send a small parcel with individual gifts so that they know we are thinking of them on Xmas day. (Probably won't do that in the future as the postage is absolutely extortionate)!

I honestly can’t think of anything that I want as a Christmas gift. I would prefer a nice pair of woolly socks or some warm gloves to any of the tat on many internet shopping sites!

I rarely see anything I really want, and it seems a waste to have something just for the sake of it.
I do enjoy a lovely pair of slippers though.

I don't understand people who say there is nothing they want as a gift; do you buy things for yourself all year round? I have always saved anything I see that I want to a wish list that I can share with family for birthday or Christmas. I would really miss not getting any presents, as it just wouldn't feel the same buying myself treats.
To reply to the OP, give them what they want and tell them what you would like in return. It works both ways!

Well I think you are absolutely right to treat yourself to a gift! I have needed to replace my laptop and a new rose gold coloured one should arrive tomorrow. I am calling that my present to self lol! It was quite inexpensive and I shall also use it for the writing course I am currently completing. I think, if you feel able you just agree to their request, but maybe ask them if they can organise one or two little gifts as you will be on your own. I would think they should understand. Surely x are you all alone? I have my little dog to keep me company.

There is no reason why a shopping trip should put your life at risk. In the south many of us live in areas where the risk of COVID is small and already reducing,

All you need to do is make sure you have a mask and I always wear gloves and just be sensible and careful and there should be little or no chance of picking up the bug.

I agree with RillaofIngleside - Amazon wishlist ... works well for me. I add to mine over Sept, Oct, Nov and get quizzed by my son as to whether or not I have updated it! He then decides what he wants to get and may or may not use Amazon for the purchase. This works well for us as I patchwork and quilting is my hobby so he doesn't even know what some of the things he's bought me are for!! I always buy him socks (which he looks forward to!!) and transfer a bit of cash to his account to get something he wants. We have a pretty laid back family, but I do similar for DDIL and the two GC. That way any unwanted gifts are not hugely expensive, often funny and, of course, given and received with love. Happy Christmas- whatever that turns into this year! I'll be happy just so long as I have a traditional Christmas lunch, cooked either by me or my DS.

Thank you Sparkling for coming back with such a nice post !

Thank you everyone. I will do as they ask, but now they are all working I think they will be a little disappointed in the amount as I am not going to keep spending the sort of money I used to spend when they were younger. I like a gift, something to open on the day but I do understand it’s difficult to get it right. I am however, going to buy myself a nice present.?I do think like a lot of people, I have put too much emphasis on presents in the past, spending silly money, instead of concentrating on the real reason. Never too old to learn though.Thankyou.

Liverbird66

Hi, I am new here but desperate for advice. My son and his partner have two beautiful daughters aged 2 and 7 months. We are now approaching our 3rd Christmas as grandparents to our girls and I feel like I am at war with my son and partner.
They have told us that all gifts are to come from Santa, they will pick up our presents and take them away and Santa will deliver them. I have agreed to a selection of gifts to go to Santa but I have said that we want presents under our tree from us to the girls and we have been told no everything comes from Santa. I just can't let this happen we also have an 8 year old grandson to my older son, how awful would I feel giving him presents whilst my Granddaughters sit and get nothing. They just will not compromise with me and its breaking our hearts.

Father Christmas can drop certain presents off at the wrong addresses. My GC pick them up from several different places from grandparents, aunt & uncles to godparents and parents’ friends.

I always buy myself something that I'd really like. I can afford to, now that the adults don't do presents.

Instead, we just use Elfster to do a token 'secret Santa' for £20 - so everyone gets one little present from their list (all online and delivered).

The older children get cash. For the younger ones, I'll ask their parents what they want, then either order it for delivery or send the parents cash to buy it.

As I live a long way from my family I send my grand daughter and grand son money in advance of Christmas so that they can get appropriate gifts for their children.
At my age I do not need anything but my son and grandson give me hampers of expensive and unusual foodstuffs.

Sparkling, I think, under the present (dire) circumstances, vouchers or cash is a good, practical idea.

Nobody wants to risk their health (or life) for the sake of a shopping trip for non-essentials. If they do, they're just not thinking straight!

