Do you give up with a friend who doesn’t contact you first?

Nope, I have no problem with always being the one to initiate a call. However, I am extremely selective and know that these people will tell me if they haven't time to chat.

I think texting her to say "Fancy a chat?" is the best way. If she is struggling then motivating herself might be very hard. You initiating the contact gives an opening that might help her.

I'm another one who tends to feel I may be a nuisance. I will text to ask if a friend fancies a chat, tho, and that usually works out okay.

In lockdown, tho, I've been even slower than usual to contact anyone. I feel as if I'm in suspended animation, just drifting through the days with no aim.

Maybe one of these things applies to your friend.

Why not just mention to your friend that you wonder if she's happy about you phoning every week, as you wouldn't want to be a nuisance.

I am like Peasblossom too. I find it really hard to ring people unless it is planned. I ring my Mum but everyone else I feel like it is an intrusion for some reason, yet don't feel it is when people ring me

I think sometimes people don't understand that relationships, including friendships, need work and sometimes people are lazy.
I have lost friends through being in a one sided situation and realising they just don't care about me that much.
I also have friends who I know will contact me if I haven't been in touch with them for a while.
What do you get out of these phone calls? If it only a sense that you are doing her a favour then I'm not sure it is worth pursuing. Is she interested in you and your life? If not then why bother?
Over the years I've been friends with people I thought appreciated my company. Gradually I came to realise that wasn't the case and backed off.
Now I only give my time to people who want it, and there are plenty of them I'm very lucky to say.

During lockdown, I've been disappointed that I seem to be the one who initiates contact with friends some of whom I've had for years. I'm the one who texts to ask if they're ok etc?
I've decided to give up on them and will wait and see if they initiate contact post lockdown. If they don't, well that says it all doesn't it?
Life goes on.

Hi hum, this is me. I operate from the basis that people probably don’t want to talk to/meet up with me and that I’m a bit of a nuisance so I find it really hard to initiate contact by phone or (in other times) to suggest meeting up. I’m always steeled for rejection or at best tolerance.

Text/letters/email no problem because then I’m not intruding.

I know this is my problem but I find it really, really difficult.

Also when you’re widowed there’s always this additional feeling that people are just being kind and you don’t want to make more contact than they want. Even confident people worry about that.

there have been times where I will stop contacting people just to see if they will contact me, if they do not then it shows me that perhaps it was just me wanting to keep the contact going,

I've done the same and suddenly realised that I've been propping up a friendship sometimes for years.

On the other hand, there are some very dear friends I've had for years, and we may not speak for a long time but when we do, it's as if we only met last week.

There is an elderly lady from my knitting group that I keep in touch with on a weekly basis. Like your friend she has family and a carer but I phone her every week and we talk for ages about nothing in particular. I know that if she didn't hear from me for a while she would phone me but she knows I phone every week and we both feel comfortable with that arrangement. So if you get on well then keep in touch, even if it is you that makes the effort as I am sure it is appreciated and you would miss not meeting up again after lockdown. Have you ever mentioned to her that she might like to give you a phone call from time to time? Whatever, wait until after lockdown and if your friendship changes then make a decision. There are others that I know in the same situation that I have given up on as we have nothing really in common.

I have found myself not contacting people just because I have nothing new to say and do not want to appear annoying so maybe she feels the same, knowing you are going to phone once a week she does not feel the need to contact you in between.

Pre Covid , there have been times where I will stop contacting people just to see if they will contact me, if they do not then it shows me that perhaps it was just me wanting to keep the contact going, I feel no ill will towards them, sometimes relationships can drift apart.

In your situation I would text to ask if she is up for a call, if not no worries. It will give her the chance to say if she wants to continue the contact.