More to life? But what?

get a holiday home .by the sea .the sea always revives my spirit.....and windmills .....

Mawbe, I think you are marvellous and I love your sensible but inspiring advice!

lovingit I loved your post: I had always hankered after spending time in Venice - at first I thought I'd like to move there (may not be on now anyway due to Brexit) but now I hope to do what you've done and rent out my falt and go and live in Venice for 3 months. You've inspired me!

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Right now you and your husband are obviously fit and well, so start planning whatever you would like to do. It is now or never, as none of us know how long our good health will last.

We started our retirement in 2013 by sailing on the rivers and canals of Germany, Holland, Belgium and part of France.

Bought a house in 2016 and intended to go sailing again, but the luck changed. Nothing serious, but a broken shoulder (DH) ovarian cyst (obviously mine) failing eyesight (me) make it unlikely that we will do more sailing.

So do go for it while you still can.

A timely thread. DH died suddenly last week. Though in a nursing home, I visited almost every day, giving my days and weeks structure - until Covid of course. I live in a new, contemporary bungalow, and will manage financially, so I can't complain. Like others, I'm thinking what now? At 72, I would travel on my own, though I'm not sure how it would feel, emotionally. I already have some volunteering in the pipeline, but, as others have said, these are the last 'fit' years of our lives and shouldn't be wasted. I will read on to try to get some inspiration re moving on, when I'm ready.

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Ha ha ...some answers that make me laugh ! I am 73, alone since being widowed 2 years ago ......my plan : move back from France, buy a nice house with garden in the UK ...snag : 1) I hate being alone at night (day is fine !) b) I don't want a dog c) I wouldn't mind a cat .....BUT then realised my plan was WAS (COVID stopped that !) to travel ...so I bought a retirement flat ....which at the beginning (last August) was wonderful ......I could leave it locked up, secure, and travel on my own ...which I started to do ! Had trips planned to Russia, Norway, Antarctica, Nashville ...all deposits paid ...did manage to get to Greece, Menorca (where I also used to live), Prague and Berlin ....THEN Covid hit, so all others cancelled. I HATE the flat BUT at least I chose it deliberately in a lovely place....1 minute from the sea, 30 from the countryside, 20 from an international airport (well, it was useful !) 20 from the Ferry ....bus stops outside (difficulty changing my French driving licence back to an English one at my age !) busses a plenty, Metro 2 minutes, taxis cheap (in fact, may stop half sentence cos I am waiting for a taxi to do the big supermarket shop)......and when things were normal, I was taking myself off most days out to lunch, to the big shopping mall (sadly all the shops there are going or have gone into administration and it will soon be an emtpy shell) on a train to London, or Edinburgh, or elsewhere .......leisure centres, concert halls, theatre cinema .....I was ALWAYS out .....now I am stuck in ...although I go out every day for a walk along the beach or into the country or the city .......LOVE where I am, but the flat feels like an old folks home ....what to do next ? Can't go back to France now, cause: Brexit ! I bought a caravan to escape the flat ....can't go there now ........as soon as any ban is lifted, I am off ! When the ban was lifted in July I went next day on the ferry to Amsterdam .....anywhere just to get away ! BUT I would say, think carefully before retiring to the country if you don't drive ....for instance, in France the nearest town or shop was 10km so I had to drive everywhere ...didn't mind it, was a way of life BUT ladies in the village who were widows and had never driven, or were too old to drive any longer, were STUCK ....no transport services ...Docs and hospitals need a car to get to ....so think about the future and whether you really want to bury yourself in the country without a support network, shops, doctors, a bank,etc etc...its lovely when you are younger (I lived in Cambridgeshire back when I was younger,,,never gave the commute to London a thought, loved it .....but a lot of older people find it hard having to rely on others .........but good luck, whatever you choose ...you have ONE life it is not a rehearsal so go for it ...whatever IT may be

Do you have anything you feel passionate about? Music? Travel? History? Politics? Nature? The Environment?
Where ever you are, you need something to interest and motivate you. Find something that really interests you and find a way to get involved, where ever you are.

I agree with helga - can you remember what you loved doing as a child and maybe got put off by adults telling you to get a job with a pension instead? Was it drawing, music, acting? Find your oldest passion in life and pursue it single-mindedly would be my advice.

Just do what ever your heart desires and what ever makes you happy ?

Since March I have settled into our limited existence and tried not to think too hard about the things I can’t now do, so this thread is making me think.
I daren’t ask DH what he is looking forward to doing when it is safe, as I know it won’t be very ambitious and will revolve around antique fairs and continuing to fill our already full home with things.
I am looking forward to resuming singing in real life with my choirs and resuming real life contact with my children, grandchildren, church and voluntary work. But I really must make the effort to do more travelling, even if it has to be solo, as I think DH will be reluctant to go anywhere. Our holidays together have to be planned ( by me) down to the last detail, to accommodate his needs and his idiosyncrasies.
Our holiday last year was odd. He realised after we had booked it that he would miss his daughter’s birthday which he had promised to spend with her, so it was arranged that he would drive home early and I would return later by train. Then his daughter had a medical appointment she could not miss, but DH stuck to his plan and went home early. I really enjoyed the last few days alone and the train journey home, which encourages me to do it again, though it was a bit limiting without a car. So I am going to start planning now.

