My take on the Aunt Bessie advert :
"I used to love my Nan's roasts. She'd cook 'em every Sunday without fail."
Did the poor woman never get a Sunday off? No wonder she cheated and had a freezer full of Aunt Bessie's finest.
"'Ow's it going out there, me luv?" = "Where the bl**dy 'ell is it? Me stomach thinks me throat's been cut!"
"I'm nearly there, sweetheart" = "What did your last slave die of?"
"Never wanted owt. That's just how she was" = More than her life's worth to complain that the miserable old bugger never bought her anything.
"She was an amazing woman my Nan, truly amazing." = "Although sorely tempted, she never clobbered him once!"
"When she finally puts it on the table, me Grandad, who suffers from OCD, then rearranges it all while it goes cold"
According to the ad.... Caring is the hardest thing we do.
Tipping it over his head would be a lot more liberating. 