In my definition of myself I am and have always been M0nica Smith, the name I was born with, not Mrs M0nica Brown. Also to be honest I liked my maiden name and never wanted to lose it, and while my DH's surname is relatively unusual, I do not really like it. There was at school with me with the same surname and I am conscious that, even then, I did not like it.
The other thing that I object to more as time passes is that the tradition of a woman dropping her maiden name and taking her husband's name was because, with marriage, she became his chattel, not a person, but a possession he had posessory rights over, with few or no rights of her own and this applied to their children as well.