I shall be buying gifts and wrapping them with "Mummy Love" or "Naninka Love". My presents are often crappy but I give them all a sizeable bank transfer too! Lol. Merry Christmas! xx

We had a member of our family that would buy a sackfull of gifts for everyone, it was embarrassing to receive so many gifts that far exceeded the amount we usually spent. It also meant there was nothing for anyone else to buy.

When this was kindly pointed out to her she replied that she did not care and does it because she enjoyed shopping. Her gift giving was more about her pleasure rather than the recipients.

Due to a divorce she is no longer a family member.

Every family has their own tradition, some have opted out of present giving, which is fairly easy to do if there are other people at home to share christmas with. The OP has no-one at home and I think her family do not quite appreciate that she will be waking up on christmas morn with no present for her from her family, it isn`t the present that counts but the fact that someone has taken time to buy it and wrapped it

I had that conversation with my own family. It really is very different being widowed with no-one to make a fuss over oneself on that day. The conversation is important, how many of us appreciated, when younger, what it was like for a widowed person at christmas, alone in their home. Very many people will have enforced loneliness thrust upon them this year. It is a double whammy for the recently widowed. As in a previous post of mine, I am going to be treating myself, as if my husband was here to make that special fuss of me

I keep telling my own adult children that I am fine and will be fine and presents from them are not needed. For thos who need something from them, tell them

Very easy. Tell them " gosh, I dont want money, but card would be nice" . If they squiggle, suggest a gift card. People are just strange this year. Last year we drew names out of a hat. It worked out great! We did it at Thanksgiving.

I notice one or two, hmm? unhelpful?? comments
can`t we just accept that we are sharing what we do in our particular family, and that we are all different..

sorry, I don`t usually want to get involved, but we are talking about Christmas! hugs all round I think

o.k. let`s have a drink together,, can I break into the bottle I got the other day for me, recently alone.... and I got it for Christmas,, but hey,, ...

come one.. let`s all be nice... yes, we are!

Christmas is no longer the same since I lost the last of my family and I live alone. However, one thing I enjoy is buying presents for my friends. I would never give money or vouchers as I think it is impersonal. I know what my friends like and hope they enjoy what I get them. I always spend ages wrapping things up and decorate them which I also enjoy. I recycle things. I don't spend loads of money. I buy all year and in the sales and this year have made my cards and some small gifts too. I certainly wouldn't go to the shops if I hadn't already got my presents but I've bought some online too. I was brought up to be grateful for anything I receive and I am. I am going to tell my friends though that I don't want them to risk going to the shops for presents if they would like to get me something wait until things are easier and get me some flowers or we can go out for a meal.

Do your own thing Sparkling. If you enjoy buying presents say so, but say that you will only be buying token gifts (put your own limit on the present - say £10 or so because you enjoy wrapping and giving gifts and that you will also give a token. Use it as a way if cutting back - don't go overboard with the tokens!! I give Sil and Dil money or tokens but give the GC gifts (I ask if there is anything they would like and buy some extras. DD and DS get presents from shops I know they use with gift receipts. It will be harder to shop this year because of Covid and restrictions.

I feel a bit peeved with the post from toadinthehole. We too are a Christian family and enjoy giving gifts at Christmas to help celebrate such a special time. The gifts are carefully chosen, wrapped and given with love to represent the gifts given to the baby Jesus.

I forgot to mention DH has never been bothered about receiving or giving presents so I have always done it, am getting rid of a big chore for myself. Having said that he helped choose the DGC's gifts and actually enjoyed it!

My sisters suggested cash instead of presents for charity or landfill, then said what’s the point in exchanging cash ?‍♀️??. My AC and GC all have Amazon lists so everyone is happy and stress free. Works for us plus I have hours of fun creating my wish list. Xx

Hi all
This year, for the first time I suggested to my ACx3 that we don't need to exchange Christmas gifts. They all agreed and were more than happy about it. What with another lockdown looming over us it won't be easy to go shopping and choose gifts. It will take a lot of the stress out of the festive season.
We have already got gifts for our DGCx2 and hopefully they will enjoy playing with their new toys.

I feel Christmas presents cause unnecessary angst amongst families. We donate to charity but give each ac family some cash. I personally don’t want any gifts nor does my husband.