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Not giving baby a blanket or quilt to sleep under

(107 Posts)
Thomas67 Tue 17-Aug-21 13:40:48

My only grandchild is put to bed every night without any bedcovers. She sleeps in jogging type pyjamas. No blanket no quilt. She often wakes and is slow to settle down. This is all my daughter in laws idea, My son does loads of child care but never disagrees with his wife’s way of doing things. Grandchild is 20 months and this started at birth.
I have made no comment because my daughter in law gets the hump and stops communicating if she does not like something anyone says not just me. Even her own mother and sisters get the silent treatment. What do you all think?

Hithere Tue 17-Aug-21 16:57:39

Welcome to the new recommendations for sleeping - your dil is following the most updated guidelines.

Your dil may not want anybody's (unsolicited) advice and she shuts it down.

MiniMoon Tue 17-Aug-21 16:44:40

All my grandchildren slept in GroBags. DD added an extra cardigan or sweater if she thought their little arms would be cold. They went into regular sheets and duvets when they got theirs first big girl/boy bed.

Granmarderby10 Tue 17-Aug-21 16:42:14

Thomas67 I think you need to take into account that many (but not all) homes are very well heated plus so many are driven around now too so they don’t get as cold.It may seem unthinkable, because -for example the horrid little housing association house I lived in when my first child was born was cold and damp with one fire in the main living room. I find myself flinging off clothing now in my cosy flat and often think back with a ? shiver and wish we had started off in somewhere warmer, and just nicer but our situation wasn’t unusual and the kids don’t remember, we survived. Being healthy and young. However I still have this ancient desire to wrap newborns up in blankets it just seems natural if unnecessary. The clothing and fabrics are so much improved as well.

wildswan16 Tue 17-Aug-21 16:39:22

As long as the child is warm enough then covers shouldn't be necessary. They are more likely to wake up because they have thrown them off and got too cold if they are what is being used to keep the baby warm.

Not your child, not your choice. Say nothing.

welbeck Tue 17-Aug-21 16:30:51

i think it is partly to avoid the risks of babies tunnelling down, under the blanket, with their heads covered, and not getting enough air.
but OP you could have looked this up with 2 clicks; so the problem seems to be your attitude rather than DIL's practice.

NotSpaghetti Tue 17-Aug-21 16:12:54

BTW, lots of growbags do have sort-of legs.
Not all are just "bags" with shoulder fastenings.

25Avalon Tue 17-Aug-21 15:38:10

You could have asked dil at the start not to criticise but to take an interest. She would probably have been happy to explain, after all she didn’t think it up all by herself and it must be modern practice. We did things differently from our mums so it’s common practice.

DillytheGardener Tue 17-Aug-21 15:01:57

That sounded rather fierce, my apologies, was conversational in my head, and looked rather sanctimonious in text, apologies pinkquartz

DillytheGardener Tue 17-Aug-21 15:00:16

pinkquartz you could say the same about medical care too. However, IMO research and new practices to lower the risk of SIDS and the agonising heartache of lost young lives, is much preferable. I’m glad my dil and son use the latest best practice.

MrsEggy Tue 17-Aug-21 14:59:45

My babies slept in something like a growbag - a sort of dressing gown/sleeping bag in the 1960s - what goes around, comes around!

JaneJudge Tue 17-Aug-21 14:56:18

we were advised to use those baby sleeping bags too, they aren't particularly new smile

TrendyNannie6 Tue 17-Aug-21 14:54:18

All my children when babies slept in grobags, I think a cot with blankets etc is somewhat outdated now, things change! When you say this is all my DIL idea, it made me smile, I had a ex Mil having lots of opinions regarding everything about how we brought our baby up, I’m so glad your son supports his wife and he never disagrees with his wife, maybe that’s because he’s happy, would you want him too? You DIL gets the hump because she wants to do things her way obviously , her child her rules!

Luckygirl Tue 17-Aug-21 14:39:55

Thomas67 This is entirely normal - most babies sleep like that now. So ... no reason to grumble about your DIL, whom you clearly dislike!* It is all my DIL's idea* - well done that DIL - good idea!

Your DIL "gets the hump" because she senses your dislike. Leave them be to bring up their child as they choose.

pinkquartz Tue 17-Aug-21 14:38:47

Its a miracle the human race has flourished and grown when every generation has to re-invent "best ways".

My D had one blanket and sheet and warm clothing for the winter

Aldom Tue 17-Aug-21 14:35:26

My daughter is 53. She slept in the Dutch version of the Gro Bag as she was born in Holland. So it's not an entirely new thing. Her 16 year old slept in both summer and winter weight Gro Bags.

jaylucy Tue 17-Aug-21 14:31:00

I think this came about because one of the theories behind what causes cot death is the fact that babies can easily overheat so to avoid this, the use of Grobags rather than blankets has become popular.
Each generation has different ways of doing things - for instance - when was the last time that you saw a baby left out in the pram for a nap to "get some fresh air" even in the middle of winter?
I'd make a gift of a new Grobag for your GC. Your DiL needs support, not criticism!

DillytheGardener Tue 17-Aug-21 14:30:41

Also different babies have different sleeping routines, my son’s sleep patterns were wildly different to each at each developmental phase. It probably has little to do with what baby is sleeping in/beneath.

DillytheGardener Tue 17-Aug-21 14:28:37

Another one for the ‘GroBags’ my gc sleeps in one too. A look on the lullaby trust (a charity to prevent sids) your dil is doing everything by the book based on the latest guidance.

Santana Tue 17-Aug-21 14:23:44

My GC slept in grow bags. Like a sleeping bag with a dungaree type top. Different tog ratings.

J52 Tue 17-Aug-21 14:22:48

Thank you for the name reminder! Rather funny isn’t it? As long as they don’t turn red like tomatoes!

Katek Tue 17-Aug-21 14:17:54

My grandchildren have all slept in Grobags - you can get sleeved versions for the winter and they come in several different TOG ratings. Think of it as a miniature sleeping bag, they’re very toasty.

gillgran Tue 17-Aug-21 14:17:17

Yes, J32 & Ro60, "Grobags", that's the name I was trying to remember.!!
I think all 5 of our DGC had those, in varying sizes, from birth to around 2 years old.
Until then I hadn't seen or heard of them, (our eldest is now 18y, & the youngest is 4y, so I had forgotten them again.!!)

Ilovecheese Tue 17-Aug-21 14:05:00

Current advice is , as Summerlove says, that there should be no bedding in cots. Your son and daughter in law are doing the best for their child.

Ro60 Tue 17-Aug-21 14:01:51

Oddly called 'Grobags' J32 makes me laugh every time.

MissAdventure Tue 17-Aug-21 14:01:50

I think the idea of a cot being made up with sheets and blankets is outdated now.
It makes more sense to keep the baby covered and warm in their clothing, I suppose.
I'm not up to speed with what is recommended with regard to preventing cot death, but it may well have something to do with the guidance given?