Emotional blunting

I too have suffered from emotional blunting since losing my first daughter 40years ago,along with my dad a few weeks after,when my second daughter died 17 years ago,and my mum, just after that I just couldnt shed a tear.

I have been on Antidepressants for 16 years, and medication for anxiety.

When my partner left 2 years ago,I went to pieces,and had to pull myself out of the deepest hole,all this with a smille painted on,as I find it so hard to show anything but a strong together person
for all of you fellow suffer in silence type

I think life affects you emotionally , and what has happened in your past
I sometime wonder why i rarely cry
When my mother died i didn't cry, when my dad died i didn't cry,when my dog died i couldn't stop crying for weeks, still do when i think back
Cried for all my animals i lost
Maybe because i lived away from my parents for most of my life
I am very sorry to hear of the deaths of your DDs
I know if it was a child of mine i would cry, that would be the difference,

Reading this thread has made me well up. Sincere best wishes to you all who have had to struggle with the most devastating slings and arrows life has thrown at you.
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Thanks @lucretzia. I had them for pain once but like you didn’t find they helped. They are definitely better for insomnia and anxiety! I wouldn’t go cold turkey.

So sorry to MissAdventure and Oceanmama for your terrible losses.

Thanks to all of you for your advice and views.
Like so many of us, I have had my fair share of traumas, some of which are taboo subjects and difficult to talk about to others. As time has gone on I have just accepted what has happened and moved on, but maybe I am becoming desensitised?! I hadn’t really thought of it like that.
I’ll see what my dr says when I can eventually see him again.

I adored my father and was much closer to him than my mother. He died suddenly when I was about 30 and although felt every horrible emotion inside I have had an inability cry about it. I don't know whether it was because my mother had a bad faLl, the next day and I had to cope with all the arrangements etc on my own, scrapping the money together as he had left no insurance or money I just had to keep my emotions in check I just never was able to let them out. I had been been brought up in a stiff upper lip family where you were taught to just get on with life whatever was thrown at you so it could gave been my upbringing. Sometimes I feel people think if you don't cry you don't care but I have often found the very people who don't cry or cry rarely often feel things deeper but unfortunately bury them. You might find something unexpected will eventually set you off. A friend said she didn't cry until she went into a card shop after her dad had died and saw Father's day cards and suddenly found tears cascading down her face. I do think certain medications can blunt emotions. People are always amazed how I have coped with things over the last te years or so as everything has been thrown at us. I was reading gthe patients leaflet of one of my drugs prescribed for pain (not a antidepressant) to make sure it wouldn't clash with some antibiotics I had bee prescribed and saw a alternative use was for anxiety so it made me start to wonder whether it had helped me cope. If you need your meds do take them as this might not be a good to come off them. If things get easier for you a d more time has gone by so ce your dear father's death that might be the time to slowly decrease them. Thinking of you. X

Thank you.
It's important to talk about these things, even and perhaps because they're uncomfortable to open up about.

MissAdventure

I think that kind of thinking is what makes me stop taking them.
I feel I should be able to cope (and I do, on an everyday basis)

It's ridiculous, but I was raised in a very "stiff upper lip" home.

Its It's quite difficult for me to post here that I need medicating!

MissAdventure, me too with the stiff upper lip home. We 'just get on with it'. Quite a dangerous approach really, because many get on with it until they just can't anymore.

I've never taken medication since the death of my daughter. Tried it, as mentioned above, but never for more than a few days. I find the side effects too awful.

I never thought I would try that kind of medication in my life. It certainly has its place though. There is no weakness in taking medication. In fact, it takes strength to recognise we need help and ask for it. Good on you for doing that.

Flaxseed, first, I'm sorry for all you have been through. As far as emotional blunting, I'd like to share my experience with you in case it helps. At least, food for thought.

When I lost my daughter, I experienced emotional blunting and I wasn't on any medication. I think it's just something that enables us to cope with everything we need to do. I think PTSD is a factor too.

I did try medication once that initial shock wore off and I understand what you mean by emotional blunting. I did feel some of that effect too.

I guess my point is, for you to consider, whether you think the emotional blunting is really the medication or a trauma response.

Don't worry about your lack of tears. We all respond differently. Not crying doesn't mean you loved your father less than anyone else. It's just a different expression. It's not wrong and there is no better or worse way to express your feelings than the rest of your family.

I know you don't feel like going through a phone consultation. It's just not the same as an easy appointment in the office. I think you need to work your way up to discussing this with your doctor though. You need to work out whether the emotional blunting is the medication or something that needs support. Not necessarily medication, but some sort of support. You also need to work with your doctor to come off medication, if that is the path you take. I know it's not easy, especially at this time, but it is worth a talk to your doctor before you make any decisions.

Flaxseed, it's perfectly alright to feel exactly as you do.

Every grief is different and takes it's own time. The way we respond varies.

Sometimes, it involves a lot of crying and feeling sad. Other reactions may create a flat and emotionless response.

It's 'normal' whatever, even without medication. Just feel reassured that you're coping and don't feel that you have to grieve in a particular, set way.

I think that kind of thinking is what makes me stop taking them.
I feel I should be able to cope (and I do, on an everyday basis)

It's ridiculous, but I was raised in a very "stiff upper lip" home.

Its It's quite difficult for me to post here that I need medicating!

I am sorry about your DD MissAdventure - I think it is very important that if someone has need of medication, of whatever kind, then it is wrong for someone to make them feel this is some sort of weakness. I find the "should" in Bluebelle's post highly unacceptable. There is no should about it - we are all different and it is wrong for people who are suffering to be made to feel bad about accepting the help they need.

I am glad that you have found a treatment that helps you.

I've taken antidepressants, on and off, since the death of my daughter, and I think, for me, I'm just about accepting that I need to take them all the time.
The alternative, when I stop them, is the depths of despair, like nothing I've ever known.

I'll take the numbness, even if it takes the edge off other things.

If possible I think our bodies should deal with the emotions thrown at us through life however painful and not resort to tablets to mask our pain but everyone is different and some will feel they want to deaden the pain I am only talking personally

I was put on Amitripiline for chronic pain. 30mg a day

Everyone reacts differently to drugs

Personally I have found that this drug most certainly does nothing to control or ease pain. So I intend weaning off it soon

You may find that you're in shock and the absence of visible emotions, tears etc., is part of the grieving process

When my adored Grandma died I never shed a tear. Wasn't on any drugs at the time. But just found it impossible to cry.

If you do decide to come off Ami make sure you wean down as it can cause wonky side effects if you just stop cold turkey

Good luck