Code of cooking when having guests.

This lady chef Lori Quaye from Croydon has put a few veggie and vegan recipes that only cost £1:00 or under on the internet. Google her. I made the vegan (kidney bean and sweet potato) pie for myself. My friend arrived and said she could share with me. It has become our favourite meal. Neither of us are veggie. I add various things to go with it like peppers. It’s easy to make and goes a long way. It’s cheap but doesn’t look it and better still can be made the day before.

How about cooking what would be considered a 'side dish' with veggies, rice etc in, but do it in a larger amount and then add a roast or something that meat eaters can then add slices of to their 'side dish',- while the veggies just eat more of the said 'side- dish' recipe- (maybe a bit like a veggie risotto, or along those lines?) Or just ask them to bring along a veggie dish, just say you're not very inventive at vegetarian recipes or some such and ask if they'd mind by bringing their 'best' recipe along?I know what you mean though- it doesn't seem fair for them to expect to be specially catered for, yet not affording us meat eaters the same courtesy- they don't have to 'handle meat' at all, theres some lovely stuff ready prepped in supermarkets these days that you can just shove in oven that they could buy for meat eating guests?But also you can just as easy maybe but a 'nut roast' or other veggie delight ready prepared to do same with perhaps? ?

I fully understand your point of view, but and it is a big but...

...if you want to still be able to invite your vegetarian and vegan friends to a meal, then I am afraid you will have to defer to their lifestyle.

I assume you would not serve pork if they were observant Jews or Muslims, would you?

Perfect two or three Indian dishes that can be served and eaten with or without meat. Cook the meat seperately for the benefit of those of your guests and yourself who do eat meat and let the guests help themselves to whatever of the dishes they wish.

If you don't want to do this, state simply that you are no longer inviting them for meals, as their and your tastes are too divergent, and you do not feel your vegetarian cooking is worth eating. From then on, invite them for coffee and sandwiches or cake.

Vegetarianism and possibly veganism are the future.
Embrace the change. Respect your friends choices.
Either cater for choices or don’t invite them.
You can’t possible expect a vegetarian to eat a meat meal, surely?
Or do you think vegetarianism and veganism are simply whims?

Cook meal as usual for the majority and then buy a veggie option for vegetarian friend, problem solved and everybody happy.

*buy

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I'm taking no prisoners today! If you just want to be nasty, go to mumsnet! (They seem to relish that on there)!

Thisbisba common "issue" - with vegetarians and vegans. Everyone is supposed to be considerate to their dietary choices but they do not reciprocate. Next time you entertain them just offer them the side dishes everyone else has plus something ready made from the supermarket that you can microwave.

I remember dh and I being invited to a "bring something for sharing" afternoon tea where the instructions were basically vegan and gluten free. We just bought something. It was a pretty soulless event with lots of flapjacks (whichbIndon't like) I cant have soya milk so I didn't even get a cuppa!! We didnt stay long!

As a Vegetarian/Vegan, anyone invited to eat with us is always happy to eat what we eat, all plant based and healthy, which by the way means tasty (am aware that some folk still believe plant-based food is boring and tasteless)... One really doesn't have to take aeons prepping for us, cos there are now an abundance of lovely ready-made 'goodees' in all supermarkets.

Surely we only invite those we are fond of to 'break bread' with us and in turn those that are fond of us will do likewise and cater respectfully.

Many of us who are Veg/Vegan choose to be so because we are appalled and saddened by the treatment of animals and want to be no part of that 'factory farm' process (much evidence showing inhumane treatment of animals in the food chain)...

Hence be kind to each other and respect why folk are Veg/Vegan... Finally aeons of plant-based products are out there which are hard to tell from meats/fish/dairy etc. They are amazing and oft full of flavour... Richmond Vegan Sausages are a super stand-by for Sausage & Mash, which appears to be quite a 'Hip' meal at the moment :-)

Addendum: Animal protein daily is not a healthy choice, meat is not what it once was... most animals do not live a good life in the right environment necessary for their welfare, today's intensive 'farming' practice is not farming...be it cows housed in sheds, pigs in sowing pens, chickens in cages etc.

