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Did your Mum ever say she loved you?

(178 Posts)
Foxglove77 Sun 13-Jun-21 18:07:32

Just that really. I can't remember my Mum ever saying that to me, although she hugged me when my old dog was pts. So I was surprised when my brother called her and at the end of the call, she tried to hide and said I love you too.

I've never said it to my children which I feel sad about now, but my grand daughter says I love you Nanny quite often. I always say I love you too.

Is it an endearment you pick up from your parents?

Shirlb Wed 16-Jun-21 10:15:03

No no kissing or hugging ?

Fran72 Wed 16-Jun-21 10:13:29

Now I think about, she never did. Neither did my father. They are both gone now but I was never in doubt that they loved me. I tell my children and grandchildren I love them often and they tell me. Different times and ways.

Lulubelle500 Wed 16-Jun-21 10:13:03

Your post made me think, and I don't remember her ever saying it but I've just always known she did. I had an exceptionally happy childhood which I took for granted at the time and didn't realise it until other people told me about theirs. For some reason I've always said it to my children and notice they say it to theirs. Perhaps it's a generation thing.

jenni123 Wed 16-Jun-21 10:09:37

My parents took good care of us, we always had food, clothes and toys, but they never said the words 'I love you', I did think it maybe because we were adopted. I vowed not to let my children ask 'did Mum ever say she loved us? I did find it hard at first but I now tell my children and grandchildren all the time. Looking back I think it may have been a sign of the times.

theworriedwell Wed 16-Jun-21 10:09:05

Probably not but I knew I was loved so I don't think it mattered.

Breda Wed 16-Jun-21 10:05:46

No never, although my mother did make a point of telling me that she had never loved me!

Smileless2012 Wed 16-Jun-21 09:36:21

Mum would tell me she loved me as a child and an adult. Her mum didn't when mum was a child but did later in life to mum and her GC.

Mollygo Wed 16-Jun-21 09:14:06

Mum often sang ‘I love you and don’t you forget it’ to us when we were younger. Dad was away a lot and not so verbally demonstrative, though he was a hugger.
There was always a hug for a hurt or at bedtime. Even as adults, as we leave there’s a hug and a ‘don’t forget to ring when you get home.
We say ‘love you’ a lot more than than they used to, but I don’t think it was lack of love, just different times.

Chewbacca Wed 16-Jun-21 09:00:19

Never. Not in word or deed.

Elizabeth1 Wed 16-Jun-21 08:21:21

No way it wasn’t the done thing in that generation, thankfully things are more tactile these days, I say it to my son and daughter they say it back to me . Hurrah for change

Maria59 Wed 16-Jun-21 07:22:47

No never

Nansnet Wed 16-Jun-21 04:43:59

As a child I remember my mum saying she loved me, but not really as an adult, although I knew she did. She came from a family that isn't big on showing signs of affection, or voicing them, even though they all love each other. I think it often depends on the way you're brought up.

However, my dad's large family are all very close, and have always said, "Love you" to each other. My dad told me he loved me every time I spoke to him, right up until the day he passed away. When mum was terminally ill I realised that whilst I always told my dad I loved him, I rarely said it to my mum, which I regretted. I made sure she knew how much I loved her when she was ill, but I wished I'd done it more often. That experience actually brought my DD and I closer together, and we now always tell each other, "Love you", after every phone/video call. My DS, on the other hand, is not a person who says it often, and he doesn't like displays of affection, but when he's had a few drinks he'll often put his arms around me and say, "I really love you, mum!" That means the world to me.

I do think Kate1949 is correct though, saying, surely you know whether someone loves you without them saying so. It really isn't just about words.

DillytheGardener Wed 16-Jun-21 00:04:24

Yes, my mother was very demonstrative and cuddly. With my own children, they are now both abroad and I wish I could be a bit more soppy so they know they are loved, but I’ve always struggled with displays of affection. Nothing to do with my parents bless them, they made us children feel very safe and loved.

NotSpaghetti Tue 15-Jun-21 23:46:20

So true Kate.

Kate1949 Mon 14-Jun-21 12:29:04

I was brought up in the '50s/'60s. I don't remember anyone ever telling someone they loved them except in films.
Our household was violent and chaotic. Love didn't come into it. Surely you know whether someone loves you without them saying so. The word is bandied about now by all and sundry.

Buttonjugs Mon 14-Jun-21 12:29:02

My mother did but I remember her being hurt when I started refusing to be kissed as a child.. Also, she was big on words and hugs but very selfish in her actions. Worked full time and out every night.

SueSocks Mon 14-Jun-21 12:22:00

No never. She always made it clear that I was a mistake. She also made it clear that she didn't like me. We were just totally different people, she got on so much better with my younger sister, who experienced a totally different childhood from me. No slaps or "clips round the ear" for her. I lived most of my childhood in fear of my mother, my sister didn't experience this. My mother was also jealous of my relationship with my dad, hated us to spend time together. The way that I was treated by her has contributed to my social anxiety and depression which has existed to this day. I have never been able to fit into groups, or make & keep friends, I still have this feeling of not being wanted & lack of confidence.

moggie57 Mon 14-Jun-21 12:17:23

Neither of my parents did.mum was adopted and bought up with Methodists was very happy too.dad came from a large family of 13. So it was a rough way to grow up.grandma was great raising that many kids.so no neither said I love you.first time I hugged my mum was about 1997 about a year before she died.was taught to hug at church.my dad used to hug me when he cane home from work I would be about 4 then .so we don't come from a "loving" family.Shame really .

rockgran Mon 14-Jun-21 11:58:51

I can't remember it being said as such but I knew our parents loved us very much and showed it in their actions. The words on their own mean little.

Ailidh Mon 14-Jun-21 11:31:18

No. I always assumed she did, though.

henetha Mon 14-Jun-21 11:22:25

No. Absolutely not. Never.

sodapop Mon 14-Jun-21 08:18:15

? Sparklefizz ?

Sago Mon 14-Jun-21 08:08:44

No, she was a narcissist.

Nannee49 Mon 14-Jun-21 07:46:52

My mum used to sing it to me. "I love you, yes I do, I love you" the opening line to the old song "It's a sin to tell a lie".

harrigran Mon 14-Jun-21 07:46:27

No, never.
I got the impression I was just a nuisance to be tolerated.