am I being unreasonable

It is really sad, but I feel that in your heart of hearts you know the answer.there are three basic questions. Is the travel essential? Do you need their support? Do they need your support/childcare?. As all the answers in this case are "no", then I think you must accept that you should not go. If everyone tries their hardest now then by the time that summer comes we may be able to enjoy our families and friends once more.

Maggiemaybe

www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-support-bubble-with-another-household#who-can-make-a-support-bubble

I’ve read these guidelines over and over and nowhere can I see anything about a couple or half of a couple forming a bubble with anyone else. All the criteria seems to be for people living alone, people with a child under one, teenagers living together with no adults, people living with someone disabled. Please tell me where it says a healthy person living with a healthy partner can go and visit another family.

suziewoozey love it

So does this work the other way as well? A cooped-up schoolchild in need of a break can't go and stay with its grandparents for a day or two? Exhausted young teachers living away from home have to stay alone in their bedsits for a week?
Is this in the spirit of boosting morale, as we are told is so much needed? We are also told that the stay-at-home rules are to prevent partying and large gatherings indoors which I didn't see mentioned by the OP. This would be bending the rules rather far, certainly, but my sympathies are rather with the OP's husband.
No wonder when the elderly are so hyper-critical that the young get fed-up with being told to forego everything to protect us.

As has almost everyone else.

Nannan2

And no its not half term yet anyway, not in England at least.so kids are expected to be still online for studies.And no you are not being unreasonable but your hubby is.Lets hope he doesn't get a fine eh??

Where I live half term has started today as school is closed for a teacher training day.

I agree that so many people are misunderstanding the 'bubble' term.
If you say 'support bubble' it should be easier to grasp. I have a daughter who is a single parent, living locally, so they need my support. We can behave as one household. The same would be true if I were supporting an elderly relative and not a single parent.
To say that I can support my daughter if she lived hours away is not a true and sensible interpretation of the rules.
I am also in a childcare bubble with my other daughter. I collect her 5 yr old at the door, and we do no socialise. I do not mix my bubbles as this would be a risk.
We all live close so understand how fortunate we are.

You most certainly aren't being unreasonable- your husband & son are the unreasonable ones. Sadly, as a couple, you're not in a position to bubble with anyone unless you're providing childcare which you clearly are not. As other posters have said, your husband is laying himself open to being stopped & sent home with a hefty fine. I can't believe your son is encouraging him on his proposed course of action & you must be saddened that they are both flouting the law & ignoring your feelings. I hope our comments have helped you Frue, I'd be interested to know what you are now thinking about this situation.

You have done the right thing not going and good on you! You seem to be the sensible one, abiding by the rules.

It is half term next week! And I want to see my grandchildren, we have been separated for too long.

thankyou all - was feeling so miserable about this but you cheer me up

Well obviously your husband is going against gov advice but you know that. I think the issue is that none of the family seem to support your decision. It's indeed an uncomfortable position to be in. No easy answer. If you feel you’ve explained your position there’s not much else you can do but grin and bear it. It’s very hard.

Surely you and your husband can't be in a bubble with your son and family. My understanding of a "bubble" involves only a person living on their own being allowed to meet indoors, stay over. Would check out the rules but I know I and DH aren't allowed to even visit family.

As long as people break the rules because their own situation is heartbreaking, they are playing a part in causing heartbreak for other families, because the restrictions will need to continue.

Maggiemaybe- and you dont know that they do either- (am sure OP would have said if there were extenuating circumstances that they need help with?) In any case there is still 2 parents to share the load if that were their situation.You're just being snide to prove your point as you have in other past posts.

I think sometimes we could all become nervous wrecks over this sort of thing if we allowed ourselves to be. This morning's papers suggest this lock-down could go on into the Autumn. I have not seen my daughter since last September when we managed a short family break which luckily fitted into the short time that we had any freedom although the rule of six came into being the night before we arrived there. Our son and his family were also going and they had a separate house so we did not break the rules but we could not have our usual family meals together. My heart dropped when I read this morning's paper. We are all hoping that in September we can have our annual break but now it is looking doubtful. I am disappointed but so long as we all stay healthy that is all that really matters. I have friends who live alone and for them it must seem never ending. I have another friend who's first grandchild is due in eight weeks time. This child is the precious result of IVF after many lost pregnancies. If I was in my friend's shoes, I could not honestly say that I would not visit that new baby. Providing that I tested Covid free. My friend was going to be a birthing partner for her daughter but Covid has put paid to that. It must be heart-breaking not to hold your first grandchild in those early days.

It is your husband and son that are being unreasonable and it’s things like this trip that mean we are still in lockdown.

He’s wrong you are right you shouldn’t feel bad about this. We’re in this mess because so many just do what they want. Smile and be firm.

Its very difficult when you want to see family but can't.
I have refused to see my dd and grandchildren because dd can't seem to grasp the idea that she shouldn't be taking the kids to visit her friends....
They were meant to be my bubble fgs ?
Im a single person living alone.
Stick to your guns and make him pay his own fine if he's caught!

Yes you need to ring your son.Tell him its not happening and he must take back the invite..(are you sure your sons not asked him to look after the kids in half term so they(the parents) can continue to work without having to stop & see to kids?) In which case, i guess they could argue, its childcare.But it still seems like a very long way to go to give it, especially if the parents can maybe take turns to take care of kids, whilst other works.

Good post, Marjgran. But you’re on a hiding to nothing on here, trying to show the other side of the coin.

I like SusieWoosie’s comment. A lot would depend on the personalities and relationships on whether that would work or cause ill-feeling.

What I would suggest though is to tell your husband that you are feeling anxious about catching Covid and suggest that, when he returns, you must socially isolate within your house. That would mean separate bedrooms, cutlery, crockery etc. It is quite a performance and you can look it up online. Maybe he would change his mind?

I’ve never understood how otherwise intelligent people say it’s all right because we’re in a bubble. Some bubbles, where no-one is with anyone except their bubble and who don’t go out, may well be ok. I know bubbles though where the adults are working and the children in school - how could this possibly be safe for the granny - it may be ‘allowed’ but is it safe? I’m an example of this - I live alone and could have bubbled legally with my son’s family. However, he’s a doctor, she’s a nurse and the children go to school. Much as I would have loved to bubble with them, my chance of contracting Covid from one of them would have been too high to risk! We miss each other dreadfully but I hope to be around for a few more years to enjoy family days and make up for this ‘lost time’.

You’re quite right in not going. It’s not “local”, and as others say, if stopped by police, or reported by your children’s neighbours, your husband could be fined. I haven’t seen my one and only grandchild at all. He was born last June, and I don’t expect to see him in all probability until he’s walking! It’s more important to not just stay safe, but keep others safe, and that means staying home. For me that’s staying within a radius of 3 miles of my home - and only went that far to get my first Covid jab!

I agree with Jan43 & think of those in the 2nd world war. My sisters MIL had a baby & lived for 5yrs being told her husband was missing in action. He was actually captured as a Japanese prisoner. He did eventually return weighing 6st & having been tortured beyond description.

Surely we can abide by the rules for a while longer....this WILL improve (even if we have to live with the virus for many years/forever?) People are still dying...have a thought for those poor families or those having to live with Long Covid .... PLEASE....even if you have had your vaccine!!! Things cant improve until the numbers decrease even after vaccinations.