Finally too many antibiotics/drugs are essential in keep intensively raised animals at a state of well-ness thus enabling them to be 'good-enough' for human consumption. Indirectly we absorb those antibiotics/drugs and oft other drugs when consuming todays meats/fish/eggs etc. which is hugely concerning hence much research is ongoing, although publication is rarely looked at by the consumer.

Riggie

Thisbisba common "issue" - with vegetarians and vegans. Everyone is supposed to be considerate to their dietary choices but they do not reciprocate. Next time you entertain them just offer them the side dishes everyone else has plus something ready made from the supermarket that you can microwave.

I remember dh and I being invited to a "bring something for sharing" afternoon tea where the instructions were basically vegan and gluten free. We just bought something. It was a pretty soulless event with lots of flapjacks (whichbIndon't like) I cant have soya milk so I didn't even get a cuppa!! We didnt stay long!

This is a very sweeping statement - you must know some very odd people ?

Wow! That’s an over-reaction if ever I saw one Nannan2. Cleopanda was not out of line at all - she was just stating her opinion.

Of course vegetarians won’t eat meat, or prepare it for others. This means that their friends either adapt their recipe repertoire a bit, or don’t socialise with them in ways where food is concerned, excluding them from lunch dates and dinner party types of gatherings.

I know which I do, with very little extra effort.

As you say TwinLolly it does seem a bit unfair - your veggie friends do not adapt for you but you feel that you must adapt for them so it is rather one-sided.
A buffet seems the best bet all round.

I kind of have the same problem. many vegetables taste bitter to me and of those that I do like, I have to limit myself to small amounts as to much fruit or veg doesn't suit my digestion with embarassing results I cant digest soy or quorn either. If it was someone I knoew well enough to tell, I'd tell them my problem if I didn't then I probably wouldn't eat at their house. Same the other way. If i like them well enough to invite them, I would makes sure the food was suitable, if not, I wouldn't invite them.
I find your "vegetarian vs meat eater comment" intersting, I wasn't aware that it was a fight or a competition.

On Easter Sunday my son invited me to his house for dinner.
My grandchildren were there and one is a vegetarian. So they cooked a nut roast, which was so filling that I could only have a little of it. Plus I did not find it tasty at all. It came with baked potatoes, boiled carrots, and asparagus. Dessert was a carrot cake with rose cream, which was nice. When the grandchildren go back to their universities my son and daughter in law will cease to be vegetarians and go back to eating chicken and salmon.

When my husband was alive we hosted foreign students and one German girl was vegetarian. I bought a book on vegetarian cooking and there were some lovely meals in it which she really enjoyed. We enjoyed them too. She told us that at home her parents cook their usual meaty food and just give her the vegetables. When she left I gave her the book so that she could carry on cooking from it.

It’s not a fight but it’s sad that I can’t go to meals at my veggie friends because they can’t or won’t cater for my allergies when they expect me to cater for their diet when they come to mine.

It’s a bit of a blind spot.

My daughters even worse off because her oral allergy syndrome is more severe and she can’t eat fruit and veg at all.

She’s been lectured more than once by vegetarians who are complete strangers, when trying to find something to eat when out.

It’s not a crusade. Or at least it shouldn’t be, I think.

Whats the issue? Buy a veggie ready meal and cook for the rest.They are cheaper than cooking from scratch.

