15 year age gap, in older age

Worrying too much, way too much about him being 75.

Can’t say any more. I have a sudden urge to grab my 76 year old and take him to bed!

(Not for a nap ?)

Carpe diem! Seize the day!
Don't be impetuous, and make mistakes, but ponder and then act.
You sound to be happy, so relish your love for each other.
I have seen folk who are FAR older than their years and are a drag! And others who are young at heart!
(The 93 y o who insisted that her buggy had to be metallic red, not plain black!)
Life is for living! Not cultivating Job's comforters.
Go for it

I think your main problem is comparing your settled family life to your single friends party lifestyle.
If you split up from your fiancé you wouldn't be footloose and fancy free like them, you'd be a single parent trying to balance work and childcare. Not a better option.
I'd say fast forward five years or so and these friends could well be worrying about their biological clock running out for them to have a baby.

At 30 you're not too young to be a mum, plus you still have plenty of years to pursue your career as and when you're ready to do so but with solid support behind you. Lucky lady!
You say you feel "at home" with your fiancé. That's where the heart is remember. Enjoy your wedding ?

Thank you all for your input.

Of course the internet will be full of horrors and disasters. Happy endings are all rather dull (in that context).

This man is someone you are happy with, you tal about all the things that make marriage work - friendship, a great partner, amazing Dad to your shared child.

I think most of us have a panic about whether we are doing the right thing in the lead up to the wedding. I certainly did and so did most of my friends. It seems such a big step and (theoretically) irrevocable. I actually think that is quite a good thing.

No one knows what may happen tomorrow, let alone next year, the next decade or 50 years hence . I mean - who forsaw COVID and its effects.

Someone has already quoted Joan Collins' famous words on marrying a man 30 years her junior. What more can on say?

Even if, when you are 55 and he is 70, things begin to unravel, you will still have had 25 happy years with him.

Go for it if everything else is good within the relationship. Yes, it is possible that you may have to do a lot for him when he ages but it is not certain.

If you were 55 now and he was 70, I might say "think carefully" because he would be nearing old age right now.

I wish you well.

He sounds to me like a lovely man as you describe him as a great partner and an amazing father. If he loves you and you love him I'm sure you'll be very happy. Sometimes people can be envious so try to relax and enjoy your family.

My Daughter was dating a man 30 years older than her,who was 11 years older than me.When I first mentioned the age gap she shot me down and said "I'd rather have 20 happy years" than 50 miserable ones with someone the same age.I never mentioned it again.They broke up after a few years but nothing to do with age.Ive had friends marry someone their own age and then pass away in their 30's.Age doesn't matter if you're happy.No one knows when someones time is up,no matter how young or old.Enjoy your time together and good that you're seeking help on anxiety,it will spoil your life with unnecessary woes.All the best.

There was a 12 year age gap between me and my husband. We were happily married for 46 years before he sadly passed away. I can only say he was the most kind, considerate man you could ever meet a loving father and much loved by our two daughters. He had so much patience with them and they enjoyed nothing more than 'helping' Dad with DIY etc. I think because he was older he was well established in his career and financially secure. I have been in the fortunate position of always living in my own home. I can only wish you every happiness for the future OP, he certainly sounds a loving caring man. I can assure you the age gap shrinks as you grow older together. Good luck.

Thank you for so many positive comments. I have seen my gp about anxiety and low moods and have started on medication, and been referred for counselling.

Part of me just panicked that perhaps I was actually realising the age gap won’t work and that if I just shrugged it off as anxiety I’d regret it. I really hope that I can happily move past it and stop worrying. I just want to enjoy my lovely little family.

The other thread :

www.gransnet.com/forums/chat/1292389-Age-Gap-Relationships

Just enjoy the relationship and be thankful you have a good partner, you don’t know what the future will bring decades in the future, plan to be financially secure as you get to retirement age, which is what most of us should do anyway.

The big advantage of an older man is they are more experienced, stable and financially secure and if he already has a young attractive wife he’s not likely to be looking for another younger woman. Look at all his positives not one negative.

Lovely, wise post eazybee.
Listen to her op! She's absolutely correct in every respect!

After an unpromising start you and your partner have developed a sound relationship, based on responsibility, friendship and love. which is much more than some married couples have; it starts well and deteriorates when difficulties ie children, finances arise.
You have said you are an overthinker, and looking on the internet is the worst thing to do; people don't usually post to say' actually, my marriage is working out quite well and we seem to be coping;' they are too busy getting on with their lives.
The trouble stems from your 'friends'; how on earth do they know how they will feel about a sixty-five year old man when they are fifty? They will probably be extremely surprised!

It is personality which counts, not age difference, you have built up a good relationship : 'we genuinely get on. Just being with him feels comfortable and like home.'
You are more lucky than you realise; nobody knows what the future holds so go for it and be happy.
Enjoy.

Your friends are being foolish, also unkind in making those remarks to you.
If you love your partner, you will be happy to look after him in any illness that happens, as he will be for you.
Finding a same-age partner would be no guarantee of a trouble free life.

It`s the old sayings that are the best,as in age is just a number.
Happiness is all that matters and it`s priceless ellisro.

Yes, it does sound like your friends are the issue. Is it possible that they are jealous? Have they got such happy relationships?

Jane - I didn't understand that either...

My 'age gap' thread is in the list of 'active' threads.
It's lovely to see everyone telling you not to worry, they're right - just enjoy it!

Have you ever considered that he might live to a hale and hearty old age and you might be the one who needs care and support? It has happened to relatives of mine and also one of my friends. Life happens, if you love each other then 15 years isn't a great gap. I wish you well whatever you decide.

grannylyn65

Why Jane Judge ?

why what?

I think you need to tell your friends to stop it tbh, they sound a bit immature.

If your anxiety is a problem, have you spoken to your GP?

Don’t worry about the age gap, just enjoy having such a lovely man to spend your life with. Don’t worry about the future, no one knows what is round the corner. I am a little older than my DH but he now has health issues which curtail our lives. This could not be foreseen and worrying doesn’t change everything. Go ahead and have a lovely life, you are lucky.

Sorry - i do wish there was an edit button on here. Real friends would be pleased for you that you have found happiness.

Why Jane Judge ?