Friends when it suits them

No, not a friend. I would not respond to her contact and just tell her you are busy. Freeloaders are not friends.

that's how it happened. you were vulnerable, and like sharks they smell prey and move in for the devouring.
when they've squeezed everything they can out of you, they move on to the next victim.

I've had experience like this. Years ago, when I was living alone, I was new to the area and going through divorce etc. Two women who were close friends introduced themselves to me. Everything was ok to start with, I drive and had a car but neither of them drove. We used to go out together to garden centres etc. One of them was a smoker and would frequently ask to smoke in the car which I never allowed anyone to do so she used to want me to pull over into a layby so she could have a cigarette.
Me being too soft went along with it. The friendship developed and there was a vague suggestion about having a meal. The local pub was a good option and it was less than a mile away so I thought it not unreasonable for the three of us to walk there; I never drink and drive and hoped to have a glass of wine with dinner. Well, you would have thought I'd asked them to walk to the moon, what a palaver that was!
Next time, I suggested we take it in turns to cook. I started it off by cooking first and made a point of checking with them for dietary requirements, allergies etc. Message came back, no special requirements, we eat anything and everything.........I made a salad starter, a spaghetti bolognese and ice cream for dessert........you've guessed it.......".oh, we don't like that, can you drive us to the pub for something else?" ??
Then it was their turn to decide on the next date and menu. I worked full time and mentioned that I couldn't get to their place before 6.30 on the designated evening.
I committed the cardinal sin of arriving at 6.32 to a verbal onslaught along the lines of "you're late, we are hungry, what kept you?!" Their meal comprised of sandwiches, nuts and one bag of crisps between the three of us! Never again! I moved out shortly afterwards as I bought my own place.
I really did feel taken for granted and used though. Just when I needed a friend too!

Block her calls and ask your daughter to do the same. If you bump into her just say that both you and your daughter are very busy but hope she manages to get the professional advice she needs. That's it, make excuses to leave and bid farewell.

Block her number or just don't pick up the phone. People like this are no friends to you!

Great advice ..

I agree with Aggie here. Why beat about the bush , when this " friend" has been so blatantly obvious in her motives for contacting you .

yes, and you can have the satisfaction of coming back here and telling us how good you feel when you have avoided her manipulations.

If she rings just put the phone down on her, she'll get the message.

Tell her the truth..no need to be aggressive but she needs to be told.

I work in taxation and my Other Half, in particular, has learned not to tell his associates what I do. We became accustomed to the “dinner invitations” which were really a cover for a free discussion on tax advice.
Now my husband knows that my Professional Indemnity insurance doesn't cover free advice, particularly to non-clients, so I don't give it.

Don't sweat this. Don't return calls. If she catches you just tell her no thanks, life is too hectic at the moment and leave it at that. Enough rejection and she will focus elsewhere. Tell your daughter you misinterpreted her friendship and that she is free to disengage with her (although it already looks like she is).

We all need our USER alert on ....I have often been asked to give tuition and have always answered straight away with a take- it- or leave it price ... my time is precious and I would prefer to give tuition then use the cash to pay someone to do the garden/ DIY/ cleaning ....but I will absolutely not work for nothing.

The way I see this, she had fallouts with five people and are you number 6 person? Obviously hasn’t learnt a lesson along the way has she, so she needs telling, she doesn’t appear to be bothered if she’s continuing to conduct herself in this way, she needs putting in her place. And that’s to be told! Can’t stand users

Just be honest.Say l'm sorry but l dont like being used and niether does my daughter so please dont contact her or myself again.Goodbye.

Block this persons calls otherwise she is never going to stop harassing you or D.

There are plenty of people out there like this, certainly in my world. You only get contact when they need something and hardly ever to simply say ‘how are you?’ There are also many who pre Covid, forget that they too have a kettle etc to make ME a cup of tea!! I’m no good at taking my own advice but try to remember people don’t know exactly what you’re doing in your life, so if you can’t ignore her calls or texts, definitely say you’re busy. It’s never easy if you’re the kind sensitive one

To echo everyone else; either block her or tell her that you do not appreciate the way she only contacts you when she wants free help from your DD.

You deserve better than this.

I befriended a new U3A member. Newly widowed, and moved back from abroad. She doesn’t drive, so I ran her about while she was buying a house. My son fitted a new garden gate for her, and cut down and cleared away some trees. I took her to the garden centre for plants, and we got on very well. Then lockdown came. I phoned her a few times to see how she was coping, but never received any calls from her, or even a Christmas card.
I have realised that she is all take and no give, and will be backing off when U3A resumes. Friendship has to work in both directions.

I have encountered many folk like this in my life. Now I do not trust anyone who seems over friendly.

Likewise, my husband who is an IT Consultant. Friends, even distant acquaintances of neighbours, or friends of friends he didn't even know have over the years make contact expecting totally free IT work, some wanting the equivalent of 10/12 hours work....for free!!

A friend where we are rurally here had a new family move in beside her, and after being friendly and welcoming to them, within days the young woman came to the door, and was expecting her to have the 2 children off the school bus every weekday for 2 hours until the couple got home!! The most outrageous bit - she told my friend they couldn't afford to pay her though, having just bought this huge house. They had a top of the range Audi and a new BMW. When my friend - who is involved in lots of things, has her own grandchildren and is out a lot - said 'no' she couldn't do that, the young woman stormed off saying she wasn't being very neighbourly!!! She has never spoken to my friend or her husband since, which has been quite awkward in a rural community.

'Users' spoil it for everyone, as eventually we become very wary of becoming friendly with anyone.

Such a cheek ignore her you don’t need people like her around.

Hippychick57
The saying isn’t exclusive to MN. The book came out in 1997.

Sometimes we can go through a kind of grieving process when we realise we need to let go of unhealthy relationships

Nature abhors a vacuum and maybe there are more,positive friendships around the corner
Maybe this has been a valuable lesson in where you invest1your emotional energy-nothing is wasted it can be hard not to keep trying to resolve an unsatisfactory situation and walk away'letting go'
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

Thanks for sharing -an interesting t

Givers, and takers - people seem to be one or the other. People can be so clever when they are 'takers' - full of enthusiasm for friendship with you and then, as you have sadly found, they are using you to get something free. This person won't have any real friends, and I would certainly block her number. If she sees you face to face on any occasion, smile and say that neither you nor your daughter have time to give free advice - and walk away.

I would like to think I would say I was annoyed she had abused my daughter's initial good nature and had been contacting her to get advice when my daughter had already indicated she was busy. I would therefore not wish to continue this acquaintance. In reality, as I'm a bit of a coward, I'd probably just block her number and hope for the best that I didn't see her again.

Years ago the daughter of a friend of our asked us round for an evening meal. We were pleasantly surprised and accepted. The reason for the invite became clear after the meal. She had just started selling some American cleaning products - I think the company is/was called Amway - and, from my recollection, wanted us either to buy some of the products or to become agents.

Fortunately, that has been my only experience of insincere offers of hospitality or friendship.