Hugging

Absolutely agree with you! I come from a large family of huggers and I'm happy about it. But even before Covid I was fed up with the double kissing which Brits seem to have adopted when introduced to everyone, however casually. I don't expect anyone to go back to the days of shaking hands on introduction, as I was taught to do. (And taught my children.) I was at a party (goodness! two years ago now) and at least forty people kissed me on both cheeks, or even what I call the three times lunge. A friend who agrees with me on this says she's going to get a badge printed saying: I want to be kissed by my family, my friends and my dog, but anyone else - a smile will do.

I am concerned about all this coverage in the tabloids about
"Hugging is On" from next week and even Boris keeps on about the big Hug being back. I am not a touchy feely or even
Hugger type of person and never have been so from next week my world will be about the same the only thing good is we can meet in other family members homes.

I often used to see younger couples arms locked in hugging and kissing each other out in the street, all very nice but do it indoors not everyone wants to see it. With lockdown on I
never had to view that. Just realized I sound so miserable.

Aepgirl

I’m hoping that when I do eventually go back to church, there will not be a return to the hugging and kissing during The Peace (just about the least peaceful part of the service).

Amen!

I can’t WAIT. I’m from a very tactile family so it’s been really odd this past year.

I'm not a big hugger and wouldn't initiate, other than with children (my grandchildren). Like another poster I'm more concerned about the media coverage of the return of hugging: it never was against the law to hug, merely advice and a suggestion that one didn't. But then the government has allowed the public to believe that a few things were against the law whilst in truth they were only advice.

When it comes to greeting friends and acquaintances, I would be very happy to rub elbows, rather than hug. I hope that more and more people will take this up as a new form of greeting. In fact I intend to start fending off unwanted hugs with my elbow. I think people will quickly get the message!

I can't wait to hug my sons and they are both in their 30's. Haven't seen them since last August - but got night in hotel near them booked for June.

I'm with you. I'm not a hugger or kisser. I like a large personal space. I am warm, welcoming and affectionate l hope but l have never been comfortable with physical displays of affection.

I'm a hand shaker too, Grandtante. My 3 Sil always shake hands with one another and DH on meeting (wh is only a few times a year) and my GSs the same. When younger all my GC used to shout 'Bye, Granny' from halfway down the path.

I approach male acquaintances hand outstretched to forestall any attempt at social kissing. Imposs with close friends though. I don't think I could bring myself to put it in words so I try to hang back or somehow slip past - sometimes realise that they're trying to do the same.?

Never been a hugger

No friend hugging...ever! Have survived hugging close family for the last year and will continue to do so! At least you know where they’ve been and being as careful as I was......

I’m hoping that when I do eventually go back to church, there will not be a return to the hugging and kissing during The Peace (just about the least peaceful part of the service).

I have never been a hugger etc for grandson and my own boys. Before covid people would automatically go to hug me and it was a nightmare for me. I would step back and hold up my hand and say 'sorry I don't hug' some people took offence but others just accepted that I was just weird! Even my own relations know not to try! If I feel that a person really needs a hug I will suffer it (they've had a really bad time etc). But I am very uncomfortable doing it and never prolong physical contact. At least now you could use the worry of too close contact to avoid hugging?

I’m not a huggy person. But many years ago when my marriage broke up I felt terribly alone, especially at weekends when I wasn’t working. And I can still remember my SIL’s grandad giving me a hug one day and it made me so happy. When I was working if any of our patients were going through a bad time I wouldn’t say anything but, as they left I would go outside and hug them. I knew that sometimes people were just holding it together and it was best not to do so till they were leaving. Sometimes a hug is worth more than a thousand words.

Being hugged is for FAMILY. Anyone else - no thank you. But how to communicate that to the friendly husbands of friends!!?? Liberties - far too often for it to just be incidental.

Nannashirlz, I like your phrase! I think I'll use it - thanks! (I'm happy to hug family and close friends, but IMO some acquaintances do take liberties....)

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

The only ppl I hug are my boys and one of my daughter inlaws other one has never being a hugger. Obviously I hug my grandkids and don’t think I will ever stop with any of them. As with friends and distance family etc. I just smile and say hi ?‍♀️. If anyone tried to hug I’d step back and say sorry but with how the world is I’d rather we didn’t. Well that’s what I’m planning but I can’t see anyone else trying to be honest.

As children born in the Fifties and brought up in the Sixties, I don't recall seeing people hugging in the street or cafes.
In fact I'm of the opinion that it came about because of:
our entry to Europe:-)
Being able to enjoy foreign travel and the cafe culture.
Parents in the Sixties were still diligently teaching their children good manners, respect,etc.
I can't ever recall being hugged by my grandparents who I went out with often, but I knew they cared.
Having said all of that I am looking forward to hugging my grandchildren again. The last time I really hugged the youngest one (now aged 9) was on the 8th March 2020!!

I must admit I find it really odd that the prime minister is on national television telling people they will have permission to enter others houses, leave the country, enter a pub or restaurant, and hug people!! It is definitely a very strange time we are living in atm.

I am wondering why the government even thought it necessary to mention this.
It's all part of the cult of Johnson. People have got used to seeing what 'Boris' will allow them to do, and give him credit for the good bits.

I intend to keep a suitable distance away from those I have no interest in hugging - which means anyone outside the immediate family.

I may offer to shake hands instead.

If the huggers want to hug, I intend to say, "sorry, but I am really only comfortable hugging my immediate family".

I realise they may be hurt, but why should they have the right to impose their norms on me?

I’m not so sure that children above toddler age like being hugged anyway.

I think you could well be right. We always hugged and kissed our GC when they left us after babysitting or a meal here, but by the time they were 10 or so, it felt like mum and dad had to say, “Give Granny a kiss”, especially to GS. I compromised by dropping a kiss on the top of his head.

Now at 16 he towers over me. When they start seeing us again, it will just be a “Hi” and “Bye”;when they come and go.

Should say we have never been a demonstrative family. Think the last time DS gave me a kiss was after we left his wedding reception, 18 years ago. He gave me a hug and kiss, said “Thanks for everything. I love you Mum”.

And I know he does, without hugs and kisses all the time.

❤️

rubysong perhaps one of those sequinned T shirts that you can rub to change the message/picture. "Please Hug Me" or "Please Don't Hug Me"?

I am wondering why the government even thought it necessary to mention this. It was never enforceable to begin with but now, by saying it’s allowed it will make a lot of people, myself included, feel very uncomfortable when people start hugging me again. I think the same will apply to hand shaking - how do you refuse a handshake without appearing to be rude? I can’t wait to hug my grandchildren but that really is as far as I want to take it.