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How can I be confident making decisions with a bully controlling manager?

(56 Posts)
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ineedamum Sat 03-Apr-21 19:17:36

My job is problem solving in an area I'm capable of, but lack experience. The manager will humiliate me for making mistakes but offers no support (he doesn't always know the answers). He scrutinises and nitpicks my work but offers no constructive feedback. He is affecting my motivation and definitely confidence. I feel like giving my notice in even though I have no other job. When I come to a problem, I've barely got the strength to think about it now and I don't feel confident enough to start a new job. Due to my past I always struggle asking for help as I panic when people explain things to me which doesn't help. Other people find it hard asking him for help too, but I have my own issues on top of this.

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SparklyGrandma Mon 05-Apr-21 21:46:57

He’s undermining you. Is there a possibility of asking his manager or HR if there is someone else who could manage you, as “ he isn’t quite getting me, and therefore not getting the best work out of me”.

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Christo69 Mon 05-Apr-21 22:57:10

Very balanced and appropriate advice!

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Harmonypuss Tue 06-Apr-21 07:44:39

As well as you needing some assertiveness training, I believe your boss needs to learn some people skills!

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billericaylady Tue 06-Apr-21 08:17:22

Hello there.
I would go to H.R for some advise...dont be bullied out of your job just yet as jobs are hard to come by for some of us as we age.
Take caresmile

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moggie57 Tue 06-Apr-21 10:50:29

is there a higher manager/union than him ? or you could fill out a complaint against him .or you could say if my work is not good enough maybe you would show me how it should be done .the longer you stay quiet the more it will go on ..speak out against bullies

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