Code of cooking when having guests.

Teacheranne

I agree wholeheartedly!!

Why not just all go out for dinner. It doesn't have to be anywhere expensive. It avoids the mine field and resentment.

1. Did OP return ?

2.*Yammy*I can’t see anything on this thread which makes you think this : “ If you look carefully you can see that some set out to get others. How pathetic of "mature " grandmothers. I only joined a few months ago and I am really disappointed at some of the bigoted attitudes people display it is playground stuff not helpful at all.” Total overreaction.

Teacheranne

Am I unusual in that I cannot remember when I last cooked for or went to a dinner party? I cook meals for my family when they visit but tend to go to restaurants with friends. I find the shopping, setting the table, preparation of food, cooking, clearing up washing up and putting things away too much fuss!

Entirely agree. Life is to short to cook for dinner parties. I never do now unless I just cannot avoid it.

I think I would go with, join us but bring your own food.

Yammy, not sure i understood you correctly; surely you would not invite jewish people if you were serving pork/shellfish.

Janesworth: so true - I used to say; 'it doesn't have to be your favourite food'.
Had a friend whose young daughter would only eat pink food! It's all very well giving children choices but ...

Code of cooking when having guests

There is no code.

Cook what you know your guests will enjoy, offer a choice - when you are allowed to meet indoors again.

If there's something on their plate they don't like they don't have to eat it

It’s interesting how attitudes to food have changed. This isn’t a criticism of you Happy, just an observation. But only a generation or two back, people did have to eat what they were given or they starved.

I never made my DC eat things they didn’t like, but the mother of a friend of mine had a mantra ‘you don’t have to like it, you just have to eat it!’
I’m sometimes tempted to repeat that to certain small people

Anyone who has read any of my responses to other topics will know I HATE cooking and I definitely don't do dinner parties. When family or friends visit the house rule for meals is 'Take it or leave it'. If there's something on their plate they don't like they don't have to eat it. It's how I brought up my kids and they're not fussy eaters. One of our DILs doesn't eat red meat so if she's eating with us I cook chicken. I really couldn't be bothered catering for 'dietary preferences'.

Why all the fuss about vegan or vegetarian food. My Jewish friends would never make such a fuss and their laws are far older. They don't ask me to have two sinks put in my kitchen or keep the dairy food separate. If asked for supper they usually ask what you are planning or get told in advance then they choose whether to attend or not. No offence on either side.
If we wanted to be initiated into vegetarian food we would cook it. No one is going to make me feel guilty about liking my steak or pork and you don't win people over by some of the comments on this forum.
This should be a discussion not a political platform. If you look carefully you can see that some set out to get others. How pathetic of "mature " grandmothers. I only joined a few months ago and I am really disappointed at some of the bigoted attitudes people display it is playground stuff not helpful at all.

I've never had a problem. Not eaten meat for years, but do eat fish.
I usually say if asked; 'Just do the same as everyone else I'm happy with just the veg'. My friends are used to me now.
In our family unit half were meat eaters half not. It was never a problem.
DD nearly failed her French GCSE because conversation turned to food & she said she didn't eat meat & her favourite meal was Sunday lunch!
SiL is a big meat eater. Usually do cooked meaty breakfast for him, DD & I have the same with our the meat ? egg, mushrooms, tomatoes etc.
Lunch, A tasty soup, macaroni cheese & a large varied salad, charcuterie plate, interesting dessert.
Don't do a roast these days but hopefully the occasion outweighs the lack of meat.
They all keep coming back so must be doing something right.

hugshelp this is what puzzles me as well. Supper tonight is mushroom soup and a bread roll. We had cheese and tomato risotto for lunch. I am not vegetarian. We had lamb chops on Saturday and turkey on Sunday

Reading Amandajs44 post I am amazed that so many people consider catering for vegetarians and vegans so difficult. They must have a very limited diet or limited imagination not to be able to produce vegan or vegetarian dishes without problems.

Often the only difference between the two is swapping butter for a plant based spread, as in fruit crumble or swap beef suet for vegetarian suet, cheese for a vegan substitute etc etc.

Do most meat-eaters eat meat at every single meal? We don't. Can't you all have a mac cheese or a meat-free pizza or something?

