Toddler Only Wants To Wee In Garden

mumofmadboys

Try rewarding each wee in the loo with a chocolate button or a smartie.

We do that here with chocolate buttons!
"One for a wee, two for a poo."
Works a treat ?

Try rewarding each wee in the loo with a chocolate button or a smartie.

I’ve been known to throw a chocolate chip into the toilet. My little grandson thinks it’s the best thing ever to aim for it. Never fails to get him to go!

GoldenAge

I wonder if anyone has this problem with their granddaughters? No, of course not. It's pure indulgence of little boys to allow them to pull out their penises wherever they want - think I'm being a bit strait-laced or overly feminist? Not at all, just making that blindingly obvious point that little boys should be taught very early on that their penises don't rule the world.

I don't think it IS indulgence GoldenAge. My DD was very easily trained. Dry at 1 and through the night at 2, with not a lot of effort on my part.

DGS took a YEAR to train to the point he's at now. I really felt for my daughter.

I agree about training boys in what is and isn't acceptable though. It's a LONG process and one that I've never had any need to be involved in before, in a family that has previously only produced girls. It is a LOT harder with a loud, boisterous, ball of energy boy (and I'd thought my DD was hard work, she had NOTHING on DGS).

MissAdventure

Naninka
I owe you an apology for last night.
I was concerned the thread may be by someone with bad intentions, but I can see you're genuine.
So again, sorry.

Thank you, lovely.
Some helpful comments here and will pass them all on.
Thank you so much everyone. x

Urine is good for compost heaps.

This seems to have worked in reverse for one of our sons. Aged about two and a bit, he was playing outdoors with nothing on as it was very warm. He came rushing in when he realised he needed to wee and had no nappy on. Potty trained in one day!

Is this learned behaviour? Has he seen someone do this? I know that sometimes, especially when in the car and the is a 'wee emergency' we have stopped and let ours, when they were little, wee on the grass verge but it didn't stop them know that the place to do it was the loo.

The child is three, able to control his bladder and his bowels, therefore there is no need for him to use the garden as his personal lavatory.. I too wonder what happens when he wakes in the night, gets up early in the morning.
And the usual, wait until he gets to school, nursery; they will deal with it. Why should they?
In 1971, with a new Reception class in a new school, I had one child who had hysterics using the very old-fashioned indoor lavatory, (only one, the rest were across the playground); he was terrified of the overhead cistern flushing and at home used a bucket. That was forgivable and soon overcome.

I ve done that myself veganrock ? nothing wrong with the odd occasion but not the norm

It’s one thing having a wee behind a tree on a country walk it’s another going out in the garden for a poo. Sometimes you just have to say no.

MissA I agree if the choice shouldn’t be given
I don’t understand how he decided he was only going to pee in the garden in the first place. If it happened I would have laughed said ‘whoops’ and whipped him up and popped him in the toilet or on his potty
He would have known it wasn’t a choice, now he believes he is fine to go in the garden and for a poo as well !!
Because everyone seems to have gone along with it, he believes it’s perfectly ok and it’s now it’s become a problem as they can’t go visiting any attractions or I presume friends or relatives houses ?
I think a star chart or the table tennis ball and no more peeing in the garden allowed because he’s a big boy

NemosMum

Toilets can be frightening for little ones - the fear of falling in and being flushed away etc! Get a suitable toilet seat and step to increase confidence. DON'T make a fuss! If you do, you will be storing up trouble for the future. Some children become toilet refusers as a means of maintaining control. This has to be handled kindly and consistently. Worth reading Chris Green in the latest edition of Toddler Taming.

Agreed, my DGD has fallen into the loo and now is really quite scared of doing it again, but does go with a toddler seat and she also has a portable folding one that she takes to Pre-school, despite them having toddler sized loos anyway!

Let him see the others using the toilet and putting a target in there is a great idea!

Good luck!!

I would not be concerned about this. He will grow out of it when he sees what the bigger boys are doing.

