To say something or keep quiet, that is the question

A label needs to serve a purpose. Support resourcing aside, the label can be helpful to the child, especially as they get older. It gives them the gift of understanding why they feel differences or struggle with certain things. That understanding can be very beneficial for their mental health and self image which can be hard areas for autistic people. Autism also comes with strengths. I think it's important to let autistic people know this and press into their own strengths, as well as telling them about well known autistic people and what they have given to the world.

I don't think anyone would look for autism under the age of 4/5.

My son doesn’t really have any understanding of his diagnosis and tbh autism isn’t a massively helpful diagnosis for him now. But it was certainly helpful to access resources when younger and was helpful to me when he was younger.

My point really is that no-one is just trying to needlessly label a child and if you refuse to allow assessment for a diagnosis then the problems don’t go away. They just remain less understood by others. I think if people fit a diagnosis there is a lot of evidence that it is helpful for them to have it - either in terms of their own understanding of themselves (as oceanmama describes) or other people’s understanding of them.

People worry about misdiagnosis but I think that is a lot less common than delayed diagnosis

My son was diagnosed at 2 Ellan.

I know a lot of kids diagnosed at 2/3.

2 is very young as it could be normal but just note things down and keep a watchful eye. Don't say anything unless they mention it. DD2's friend has a son same age as DGS2 (2 ½) and this child is not speaking very well but making high pitched noises. He is good at climbing and balancing and attends a forest nursery. DD2 is concerned as she works with under 12's and has studied autism but is not saying anything to her friend at the moment but will if the friend asks her. The friend is a bit worried because DGS2 chatters non stop, is very friendly and adventurous and communicates with other children of all ages but then they are all different and DGS2 would probably fall off a plank connecting 2 tree stumps whereas his little friend can happily negotiate this.