Having said that, as a vegetarian I will produce a meat/fish dish for my guests as appropriate as well as vegetarian/vegan options, depending on what I am cooking

I'd eat out, I can't be faffed with cooking for all different diets.

I think being a meat eater eating vegetarian occasionally is completely different to a vegetarian eating meat occasionally.

So although it means that a meat eater has to eat vegetarian on a visit I think this is appropriate. (maybe you haver been giv4en rather boring/unimaginative vege dishes?)

Equally it is not difficult or time consuming to produce a vegetarian/vegan offering for a guest!

Some quick recipes:

Large portobello mushroom:

Remove stalk and scrape out brown stuff into a bowl. Chop stalk finely. Add finely chopped onion.
- Vegetarian: Stir in garlic and herb flavoured cream cheese. Use to stuff mushroom head. Put on foil lined dish, spray of oil and a little water in dish. Bake 25 minutes, turning half way through

Vegan: - the same but use a vegan cream cheese or vegan pesto - available in all major supermarkets

Same mixture can be use for stuffing red pepper halves, bake 30 minutes

Also using the microwaveable packets of grains, mixed with herbs, onion, any chopped vegs like courgette and leeks can also be used for stuffing in the same way. Or stir cream cheese through the grains

All these make a great alternative to meat if doing a roast etc ....and the vegan/vege guest can have the vegetables as normal. And won't need gravy

Make enough dishes so that everyone can help themselves to whatever they fancy. I eat everything yet my best friend is vegetarian and I love what she makes for me when I visit.

agree with BlueBelle and another poster; what's wrong with adding chilli sauce. and to call her out on it, at the table, in front of others, is incomprehensibly discourteous to my mind.

as for those who choose to eat meat, well they just have to find what they can eat at other's house, and leave the rest. simples.

Good advice Laura. It’s all about showing you care enough. Friends are precious, indulging them is a form of loving them. No big deal adding more veggies to one’s menu. Now would you eat a big juicy steak in front of a vegetarian/vegan. I couldn’t. Plenty of opportunity to eat one later.

I can eat a vegetarian meal happily, it is only one meal, but I (used to) stay with a sometimes vegetarian friend some distance away, and several days of very bland vegetarian meals were really hard. She comes in and out of vegetarianism, depending on what her grown -up, long-departed- from- family- home sons favour. When she stays with me she happily eats chicken and fish.

I will put my views on here as I’m a vegan.
Most meat eaters eat vegan foods, veg, pasta, rice etc.. However vegans or vegetarians won’t eat meat, fish, dairy.
When I cook for friends or family I always cook vegan and they enjoy the meals I cook. Most say that it’s a chance to try different dishes that they wouldn’t have a clue about.

However I also know how difficult it can be for meat eaters to know what to cook for me when I eat at theirs. They always ask me and I give them ideas. Sometimes they will try a vegan dish and eat it as well or they cook a vegan dish and just add a bit of fish or meat on the side.

I always take a vegan dessert with me as many people have no idea what we can eat for desserts. Trust me when I say that so many desserts are vegan or can be modified to be dairy free.

Veggie curries, vegan chillie and roasts are so easy to make vegan. Enjoy experiencing. x

Can I just add that there is nothing more uninspiring than "just the vegetables" when others are eating meat? Especially if boiled. Yuk. No protein, no flavour and often little texture.

Don’t invite those with such strict preferences, or prepare a hot and cold buffet which everyone can enjoy x

If having friends round for a meal is for friendship why all the fuss.
Why are meat eaters expected to eat vegetarian food in a vegetarian house and provide it in theirs is that not discrimination in its self, if it is not reciprocated with meat in a vegetarian household? Our family buy the appropriate food from M&S.
I buy vegetarian food for vegetarians they buy food with meat for us.

Many years ago when this kind of debate was just taking off a friend who had become vegetarian decided to have a barbeque, all done very precisely with written invites, on the bottom she had written bring your own dead animal. Yet every Sunday I know she cooked a full Sunday lunch with meat for her husband and family.
Why the fuss buying books and learning new recipes at our stage in life. Each to their own dietary rules and if your friends don't match yours tell them you will be buying something for them and they can choose to attend or not.