More to life? But what?

Yes I often do feel like this. I’ve concluded that the changes needed are with company you keep, places you visit, where you live, and what you spend your time doing on a daily basis. Unfortunately, to change much of that, is not easy with the covid situation. So by a process of elimination, I’ve extended an artistic interest and am now selling (a little) online. It’s been really interesting so far and required learning more tech skills, artistic ones, and marketing ones. I’ve also taken to reading some more ‘enlightening’ books, rather than the usual light reading.there's so much I've never read in my lifetime. We have considered moving but rejected the idea and are now radically decorating...and I’m just hoping that the travel ideas will take fruition later next year. These ideas won’t necessarily work for you...but you will need to come up with things that you want to do...and go for as much as you can at the moment. Good luck with it. Try something that appeals to you...it doesn’t matter if you end up rejecting it..Life will be as much...or little as you can make it..

How fantastic to be adventurous and restless at this stage of life ! When I retired, a few years ago, I felt like I’d come to the end of a huge, life long obstacle race, like a job themed Krypton Factor. I just wanted to enjoy my home and the interests and hobbies that I’d never had time for. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I hope you find peace and have fun along the way.

I have a friend who sold her expensive London flat for the dream of taking a step away from the rat race and bought a canel boat.
She lasted about 2 years .
If you plan to travel up and down the canals you have to be able to plan minutely. Getting shopping , you can only buy what you can carry as no car, you cannot need regular doctors, hosp appointments etc. You have to fill up water, get rid of toilet waste etc . You wouldn't regularly see family and friends and how would you get to public transport easy if you had to get to somewhere in an emergency.
If you have a permanent mooring , things are slightly better , but what's the difference from living in a fixed bricks and mortar or a floating one except a much smaller area !

I retired in October and all the things I was planning for retirement have stopped happening becuse of the pandemic. I actually stayed on working for longer than originally planned because I couldn't bear the thought of retiring from 'working from home' which meant doing very little, but went back to working in school for half a term to retire properly. Since then I've worked for 2 weeks invigilating for the school's GCSE mocks but now I'm back to daytime TV and my huge 'To do list' much of which I continue to procrastinate about. I'm grateful for so many things but starting to get frustrated by my own company. Being in tier 3 while most of my friends are in the tier 2 area next to us doesn't help either! I get invitations to the few things that are still happening but can't go as people forget I'm just over the border. I'd planned to travel more but that too is on hold. Let's just hope the vaccine changes things for the better. The cold damp weather will subside and Spring will hopefully bring new energy to tackle that dreaded 'To do list'!

I’m in a similar position, about to sell up and split from my partner so for the first time in my life I will be able to live where I like and do what I like. My dream was Cornwall but just before the second lockdown I visited St Ives and came away deciding it is better to stay living in the same area as I’m in but instead of so many foreign holidays to start going to Cornwall for extended breaks then I get the best of both worlds. To upsticks as you get older is doable but you may miss the support networks you leave behind.
Ensure you plan some adventures to look forward to, lots of company’s do great touring holidays so when COVID restrictions ease I’m planning on some new adventures on my own. I’ve traveled quite a bit and always find people helpful even if they can’t speak the same language. Even if you stay where you are look for new things to do, lockdown made me walk and explore the countryside.

I know what you are saying and however lucky and truly blessed I feel with 3AC, 5GC and all doing so well..... We are still allowed to have our own dreams. I needed something for me, after living all my life helping others, supporting my family etc So I made my bucket list and started ticking things off about 5 years ago .... salsa dancing at the Carnival in Rio, Ipanema Beach, Copacabana Beach .... Iguaza Falls, Hawaii, Bora Bora, Jazz cruise on the Mississippi, New Orleans, Tango dancing in Argentina ... New Years Eve at Lake Como etc I’m lucky enough to live in my DD granny annexe at present but if they move I would also like to spend my days somewhere different too. Good luck .... we’re only here once so follow your dreams.

