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Hugging

(89 Posts)
honeyrose Sun 09-May-21 22:33:44

Now that we’ll soon be able to hug again, I feel that I can dispense with this particular activity altogether! Does that make me sound a cold person? I’m really not cold at all, but I’m not keen on hugging friends, which seemed to have become the norm before lockdowns. How do I avoid hugging friends without potentially upsetting them? We have been told to keep it short anyway and to save hugging for our closest friends/family, but I don’t want to get back to hugging every time I meet a friend. I hug my 2 granddaughters a lot and am comfortable with this - they’re only 3!

effalump Thu 13-May-21 13:02:02

I've never really been comfortable with hugging unless it's with family. I would never initiate a hug. It's a bit like when people say 'Love you' at every opportunity. It just doesn't feel genuine.

Nannan2 Wed 12-May-21 10:29:57

I think youre right Lollin.Misschateline possibly wrong.to a certain extent..as for the hugs- just keep stood back a bit, enough for folk not to get near enough for a hug, or air kiss, or what ever, if they move towards you, just move back more, I'm sure they will get idea if you do so that you don't want to- if they don't just say I'm still not hugging thanks. My son gets changed a lot, especially if we go out, we all get showers, and get changed.He has OCD.

Lizzyflip Tue 11-May-21 22:08:59

I long for a hug from my 2 daughters. They've not hugged me since Christmas day (and that was a one off). My grandchildren hug me but their mums don't. I worry that I won't ever get another hug from them. [shrugging]

Harmonypuss Tue 11-May-21 21:52:13

If you want to hug, hug, if you don't want to, don't - simple really, no-one can force anyone to hug if they don't want to.

NoddingGanGan Tue 11-May-21 20:28:51

I hate hugging. Don't even like hugging my AC if I'm honest. I can just about cope with hugging GC if it's kept short. I have no idea why anyone likes to be pinned down by someone else's arms around them. confused

123kitty Tue 11-May-21 19:14:39

I've missed hugging my family and friends so much. I hadn't realised so many people were anti-huggers. I don't think older people are so used to hugging and kissing their friends.

songstress60 Tue 11-May-21 17:37:35

I am NOT a tactile person, and I do not mind admitting it. I once told an acquaintance not to hug me when she suggested I needed a hug. This is one part of the pandemic that I didn't miss. I believe you should respect people's wishes.

Jaxjacky Tue 11-May-21 17:08:58

I’m a hugger, as my family always have been and we don’t mind the cheek ‘kiss’, we got used to it in France, but not encountered it here.

varian Tue 11-May-21 17:00:26

I really like to hug my loved ones and have missed that over the last year, but I have not missed the meaningless, and sometimes embarrassing social kissing that seemed to get out of control about ten or fifteen years ago.

In our little village all the locals would congregate in the small bar of the pub on a Friday night. We were jammed in like sardines. Drinks were passed over heads in all directions and everyone was kissing everyone else.

I don't see us returning to that anytime soon.

grannybuy Tue 11-May-21 16:54:30

I'm not a hugger. I was born in 1948, and my mother ( youngest of nine ) often said over the years that they ' weren't brought up like that '. I can't recall my parents or granny ever hugging me. I think of hugging as a means of showing love or comfort, not as a hello or goodbye thing. I do hug my DGC, though, as other posters have said, once they reach a certain age, they're not so keen!

Jacquetta Tue 11-May-21 16:31:46

I didn't hug before, and I shan't hug now.
Family, grandchildren. And that's my lot.
What's the obsession on flipping hugging? !!????????,

CrazyGrandma2 Tue 11-May-21 16:27:59

AmberSpyglass

I can’t WAIT. I’m from a very tactile family so it’s been really odd this past year.

AmberSpyglass what a relief! I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me as I am also a hugger - but only with people who I know enjoy a hug. Anyone else, I would ask if a hug was appropriate. To me a hug is usually life enhancing. Being so distant from everyone has been very strange this past year.

aonk Tue 11-May-21 16:27:25

I’m really at a loss to understand what’s going on here. Everyone must do as they see fit. It’s not a matter for general comment but an individual choice.
Last week my DIL was 40. We visited in the garden on her birthday. I hugged her on her special day but just blew kisses to her mum and sister who I would formerly have hugged. My choice. My DH just waved and sat apart. His choice. No offence given or taken.

