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Do you have feelings of loneliness and regret?

(19 Posts)
JPB123 Wed 23-Jun-21 13:20:21

I have been happy with my life but isolation during lockdown made me think a great deal. Now I feel lonely,friends gave passed away or moved ,I live alone.I used to like living on my own,why not now?

eazybee Wed 23-Jun-21 14:09:32

Living on your own does not mean living in isolation, but because of covid normal social interaction has all but vanished: shopping, visiting friends, cinema, theatre, concerts, library, family and friends, all things which broke up the day are now restricted, so naturally you spend more time with your own, unrelieved, thoughts.
They will return and so will normal life.

nadateturbe Wed 23-Jun-21 14:39:54

We have had too much time for thinking. You're not alone.
I think we have to make a huge effort to get back to some kind of normal....and stop thinking so nuch! It's not healthy.

DiscoDancer1975 Wed 23-Jun-21 15:08:02

We’ll get it back. We’ve come this far, don’t give up now. Remember you’re not alone in your thinking 💐

Shelflife Wed 23-Jun-21 15:54:03

JPB123,
I wish you well , I am not alone - fortunately , however I too have periods of feeling lonely. Have missed social interaction, lunch with friends and family. Disco Dancer is correct we will get it back ! In the meantime I hope you begin to feel happier and more content.

AGAA4 Wed 23-Jun-21 16:11:45

nadateturbe

We have had too much time for thinking. You're not alone.
I think we have to make a huge effort to get back to some kind of normal....and stop thinking so nuch! It's not healthy.

Yes. Thinking in a negative way will make you feel lost and lonely. If I start thinking too much I find something absorbing to do and the feeling goes away.

JPB123 Wed 23-Jun-21 18:48:17

I meant "have"!

Redhead56 Wed 23-Jun-21 19:18:34

My close friends have become ill through lock down. My friends husband had starting suffering with depression and more recently anxiety. Its upsetting because he is usually a strong minded hardworking good man in every respect.
The frustrations of the rules about COVID have driven him to distraction. He calls it social control like us he has stuck to the rules. But he reckons he has had too much time to dwell on things.
My friend who only retired recently now has heart trouble worrying about her husbands mental health.
Now that things are opening up more get yourself out and busy. I have had my very sad days but forced myself not to sit and think too much. You are not alone you have us for company too. 💐

MoorlandMooner Thu 24-Jun-21 17:59:58

You're not alone JPB123. I have had similar feelings this last year which is not like me at all.
I'm usually too busy for reflection and realised that lockdown had given me the time to grieve properly for people who aren't in my life any more. I'd tried to fight the sadness, but realised it might be a part of delayed grieving process and I let myself feel it. It wasn't nice but I was kind to myself through the process and am now coming out of the other side with a lot more optimism and my old love of life returning. It really helps that I can now see friends and do more normal things...we humans weren't meant to have no contact with others!
I'm not a massively social person, but I'd not realised how important my small interactions were to me until they were gone. All that bad news feels so much worse when there's no happy, normal stuff to counter it.
Hopefully this period of gloominess has cleared out a lot of hidden sadness and a heaviness we didn't realise we were carrying with us.

BBbevan Thu 24-Jun-21 18:32:18

Loneliness no, as I have a lovely DH. Regret, yes, I found out recently that someone I had loved very much when I was young had died. I can’t get him out of my head at the moment.

MawBe Thu 24-Jun-21 18:43:04

I agree absolutely- when my husband was alive I used to long to have the house to myself sometimes, to be free to do just what I wanted.
After his death I had that freedom and regretted every minute, feeling guilty at even simple family meetings.
Being alone need not necessarily mean being lonely but lockdown gave us all far more time alone than anybody needed - and as been sad upthread, too much one for reflection.
Start up again gently, if at first there is nobody to go for a coffee with, take a book and just enjoy a cuppa and a cake on your own. Or have a browse around a favourite shop, or a walk in a park
You will soon think of others who would welcome your company but don’t worry if it doesn’t happen all at once.

JPB123 Sun 27-Jun-21 19:05:30

It's so lonely not being able to enjoy the way things were before lockdown.Any ideas for filling my solitary
evenings..?

JPB123 Sun 27-Jun-21 19:06:49

Good idea x

Floradora9 Mon 28-Jun-21 19:01:58

I find it so sad that all the best friends I had have died . We used to have a great social life but it has gone . How I miss the chats we had with our old friends they seemed to be on the same wavelength as me .

nadateturbe Tue 29-Jun-21 09:24:28

It's one of the sad things about getting older Floradora9 flowers Losing those you have shared long close friendships with, and have such happy memories of. I just try to tell myself I was blessed to have had them in my life. But how I miss them.

Shropshirelass Tue 29-Jun-21 09:26:22

You don’t have to be living alone to feel lonely. Many people feel lonely within a relationship. I know I do!

henetha Tue 29-Jun-21 09:31:10

Yes, it's very easy to slip into feeling this way. I have to give myself lots of mental shakeups to remain sane.

Caleo Tue 29-Jun-21 11:29:49

Same here, Henetha. What I do when find myself ruminating is divert my attention with TV , the internet, or a good read.

Caleo Tue 29-Jun-21 11:30:40

PS or a tidy-up round the garden and throw sticks for the dog, if I have the energy