I retired 'early' (59) and spent the next 7 years travelling around Europe courtesy of a programme called 'HelpXchange.org'. People provide you with accomodation (private room) and meals in exchange for about 4 hours per day of work. Because of my age and physical condition, I kept to household types of work - cleaning, cooking, speaking English to children etc. Then I would travel around the area on my own. When I realised I wasn't really able to be of any 'help' to anyone anymore, I travelled alone which I don't mind doing at all, but came to realise that it was no fun if you don't have anyone to share it with. So October 2019 I took my first singles-coach holiday to Holland with Shearings (I think?) and it was a life-changer. Many of these holidays are too expensive for me, but there are quite a few that include full board for under £500 for 5 days. I had two further trips planned with people I met on that first trip, but Covid put paid to that. I will certainly go again when restrictions are lifted!

I know exactly how you feel Tanith. It's so hard to "start again" after losing your partner. I have been away on my own and that is my salvation. I go on organized coach tours, and after the first solo trip, have never looked back. You will meet lots of lovely people and have a smashing time. As far as moving I recommend it. One step at a time. The clearing out is the hardest , but once you have started you will get quite ruthless about what you throw away. I dumped so much stuff and my only regret is that I threw away all my theatre programs, which must have been. 00001% of the total. Try not to think.of the whole task , just a little at a time. Take care and good luck. Xxx

Be careful what you wish for.
A colleague was dissatisfied with her 'unfulfilled' life and took early retirement to fulfil it. In a very short space of time the house abroad and the travelling appeared.

To the astonishment of everyone the apparently complaisant husband moved into the house abroad with his high-achieving second wife, and the travelling was from the faintly despised rural bungalow to a semi on a busy road.
The children's marriages collapsed, and most of the previously unfulfilled time is occupied by childcare.
All very sad.

I agree that a motor home or narrow boat might suit you at least to try out the different places and then decide if you’d actually like to live there . I think this year has made many of us feel trapped but I’m sure you’ll feel different when you can travel again. It’s not just the actual trip it’s all the planning and looking forward you’re missing x Msida what a beautiful post x

Oh we feel exactly the same ! Treading water is how we refer to it - and it's something we've never done ! Can't wait to start visiting friends and moving about again.... I live in Northamptonshire but want to be by the sea so much I actually dream about it. And yes - we're thinking about a Motorhome too.

The other thing is.... that whilst my heart breaks for the young people facing such a difficult future... at least they can afford to "lose" a year in Lockdown. We can't ! We're time poor - all of us !

I like your post LadyBella and empathise with you because I feel exactly the same. I had real difficulty in settling down after a life of so much travelling. I endlessly want to go off and do something adventurous, but don't know what. I'm too old to do much now, and have no-one to do it with anyway!
I think possibly buying a motor-home might suit you. It's a fantastic way of seeing places and meeting people, and then you go home again. It's wonderful. Good luck.

Hi Tanith. I am also in the same position as you but when we can travel I am thinking of doing a solo holiday to test the water. If I don’t feel comfortable for whatever reason I won’t do it again but it is only a week and it is surprising how many books you can get through in a week!

My dear old dad lived in a bungalow surrounded by the older generation he used to call his road “gods waiting room”. He was always out and about helping pensioners with this that and the other even tho he was a pensioner himself. Could you write a bucket list of things you want to do, places you want to visit once Covid is over obviously. Least then you can spend time planning how you are going to achieve these things, it may lift your spirits and have something to look forward to. My list is endless I cross one off then add another. I intend to make the most of all my free time.

We are in this position now - have looked at moving (nearer family) one is in Scotland and the other in Cornwall ! but it would mean dipping into savings (our house isn't worth that much); my health isn't great and we have a good supportive network of friends here. I keep telling myself how comfortable we are, how lucky we are, etc. but TBH it's not working. When restrictions ease, we're planning to do something smaller - maybe spend next Winter abroad; maybe look at a camper van. Certainly more holidays and I'd like to do an OU degree. BUT somehow, we just can't decide and nothing is getting agreed. Suspect that it's more about the high level of anxiety we're all living with at the moment - makes taking any risks even more frightening? I read a newspaper article saying that we've become blase about all this because we've been living with it for nearly a year now, but it hasn't gone away. Am hoping that by Spring, decisions will be easier to make (but no idea what to do in the meantime).

