Are you a family carer with siblings across the world?

That's good to know JaneJudge. I will suggest the carers assessment but I am now sure how it will be welcomed - a very busy person with a very busy job and not inclined (in the nicest way possible) to expect anything for themself.

Greenlady I think they hold both POA's, certainly the finance one. The carer has already started putting reminder notes up for the parent so is beginning to make a list and checking what they can and will do and what they can't or won't.

Thank you all for helping. You probably all know what a difference it makes just to talk and issue over with kind people prepared to share their knowledge but it's worth saying again what help it is.

I think the overseas sibling is struggling with not being able to come in an emergency. Not coming to see family and friends is bad enough, of course, but I will say they are doing all they can and phone calls and video calls of normal family stuff is probable all - but a very important 'all' - they can do at the moment.

to all you kind posters

OT work weekends here Pippa, so maybe that would help? She/he needs to ask social services for a carers assessment as well

I think there may not be as much getting in touch and organising as they think....do they hold a POA? If there is only the carer and the person they care for then SS will just do the assessing and go from there My best advice is to make notes so nothing is missed...what are the problems, what does the carer want to see happen. basic stuff

greenlady102, that answers my question, thank you. I think they will have to go to the social services sooner rather than later but the one thing the carer could use is time and all the getting in touch and organising meetings is very time-consuming. Probably no way around it though.

I found it so difficult to suggest what the overseas sibling could do to help as I couldn't think of anything my brother could have done other than telling me he appreciated what I was doing - which he did and I am sure my questioner does too.

PippaZ

An assessment of needs greenlady102.

This is someone caring for a parent who is still in their own home but has multiple challenges. I remembered my mother being re-assessed for care needs when I was caring for her and wondered if this could be done privately as we (those caring) often don't know what is a) possible and b) needed as we just carry on carrying on. It was just a thought. If it could be done it might clarify the next step for them.

This is a carer with a sibling living abroad, as I was which is why I was asked.

sorry, I was doing two things at once and put that badly. Do you want to access health or social care funding or equipment? Because if you do then the assessment needs to be done by someone who can access those things and private professionals mostly can't, although they can provide initial reports and point you in the right direction.

I am a retired Occupational Therapist and no longer registered but there are private OTs who will come and make assessments and suggestions about caring equipment, mobility, the environment, respite and so on. You need to google for one who is local to you and then talk to them about what you want and what it will cost. Its more than 10 years now since I retired, so I have no idea on pricing.
Obvs I know less about whether there are nurses who will do the same thing but unless the person is completely bedbound and only needs nursing care then I think an OT would be a better choice....actually i think if the disabled person is that dependent then best to go straight to social services or the person's doctor and just say they are in crisis and not coping as the risk of pressure sores for one means that its urgent.

I hope this helps, shout if you have questions

An assessment of needs greenlady102.

This is someone caring for a parent who is still in their own home but has multiple challenges. I remembered my mother being re-assessed for care needs when I was caring for her and wondered if this could be done privately as we (those caring) often don't know what is a) possible and b) needed as we just carry on carrying on. It was just a thought. If it could be done it might clarify the next step for them.

This is a carer with a sibling living abroad, as I was which is why I was asked.

is this someone caring for a disabled child (whatever the age) as the first thing to do is to encourage them to engage in services

i know I moan on here but adult social services are quite useful in signposting to families what is available even if they don't initially get involved

sorry if i am way off the mark

PippaZ

That's would be useful sodapop. They have just reached one of those points where things will have to change and, as those who have done this will know, changing/moving to the next stage is such a long-winded affair.

You have made me wonder if there is someone who could privately do an assessment for them rather than waiting for the council. I wonder if anyone has done this?

an assessment of what?

Teacheranne We did this too for my SiL - we lived too far away to be useful on a daily basis with ailing FiL but three or four times a year went to visit for a week so SiL could have a break. She always knew that we were there to help financially if it was needed but it wasn't.

We usually took SiL out for a meal while we were there and spent some evenings with her so she could have a good whinge too, as FiL was a very difficult man at the best of times, and it helped her get things off her chest.

That's would be useful sodapop. They have just reached one of those points where things will have to change and, as those who have done this will know, changing/moving to the next stage is such a long-winded affair.

You have made me wonder if there is someone who could privately do an assessment for them rather than waiting for the council. I wonder if anyone has done this?

Before the pandemic and when my mum was still living at home with our support, my sister who lived in the US used to come over for a visit twice a year to give me and my sister a break from our caring responsibilities.

Pay for some respite for the close at hand carer maybe.