What does this phrase mean to you

sharon103

You can’t have your cake and eat it too is a phrase that means there are two options that someone wants, but they can’t have both because the options conflict with each other, so they can only pick one.

Well maybe they should only pick one option but a lot of people WANT to have their cake and eat it and so they do just that. They do both things. This may not end well of course because as we all know.....you can't have your cake and eat it. Somewhere along the line this will likely cause problems, but that may not stop them taking that path.

Doing what you want, having all the good bits in a relationship but none of the bad real life gritty bits is selfish but the phrase having your cake and eating it does not apply to that example.

Sharon103 explains the meaning of the phrase perfectly. It cannot be applied to the scenario you detail in your last post at 17:14:26

Generally speaking, OP, if you are trying to do things that will bother other people and you still continue to do it - it is selfish

Need more details about your situation as details are too vague

It was just a conversation I had with my daughter when I said to her that you want your cake andceat it. She was talking about the relationship she is in. He wants to move in with her and he has temporary but she now sees wee things she doesn't like. Minor things but she preferred it when they just go out to pubs and nights away etc and that is why I said the phrase. I now think that the phrase means to make a choice of one thing or another but on the other hand, if you do get best of both worlds, to me you are still getting your cake and eating it. She is interested in your opinions and says does not everyone want that. That's what is confusing isn't it, no right or wrong answers and just opinions. Maybe I'm jealous as I'm married and get the bad with good haha

Ooh no no no Callistemon not at all like a man, HE would most likely hire a nanny and a cleaner and continue as before

SueDonim

sharon103

You can’t have your cake and eat it too is a phrase that means there are two options that someone wants, but they can’t have both because the options conflict with each other, so they can only pick one.

This is the meaning that I understand. It’s what you see in small children such as a toddler wanting their pizza cut up but then crying because the pizza is broken.

Yes, exactly that (I cry when my slice of pizza has been eaten.)?

To be honest if she ( your daughter) is seeing things she doesn’t like when her partner has temporarily moved in then she isn’t with the right man is she ? Forget the metaphors and sayings but look at the relationship itself

To me, it means wanting both sides of a choice - the literal meaning is eating your cake now, but also having it waiting in the cake-tin for eating in the future.

It means having a spouse and a family for everyday security, but also a lover for exciting passsionate secret meetings.

It means taking your pension as a lump sum and spending it all in one go on a long luxury round-the-world cruise, while at the same time it stays solidly invested to give you a generous income for the rest of your life.

There is another saying, too, that means almost the same thing - "He wants his bread buttered on both sides!"

Sorry, didnt understand the conversation you had with your daughter

He wants to move in, there are things she doesnt like much about him, and she likes going together for nights away or pubs... trying to make sense how nights away has to do with moving in together.

I dont see how the cake sentence makes sense in this situation.

If your dd doesnt like things about her partner, she should consider if they are compatible long term.

Having the security of marriage but a bit on the side as well.

The cake saying would only make sense if she were planning to have him move in and have an exclusive relationship with him, while simultaneously planning to join a dating site and have sex with all the people she links up with on it. Totally imcompatible projects, which she wants to have both of.

I understand now that the cake question doesn't really fit in with my daughters predicament. Looking at the various comments, there are 2 different conversations I'm having with my daughter. As for her relationship with him, she says she loves him and he loves her so she'll have to compromise with the wee niggles

You can’t keep something and devour it . Once you have eaten it, it is gone.

Daft expression anyway since you could do both if you had enough cake.

nanna8

You can’t keep something and devour it . Once you have eaten it, it is gone.

I think that's it!

Once it's gone, it's gone.

But "eat your cake" would mean eating ALL the cake you had.

in my neck of the woods there is a local saying that has the same meaning
you can't have the spice [meaning sweets] and the halfpenny. So you can have the sweets for which you pay your halfpenny, and you have no halfpenny, or you have no sweets and your half penny

Elegran

But "eat your cake" would mean eating ALL the cake you had.

Not difficult!

I like oodles definition ?

Wanting to have your cake and eat it to me means you have options on a situation but they conflict with what you want to do to achieve the end result.

It's a weird saying, why bother to have a cake if you can't eat it?

I think that phrase could well be applied to Harry and Meghan!

I think the saying does apply here. She likes the man but would prefer not to have the wee niggles she doesn't like about him. Isn't that the same in all relationships though, when you move in with someone you find out things about them you may not like. He probably has found one of two things he doesn't like about her. Good relationships rely on compromise.

Elegran

To me, it means wanting both sides of a choice - the literal meaning is eating your cake now, but also having it waiting in the cake-tin for eating in the future.

It means having a spouse and a family for everyday security, but also a lover for exciting passsionate secret meetings.

It means taking your pension as a lump sum and spending it all in one go on a long luxury round-the-world cruise, while at the same time it stays solidly invested to give you a generous income for the rest of your life.

There is another saying, too, that means almost the same thing - "He wants his bread buttered on both sides!"

To me Elegran both your cake reference and pension reference are what having your cake and eating it mean.
Your spouse and lover reference is not, but it is having your bread buttered on both sides. The two sayings mean different things