How do you cope?

Thank you all. Thank you GSM. It's remarkable. The doctor told his son his dad is one tough cookie. I spoke to him tonight and he is just as he was before. He was laughing and joking. He has some problems with his right side but will receive ongoing physio. He's been through more in his life than most people can imagine and is so positive. I appreciate all the good wishes.

Wonderful news Kate. I’m so pleased. I hope he makes a good recovery. Thanks so much for coming back, I’ve been wondering how things were going. I can uncross everything now!

Don't dwell on negative bad things

Listen to happy music

Watch a Comedy

So happy for you and your family, hope your brother makes a good recovery x

That is good news Kate.

Hello everyone. I just wanted to thank all of you who posted regarding my brother. Also the lovely person who pm'd me. (You know who you are). I've just heard that he is now home. Considering that he had a severe stroke and a heart attack an hour later, this is nothing short of miraculous. Thanks to all of you and to the wonderful NHS.

My dear brother used to say he worried himself sick about his stepdaughter but in the meantime she got sorted but he was still in a mess worrying.
I have remembered this many times with my own daughter and her antics.

You just do. Some days you feel angry, some days you think how unfair it is, some days you feel alone because who else gets what you are going through? But you just get up and put one foot in front of the other. And take naps. It helps. Really, I just say, do what you need to do. It's what I do every day too.

Your nephew is so lucky to have you. While you can't change the situation he really is lucky to have you, not everybody has a good family

For you Kate ?????

As you overcome each obstacle, you become stronger, and more confident.
Value and treasure the support from family and friends.
Don't be afraid to say what is getting you down.

Others will come forward to hold your hand and give you a hug.

How horrendous, you must feel almost impotent and not know what to do when.
I’m sure you’ll cope with the practicalities, and be there emotionally, but please give yourself some time and hopefully you have separate support. I wish you well going forward.

Thank you everyone. You're all so lovely. Saying I have shown things like compassion and empathy brought a tear to my eye. I feel as though I am constantly on here with a tale of woe. I'm truly sorry for some of the things you are going through/have gone through.

My family had to get used to their new normal

I had to stop comparing and thinking what it would have been if the event hadn't happened

I learned to appreciate what we have and never take anything for granted again.

for you Kate …….believe me, you will cope.

Kate, you’ve shown such strength, kindness, compassion and empathy over the time I’ve ‘known’ you on gransnet
In answer to your question. I suspect most of us do as you do, real with shock, breathe, dist ourselves off and get on with it as best we can

We all cope in different ways.
When we lost our son, I was angry toward anyone who was less than helpful., but eventually calmed ,down.
WE rewarded ourselves with treats, days out while we mourned (Probably to take our mind off things)
After more than 20 years our mourning has never stopped, just softened a little, and made us more tolerant of, and helpful towards, others and their problems.
Somewhere, there is always a mountain that we have to find ma way to climb. Often the steps are tiny, but at last you reach the top and view the vista beyond.
No matter how long the tunnel seems to be, there is light at the end of it.
You just have to keep walking until you can catch a glimpse of the light, to watch it grow bigger and brighter as you progress, even if your footsteps seem to be heavy at the time.
Take heart! You mwillovercome, even if it takes time.

Best Wishes.

Thank you Bella You are always very kind. Thanks everyone who has replied.

Kate I have “known” you for a long time. You are positive and strong and that will help you to cope. Let’s hope the dad will make a good recovery. Thinking of you ?

I had the the worst first husband imaginable I got through it but I don't know how.
I have had difficult times since thankfully not with my children but my own siblings.
I can only say to you that I am sure you have been supportive in the past. Keep on being who you are and support your nephew as much as you are able.

Kate1949, I cope by being extra kind to myself, cutting myself some slack when possible - and allowing plenty of time to adjust to changing situations. I've lowered my expectations too.

Making 'sense of it all' is just a human tendency. Our brains try to work out the 'why' when often it's just not there to be found.

Thank you

Kate
I too have followed your posts for many years and you have been strong and positive throughout.
You will cope this time because short of cutting yourself off from your family and letting them get on with it, you have no choice.
They will rely on your help and support and you will give it.
Best wishes to you all for the next few weeks and hopefully a better time ahead.

Gosh that meant to say it's ok not to be ok sometimes and also meant to say sometimes all we can do is pray about it .( Can't be find my glasses )

Sometimes you have to think : this out of my control so what do I'll do is to pray about it.
Also remember it's ok it to be ok sometimes, so long as you don't stay in there.