We retired nearly two years ago after running a small business. It took a while to get used to the extra time but didn’t want to waste any. We went for weekends away for rugby matches. We spent other days going to dinner then a match making friends at a lovely club. Visit our children and their family I would stay at our daughters when her husband was abroad for work. We would go on days out with various friends for meals or drinks. Since COVID like many others our life has come to a practical standstill everything cancelled. I do spend a lot of time home studying I am well read it keeps the mind active. I plan special themed meals as I love to cook. We both have little hobbies that keep us occupied and we like to play cards. It’s a blessing we get on we don’t live a fantastic lavish life but I just want to get back to it.

How about making a bucket list and ticking it off one by one, rather than sit around dithering?

My husband and myself are seriously contemplating selling most of our belongings and starting again.
We have a Victorian house full of antique furniture and art.
We would like a modern bright but very stylish house and minimalist.
I look at houses for sale on rightmove that “ older people” are selling and I shudder!
I don’t want my home to look like that!
We would like to be the trendiest grandparents on the block!!!

I think it’s because we are being forced to stay at home - just like old people- we had planned to go travelling this year, but are at home.
Once we can get the vaccination things will start to open up and we can go out and about , the world will seem a better place.
We are thinking about a Motor home as well, saves mixing with too many people, but no point if we can’t travel around in it.
We have a bungalow, but it’s contemporary and we are very lucky to have spent lockdown in comfort too.

LadyBella
How do you feel about a motohome ( if finances allow)
Have some adventures in in Europe. We have visited every country in Europe in ours. That includes Turkey and morocco for some winters.

Msida

I wonder if you could find something to do that helps other people.

Your stage of life sounds very much like ours. Dh and I both volunteer and find it gives us a framework for our weeks. DH is a volunteer driver who takes patients to hospital appointments - mostly for chemotherapy and radiation treatment. He does that 2 days a week.

My volunteering has been severely curtailed by Covid and I can't wait to get back into the swing of things properly.

There are lots of opportunities to use your particular skill set and I'm sure there will be an organisation in your area that would welcome you with open arms. My skill is talking to people!!

I can understand that you don't want to plod along in a bungalow I hate bungalows and they scream out Old people..

But

I'm going to speak from my heart and hope you do not get offended

You say you are grateful.. You say the words.. But I don't think that you are grateful..

For eg your 70 and still have a loving husband near by... Stop just for a minute and really think what your life would be like without him..
Really think though of what your day would be like without him.

Think it through, dinnertime alone, wake up in the morning alone have breakfast alone. No one to share anything with or to talk to if your having a bad day..

I'll have my children I hear you say,, think again, they are busy getting on with their own lives and although you will get a phone call here and there and even a visit, the majority of time you will be alone and that feeling of being alone will consume you

If I could have my husband back I would be happy to li e in a cardboard box with him

Sometimes happiness is under our nose

Yes I felt like you a few years ago. We were retired and lived in a built up area north of London that was becoming more and more like living in a car park. Every spare bit of land seemed to have a block of flats being built on it. I had a lot of friends , mostly from when our children were little. They were all content to visit garden centres for coffee or go to bingo. There was no conversation about books or art or even good tv programmes. I was quite despondent. My DD had moved to Wales and she persuaded us to move near her. Best thing we ever did. We had to be brave as we had lived in the same house and area for 45 years. Lovely interesting p
Friendly people here

You could rent or house swap for 6 months to a year with any of those things you have mentioned-houseboat, cottage in the woods or by the sea - to see if you like it, with the security of going back to your old life if you didn't like it.