I am a meat, potatoes and two veg person with gravy. So if a vegetarian is coming I boy a small packet of vegetarian sausages and they get that instead of the meat portion. Also if it roast potatoes I either do them in a pan separate to the meat or put some potatoes to roast in a small pan with the vegetarian sausages. I am not the sort of person who is suddenly going to learn to do a nut roast for all!!!

sorry buy not boy

I'm assuming you are not someone who enjoys cooking as its not a problem to cook something seperate for a vegetarian. But surely if she is a friend you just ask if she's happy to eat just the veggies that you prepare, does she want to bring something herself and you rpovide the veggies or can you buy something for M & S for example that's veggie. I assume you want her to enjoy her meal with you so you won't want her to have to eat meat.

How sad to be so ungenerous. If they are your friends surely it's not too much trouble to offer a veggie dish or two, along with your meat 'mains'? Otherwise, as others say, don't invite them and don't go to theirs. Friendship over.

Returning from living abroad several years ago, I was brave enough to invite 18 family members ( our children, their spouses and offspring for christmas lunch) . I was aware of all sensibilities I think.
viz.... religion: Christian and Muslim
culture: British,+ commonwealth, Chinese, indonesian
Personal preferences:
taste: none of the following: eggs, onions, garlic, tomatoes,pulses of all kinds, most vegetables ( except carrots) 2 factions.... no potatoes and no rice
texture: nothing jellyish, fatty
allergies: eggs, nuts, mushrooms, all dairy products
other medical conditions: RA, various unspecified but which precluded the eating of certain substances.
It was a nightmare. The whole family joined in the preparation but the space required for a multitude of dishes was huge
In the end, I bought the £5 (frozen) lobsters from Lidl.as a base for the starters
My 5 y.o. grandson, who up until that time had eaten only brown food suddenly decided that lobster was his thing and I had to offer him my plate to keep the peace
I had cooked goose for most of the people but a trout for the RA sufferer. He 14 y.o. daughter saw this and said had she known there was a choice, she would have said she had RA too.
So there was goose, gammon, a multitude of vegetables ( none of them plain boiled, a great assortment of accompaniments.which I had started preparing at 6 a.m.
I had thought of everything!
No.
One d-i-law reached into her capacious bag and brought out a large bottle of chili sauce with which she liberally doused everything
At the end of my tether I muttered, 'We do not do that sort of thing in this country' She got up and spent the next day in her room.
My son said' Mother, she finds your food too bland'

That was the last 'family ' Christmas I catered for. What a relief.
The following year they flew in and self catered...... and d-i l offered food to the rest of the family
Absolutely fine except that the eldest daughters wanted to eat with me as they'' found granny's food tasted better than mummy's''

Nothing so devisive as families

CafeAuLait

Blossoming

As they are guests I would do my best to make them feel welcome and comfortable, including serving food they would enjoy. I’m not veggie but we don’t eat meat with every meal.

What if making them comfortable means not serving meat and expecting everyone else to only eat vegan around them? As in my post above. Curious what you might think about that.

Why the aggression? As I said, I would do my best to make them feel welcome and comfortable. Otherwise, why invite them when you clearly don’t want them in your home.

My daughter and twin daughters are vegetarian, while her husband, son and myself are not.
When I have been invited for a meal, she usually does some sort of meat with potatoes and veg and for the vegetarians a suitable option to add to the potatoes and veg.
She is used to it as every day she has to make two separate meals but says it’s easy as most of the meal can be eaten by everyone.

I have a few pescetarian friends as well as the odd vegetarian. Both pescetarians cook meat for their families too so it isn't too much of a problem. My worst ever experience was doing a family Christmas meal with my brother in law coming. He had recently become vegetarian so I had to do a nut roast as well as turkey and separate vegetarian gravy as I wanted giblet gravy with the turkey. The biggest difficulty was fitting everything on and in the cooker and enough saucepans!

My usual go-to is a vegetarian dish which can act as the main for the vegetarian and as a side for the meat eaters. I only struggle if they are dairy free as the dish often has cheese on top. I've yet to cater for a vegan and I think I'd find that stressful, but gone are the days when vegetarians were simply offered cauliflower cheese!