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When your child divorces

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Gigi57 Wed 30-Dec-20 02:09:06

Our son split up with his wife in March during a lock down. He just packed his bags and moved into an air bnb for the duration. He has 2 children 7 & 5 His wife told him he she no longer loved him and asked him to leave. Sounds civilised well it’s far from it. She has had a revolving door of people living with her and our son now has a new girlfriend. We had their children for Xmas Eve Xmas Day and Boxing Day as neither of them wanted their children as they were with their respective new found lovers! The children are acting out in different ways the 7yr old has become extremely grown up and responsible. The younger one has gone from a very boisterous little boy to shy and quiet. They begged their father to stay longer with us but they had to go back to their Mother.
We are too old to have the children live with us permanently but we are starting to think is there a way for them to come and stay with us when there are holidays say for longer than 2 nights? We can’t interfere as they are not our children. Has anyone else been through this? If so we are all ears. Our darling grandchildren need stability we think. However our sons generation are pretty selfish as they think of themselves first before the happiness of their own children. We have tried talking to our son but he says it’s non of our business and his children are fine. We are very concerned that they are not.

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MagicWriter2016 Wed 30-Dec-20 19:41:43

When any marriage breaks up, especially ones involving children, there will be a lot of bad feeling on both sides. You have to be supportive and never, ever take sides. They could decide at a later date to give it another go.

Just be available for your gc as much as you can and again, stay neutral if the gc decide to tell you/ask you stuff. Hopefully, when the dust settles, and the parents start thinking about their children’s welfare, they can make a new ‘normal’ life for all concerned.

Both my daughters have had failed marriages for different reasons, but now, they get along with their ex partners, I get on with their ex partners and the children are parented with mum, dad, step mums and extended families and feel very loved and secure. It seems to be more the ‘norm’ now. Just don’t ever let yourself get dragged into their problems. Good luck.

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trisher Wed 30-Dec-20 20:08:50

It doesn't sound as if the legal part has been completed yet. Your DS and DIL will have to agree some things about the care of the children and financial matters. It sounds as if your DS doesn't have a proper home yet, that should change. I hope they both take their responsibilities more seriously. Keep communication with both if you are able and make offers to both of them about childcare. You may find they are very grateful especially during the long summer holiday. Good luck!

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autumnsun Thu 31-Dec-20 11:30:37

Actually I think you can generalise about this generation even though my son & partner with 2 boys (well they wernt even a couple they just got pregnant TWICE) But give them their due they stuck it out for 10 years & are doing vey well with arrangements (mainly cos my son is soft & does all the running around) but what they don't realise is how it affects the whole family m&d brothers sisters etc. There are many kids that manage very well but I would hazzard a guess many many more that don't

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autumnsun Thu 31-Dec-20 11:36:22

I meant grandparents aunties uncles cousins etc

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Summerlove Fri 01-Jan-21 13:58:11

Actually I think you can generalise about this generation

Do you feel that about every generation? I hope you don’t take offense to “ok, boomer”.

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