Inverted snobbery or just jealousy?

I'm always happy to hear of others who have done well. I've become suspicious of people who complain of others 'bragging'. I always think its says more about them than about the people they complain about.

It is jealousy and envy, nothing else. Both nasty mean vices.

gt66

Whitewavemark2

I’m sure there are more important things in life to worry about.

What a condescending reply! I expect you've made the OP feel really bad!

I'm sick to death of these kind of replies and is why I've never started a thread myself; I've seen so many replies like this from posters asking a perfectly innocent question. I wonder how many other members out there that feel like this?

Too right gt66.

I'm with you gt66

It is people's perceptions.
I knew someone whose brother in law did extremely well; he and her sister were very generous; every year they treated her to a week in London, gave her a fantastic time and she enjoyed every minute. Her husband refused to go because he thought it was patronising. They would liked to have shared so much more but the husband wouldn't accept it.
Sad.

I have moved way outside of the lives and experiences of everyone I know from school and my family. No one minds or holds it against me (other than possibly my SiL, but she has lots of issues, not just with me).

In my experience, it is about how you present yourself. No one is bothered about my life and what I do or don't have. I am exactly the same grumpy, down to earth curmudgeon that I have always been.

Possibly the phrase, 'they have both worked very hard for all they have' is a clue. A lot of people work very hard and due to social conditions / life, do not manage to rise out of the basics of life. My mother is one example. She has worked her fingers to the bone and is still poor. Someone saying, 'Oh but we earned it' would be galling to her because it implies that those that aren't lucky haven't worked as hard.

They are lucky is all. As am I.

I think it's jealousy. A human emotion, unfortunately. Success, at least in the west, is defined by possessions, and people who possess tangible assets are bound to attract jealousy. Mostly it is hidden, but it is often under the surface and can lead to catty comments. Best to ignore, so good luck to your friends in Spain.

I am always happy to see people succeed and then go on to enjoy their lives.

Envy/inverted snobbery whatever you call it is just horrid.

TrendyNannie6

Good luck to them that’s what I say, worked hard and it’s paid of, I can’t stand jealousy, we love to hear that people have done well in life,

Completely agree and agree with gt66.

Your friend might be lonely as she has grown beyond those family members. I have noticed some people are rude about people who have joined another social class or income group.

I hope your generous friend will make nice new friends who have something in common with her.

Whitewavemark2

I’m sure there are more important things in life to worry about.

Yes, I’m sure you’ll give us a list in due course. ?

Good luck to them that’s what I say, worked hard and it’s paid of, I can’t stand jealousy, we love to hear that people have done well in life,

Whitewavemark2

I’m sure there are more important things in life to worry about.

What a condescending reply! I expect you've made the OP feel really bad!

I'm sick to death of these kind of replies and is why I've never started a thread myself; I've seen so many replies like this from posters asking a perfectly innocent question. I wonder how many other members out there that feel like this?

yes. My late husbands family all excepting my lovely late MiL who was a widow when I met DH. Her family thought she was getting above herself because her sons passed the 11 plus and went to grammar school and again because they both did professional qualifications instead of apprenticeships. Then MiL who lived in a city at the time met a lovely man who was the landlord (rented not owned) of a country pub and he proposed to her. That was deemed so snobbish that they cut her off completely. She was very hurt by it, that her own siblings could behave in such a way.

There will always be the grudging minority Newatthis - in families, friends and indeed, on Gransnet.......

Thankfully, that’s what they are and everyone will know them for that - grudging and a minority?

Yes, from a couple of in laws, but I don’t care ?

All I can say is well done to your friend. It wouldn't bother me one jot to hear about the fortunes of others after years of working, in fact I like hearing about those who've got on in life especially if it's your own family. Better that than falling on hard times !

I personally haven't come across anything like this among my friends. They're like myself, only too happy to see or hear how someone's got on, particularly those deserving of it.

I’m sure there are more important things in life to worry about.