You sound very ungrateful. You should do some voluntary work. I am 66 and was burgled last Christmas with my identity hacked, and I still have not got my money back. In July the tax told me I had not paid enough tax when I was working and they have taken it off me in a lump sum! Now I am in utter penury, so think yourself lucky. I will never have holidays, days out, hobbiles. I am not living but existing.

Littleannie not a smug remark at all! We are just trying to think of a range of positive ideas to help. If you can’t think of anything positive to say, say nothing was my gran’s advice!

If you explore the Skyros holiday options you will find yourself able to travel alone and enjoy the activities in the company of very interesting people. They have a weekly face book programme for meeting up.

www.skyros.com/

My lovely 87 yo Dad unexpectedly and suddenly passed away this July.

One of his many gifts to us was his inspiring example of having a very successful retirement and a life well and truly lived.

Some of this involved the need for money (Dad was an invterate globe trotter right to the end). Some did not - his daily 3 mile walks, going swimming several times a week, playing snooker with his friends at the local working men's club, cheering on his local Rugby Team, getting on a bus with his bus pass and just seeing where the day took him.

Dad made each and every day of his retirement count. He absolutely loved life, and his love of life was the secret to his success in all that he did.

I'll draw inspiration from Dad for the rest of my own life, however long or short that may be.

Going on a language course abroad is great for meeting people. At one in Spain I met a Dutch lady and she and I now travel together, we spent a month in Argentina last year. Fabulous in Patagonia!

I'm widowed and live alone. I spent the first year eating chocolate and watching telly. Now I love living by myself. Nobody to have to be back to make his tea, not having to explain where I'm going and when I'll be home. Just book a trip and go, or go to the pub, join a book club, go to open mic nights. Invite people in. (All post vaccine of course).

Join the U3A. Google it, it has branches all over the world, and lots of different group activities, each group led by an enthusiast. There is archeology, architecture, local or world history, language, handbell ringing, singing, scrabble, chess, walking, Sunday lunches, drawing, writing, shopping trips, visiting gardens etc, etc. (A lot of groups are using zoom for now.) All for retired people. And a monthly lecture for all the groups, on very interesting topics. Many of the groups go on trips too. You will never look back and wonder how to fill your time. You won't have enough of it.

tictacnana

How fantastic to be adventurous and restless at this stage of life ! When I retired, a few years ago, I felt like I’d come to the end of a huge, life long obstacle race, like a job themed Krypton Factor. I just wanted to enjoy my home and the interests and hobbies that I’d never had time for. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I hope you find peace and have fun along the way.

I feel the same way. To be content with a relatively quiet life after the whirlwind of working etc. carries its own excitement I think. I have taken up new crafts in my retirement as well as growing veg in a polytunnel and it is enough.
I hope you find your contentment however adventurous or sedentary that may be, as that is where true happiness lies. :-)

Although we downsized to a bungalow we both had busy lives after retirement, my husband driving one of the community buses several times a week and myself doing ‘books for the housebound ‘. We had a full, busy life and then my husband developed Vascular Dementia and then Parkinson’s and now I really value living in a bungalow ! But life is very different now,, be grateful for what you have and keep yourself busy.

I'm so grateful to everyone here. There have been some truly inspiring posts which have made me think hard. I shall re-read them all and would like to say a big thank you to everyone who has taken the trouble to write. I'm amazed at how many of you have actually taken the plunge and done something different. I do agree about the U3A which I have considered and have looked at the idea of a campervan though I can't believe the price. However it's still an option. I do know how lucky I am having a good husband - I really do. I've got some great ideas from all your posts. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. There are some fascinating posts on here. I think I need to be a bit more positive.

My dh and I had a canal boat built and had 6 wonderful years cruising the river Thames. We are now living at the coast. Both have advantages but you do need to have your health and strength for canal boat living. Getting groceries was difficult sometimes but if you need regular access to the medical profession that can be very difficult. Living by the sea is wonderful, gentle walks on the promenade, and close to all facilities.

I don't know what it is about turning 70. I didn't mind being in my 60s but in May when l was 70 l felt really old and miserable. Perhaps the times we are in didn't help. I moved here to be near family and old friends to make new friends and do different things. It was supposed to be a fresh start. This year has been such a waste. I know how lucky l am really as my sister keeps telling me things could been very different for me and especially for her as she had meningitis and was in a coma for 10 days. The best Christmas l have had in recent years was a holiday in Scotland with 3 other ladies.

Why not write your Life Story? I am doing it, using a professional company and it is all absorbing. The company ensure that I keep at it and will produce the book for me at the end. I really hope that my grandchildren will enjoy it and know more about their grandparents than I did about mine!

We were house sitting and looking after 2 cats in a beautiful house in Sydney overlooking the harbour bridge when Covid struck. We did complete the sit and managed to get to our daughter’s in Melbourne before flying back home. Since then we obviously haven’t been able to do any more house sits and my feet are getting very itchy. I’m 70 and my DH a couple of years older and we can’t wait until we can travel again. Some retirees are happy to stay close to home but we just love to travel and meet new people and as long as our health allows we will continue to do so.

I have an observation. There are thousands of How To books for teens, those that are dating, planning a wedding, being happily married, becoming parents, emptynesting, but then they stop! Nobody helps learn ways to grow older. Maybe it is meant to be a big surprise. I don’t find it amusing. Don’t write us off we have so much yet to give.