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1st time grandfather w/ Granddaughter

(14 Posts)
shanewest Tue 13-Apr-21 23:41:49

My wife and I have 3 sons 21,20,16

We were just blessed to be first time grandparents to a beautiful, healthy, baby girl.

Not sure why but I’m have a struggle connecting with her. She is 5 weeks old and only 7.5 pounds.

My 3 sons I connected with from their first breath forward. With this beautiful granddaughter it seems it’s not the same! I have a deep love for her but not a connection if that makes sense.

Anyone have advise?

crazyH Tue 13-Apr-21 23:49:39

She’s 5 weeks old Shanewest !! You’re too keen and anxious, as most of us would be. All my children were around 7.5 Llbs. Don’t worry - everything’s going to be fine. Congratulations on becoming a first time grandparents flowers

V3ra Wed 14-Apr-21 00:06:08

You will, just give it time. She's not your child so everything is one step removed.
For now, take pleasure in watching your son and his partner starting out as parents together. Your granddaughter needs to bond with them first.
Focus on what you can do to support them: the practical things and reassuring them they're doing a great job.
Your time will come 😊

Ro60 Wed 14-Apr-21 00:17:32

Congratulations! 💐
As above.
It is different as OP said. But less of the messy bits.

Redhead56 Wed 14-Apr-21 00:27:07

Congratulations she is unique and you know it you will in time have a special bond💐

welbeck Wed 14-Apr-21 02:13:40

of course you do not feel the same as you did with your sons, you are not the parent this time.
you are one step removed.
it seems an unrealistic expectation to me.
by the way, do you mean at 5 weeks, she is still only 7.5 lbs.
was she premature, or needed special care.
all the best.

Lolo81 Wed 14-Apr-21 03:54:15

My dad said to me that he felt the same when my oldest (his first GC) DD was born. That he only felt the connection properly when she started to react to him, smiling and babbling. By the time she was 2 they were the best of buddies and now as she is the only GD of the 5 grands, they have a lovely relationship which he says is different to that he has with his boys.

Give it time, you have many years ahead to forge a great relationship, and it will feel different, you’re not her dad. You get to do all the fun stuff!!

Congratulations on the new addition to the family.

Kim19 Wed 14-Apr-21 04:24:10

Congratulations! Relationships take time if they're to be worthwhile. Go gently. You'll find it deeply rewarding if my experience is anything to go by. Absolute bliss for me and I started out as a decidedly unenthusiastic GP. Enjoy.

Oopsadaisy1 Wed 14-Apr-21 07:00:43

They say that you love your children but you fall in love with your Grandchildren, give it time...........

sodapop Wed 14-Apr-21 09:19:20

I don't understand why you expect to feel the same way as you did with your own children
shanewest she is your granddaughter. Don't over think this the baby is five weeks old and you won't have had a lot of contact yet.
Congratulations and just enjoy loving the whole new family.

maydonoz Wed 14-Apr-21 18:18:22

Hi Shanewest
Congrats on becoming a grandparent for the first time. I think you need to take a step back for the moment, it's early days to have a relationship with your baby granddaughter, it will all happen in time.
Of course it's different to being a parent. Just try to be as supportive as you can with your son and family, there are lots of practical things you can do to help, like shopping, cooking etc if you are local to them.
Good luck, I'm sure you'll enjoy the time ahead with your new family.

vampirequeen Thu 15-Apr-21 09:04:25

Don't worry Shanewest. It will come with time. I was like that with my own children. I loved them but didn't connect with them immediately. I had to get to know them and they me.

grannyactivist Thu 15-Apr-21 09:11:02

Hi Shanewest, my husband was in the same situation even with our own children! We just accepted that he’s not a ‘baby’ person and we were right not to get anxious because as soon as the little ones could walk and talk he got on brilliantly well with them. He loves doing things with them now and they all adore him. In fact he dotes on them so much he’s changing his job, in part because he wants to spend more time with them before they start school.

Polarbear2 Thu 15-Apr-21 09:16:00


They say that you love your children but you fall in love with your Grandchildren, give it time...........

This ☝️☝️☝️ Everyone told me I would love my grandchildren instantly. I thought I must be weird because I didn’t. I cared but not ‘love’. I fell in love as Oopsadaisy says. I also think men don’t connect with tiny babies as much. They’re better once there’s a communication or recognition of sorts. Give it time. Relax. Enjoy.