I always used to encourage my GSs to pee outside when they were at that precarious stage between nappies and being trained. Saved a lot of mopping up.

They still like a "country wee" when we are out and about in the countryside.

If you go to Italy, little boys peeing in drain covers are a common sight.

I wouldn't encourage going outside.
It's non negotiable, unless it's an emergency.

I wonder who or how it started that it was ok to pee in the garden, if a child’s been potty trained they are usually so proud of getting it in the right place ( boys too) I never had this problem with children or grandchildren as they knew the potty was the right place and then they knew the toilet followed and they wanted to be big and grown up and do it right. They never had the choice of a garden
I think star charts worked with most things for me with a small reward at the end of the week
If he was having accidents I d say don’t worry too much but because it’s his choice, that choice has to be gently changed.
The thing is if he thinks it’s approved of at home he will expect to do that way everywhere you go

What about putting something harmless (to the sewage system) in the loo and getting him to chase it with his pee?!

Haven’t got any personal experience to speak from (my son followed my daughter’s every move so progressed to potty and then to toilet quite smoothly, although DH did demonstrate the standing technique!)

I love the ping pong ball idea!!

What happens if DGS needs a wee during the night or very early morning? Does he ask to go outside then?

3 is still very young, & if none of the advice above works I’m sure that your DGS will change his mind about using outdoors the first time we have a sustained cold snap, let’s hope for a frosty October for you!

He holds a number 2 for his own garden but does likes to see it flushed down the loo by his mummy or daddy.
That's interesting, because some toddlers are reluctant to do a poo as they think they may be losing part of themselves!

Children love praise so when they did what they had to do I used to make a big fuss, shout wahey and clap, good boy!
Oh, yes, show great enthusiasm and praise!

Same as when adult males remember to put the toilet seat down

Naninka
I owe you an apology for last night.
I was concerned the thread may be by someone with bad intentions, but I can see you're genuine.
So again, sorry.

You can buy musical potty's that might encourage your grandson to use. Thomas the Tank, animal potty chairs. a huge variety. Go onto Amazon and type musical potty.
Perhaps not ideal but way back when I was potty training my 3 I used to sit them on the potty in front of the tv. My eldest was fixated by the adverts.
Children love praise so when they did what they had to do I used to make a big fuss, shout wahey and clap, good boy!
It worked every time.

I mean, I particularly agree with that. I agree with the rest too. x

grandtanteJE65

For goodness sake: Stop making a fuss about this.

We have been told the child is a toddler, so presumably he is still not two.

Let him wee where he wants to for the rest of the summer and don't comment on it.

When the weather gets colder it will be a good time to re-introduce the topic of weeing in the toilet or in a potty.

Above all the child's mother must not show that she is worried about this, as the child will pick up on his mother's anxiety and things will get worse, as he cannot at his age understand what is worrying her.

Yes, we were potty trained at eighteen months or two years and so were our children, but the trend today is towards late potty training - too late in my opinion, but I have learned to hold my tongue.

I don't know if Freud was right about severe potty training leading to mental disorders, but I do know that the more fuss you make about bed-wetting, weeing outdoors or not eating properly with a two year old the worse it will become.

I agree with picking up on anxiety. xx

Thank you for all your comments which I have read carefully and will share with my DiL. He's 3 and no, doesn't have pets. He doesn't go to nursery yet and hasn't mixed a lot with other kids (Lockdown). We adore him and want him to conform with love, understanding and patience. He is bilingual and, subsequently, learning more than many other kids... I don't know if this is relevant.
Thank you for the book suggestion and Grandtante... thank you for understanding. I know some people are repulsed and I'm terribly sorry - it's obviously one of the reasons why we want him to conform.
But, some helpful suggestions too. Thank you so much. xx

Make sure he knows he is expected to use the toilet, as said before let him see mum or dad use it. Keep potty outside and if he shows he is about to pee in garden a firm but calm no and take him to the potty or toilet. Reward him if he uses the right place.