Vlsnoozy49 Tue 11-May-21 15:42:55

I am not a hugger or an air kisser .Hello it’s good to see ,does me fine .

Kali2 Tue 11-May-21 15:31:22

kjmpde

what is the obsession and i do mean an obsession with hugging? i fully accept that giving a hug or two to grandkids is fine but why do people feel they have to smother you with their body? i hate and i do mean hate it. I don't see the need to shake hands either - probably as I'm retired and no longer needed. To me the one good thing about covid is people keeping their distance. I'm happy to chat, to help out others but would happily pay not to have to touch people.

Honestly, what about this British obsession with not hugging or touching?

Yammy Tue 11-May-21 15:25:52

DH and I were just talking about this last night. We were brought up non-huggers in fact non-kissers. No bedtime kiss from parents a story yes and tucked in. Only saw my parents hug and kiss on New Year.
I had to learn to do it when I moved when older, colleagues of my husbands used to do it on purpose to see me freeze and say I was from the frozen north.
Both SIL 's are from the south and do it automatically, but know not to make it a big event. Their daughters hug and their sons are not so keen.
I'm quite happy as things are and wouldn't mind if it stayed that way. Except I would love to put the grandchildren on my knee when we eventually see them.
Is it a north /south thing that northerners have adopted or had to?

Coco51 Tue 11-May-21 15:17:42

Haha - I can even hug my exDH and his wifesmile Really!

kjmpde Tue 11-May-21 15:07:01

what is the obsession and i do mean an obsession with hugging? i fully accept that giving a hug or two to grandkids is fine but why do people feel they have to smother you with their body? i hate and i do mean hate it. I don't see the need to shake hands either - probably as I'm retired and no longer needed. To me the one good thing about covid is people keeping their distance. I'm happy to chat, to help out others but would happily pay not to have to touch people.

GreenGran78 Tue 11-May-21 14:58:00

Skunkhair63. I find the elbow or fist-bumping thing even more awkward than hugging. Whenever I see someone doing it I feel like laughing, but it seems to be quite common now. As for hugging, I will reserve that for family, with an extra big one saved for my little GS, 1 year old yesterday, when I finally meet him.

Dianehillbilly1957 Tue 11-May-21 14:29:26

I'm like you, I struggle with the hugging thing, we only ever kept it for close family, now it seems expected to hug virtual strangers! And as for air kissing, waste of a breath!!!

annodomini Tue 11-May-21 14:24:41

If I could get on a train this minute and go north to hug my sister or south to hug my family, I'd be there like a shot. After all these months, I need the reassurance of close contact with the people I love. I won't go and hug friends if I suspect they would take offence, but there are others I know would love to be hugged as much as I would. There! I have confessed: I am a hugger!

Alioop Tue 11-May-21 13:48:37

I'm fine without hugs, we were never a huggy family, so only friends would really do it. They know how I've been about Covid, a bit OTT probably, so I don't think they will be rushing to hug me anyway in case I'd freak out.

Purplepixie Tue 11-May-21 13:31:05

I love hugs especially from my kids and grand kids. Friends are different and I don’t think we will ever get back to way things were. Who knows? ?

Mercedes55 Tue 11-May-21 13:26:23

I'm not much of a hugger either although I had kind of become one since my son got married back in 2005 and I realised just how huggy DIL was, so I made an effort to hug her, my son and GD and always my mum too, although can't say I have ever enjoyed it!

Yesterday was my mum's 98th Birthday and my sister went to see her and hugged her, which I wasn't happy about with my mum being so old. My sister then took my mum out to see a friend of hers and the friend also hugged my mum, which I found a bit odd as my mum doesn't really know this person and I know my mum has been trying really hard to follow all the guidelines.

Daisend1 Tue 11-May-21 13:05:57

rafiechagran
Nor me.
I don't mind a 'squeeze' and done with'.
Hugs can take too long.