Running The gift shop gauntlet!!

My now very placid DGD used to have amazing ones, she turned into a redfaced starfish on her back, arms and legs flailing everywhere.
They were a joy to behold.

My girl always used to be bought back by people; holding their hand, and sobbing her heart out, while they coldly informed me that my child had been "lost".

Oh yes, I'm good at tantrums.
Apparently I had a great one in a cake shop years ago.
I was 40

(Sorry, I was 4 and my mother left me there.)

Do you have a tantrum if you don't get one?

The DGC aren't that interested in fridge magnets - it's me!

They are a memento of visits to lovely places.

Nor me !

Not all outings involve a gift shop, and I’m the first to admit, some of them are pretty bad, and even the children struggle to convince themselves they can’t live without another rubber snake, or a fridge magnet.
But a lot are really good shops, and sell things related to their outing, and it’s nice to have a memory of the day.
I still can’t see a problem with that

For me, it was more about not instilling the expectation that every trip out had to involve buying a present.
It's about being grateful for what you've had, rather than expecting more.
It's an excellent life skill to learn.

Bibbity
That is true, sometimes, not always.
But it’s not every day is it?
I agree it’s mostly rubbish, but in most gift shops you’ve only talking a few pounds, and it seems mean in my opinion to march them past without a glance.
We have bought them some really nice things in some places, it’s not all plastic rubbish.

Bibbity

Sara1954

I can’t actually see the problem with buying children a small thing in the gift shop, almost every one must do so, otherwise they wouldn’t be there.
Where’s the harm?

Because then you end up with a house full of useless crap that they play with on the car journey home and never touch again.

If they have to buy it with their "own" money they might think twice next time about buying rubbish.

They spend £5 on something daft. You have coffee and a tea cake for a similar amount and you don’t get to play with that again…..

Sara1954

I can’t actually see the problem with buying children a small thing in the gift shop, almost every one must do so, otherwise they wouldn’t be there.
Where’s the harm?

Because then you end up with a house full of useless crap that they play with on the car journey home and never touch again.

Thanks Witzend !
I don’t live near them so they do tend to get treats when I visit or they stay with me, I quite like now setting a budget and seeing them work out if they’d say like one thing for £8 or 2 for £4.
It’s educational don’t you know! And about my level for maths

I understand this is 5 pages in and this may be obsolete now.

But with my children I found that with things like this it was better to gave a discussion before hand.

So I would explain we are going to the zoo. We are going by car and will be able to do XYZ while there. And that we will be walking through the shop but we absolutely will not be buying anything at all.

I would then ask if they understood and ask them to repeat back what I said to make sure they got it.

On the day I would say we are leaving in 10 mins. Do you remember what I said? We Will be walking through the shops and not buying anything and I don't want you to ask at all.

It's not 100% but I did find this helped.

I can’t actually see the problem with buying children a small thing in the gift shop, almost every one must do so, otherwise they wouldn’t be there.
Where’s the harm?

Positive, not negative, parenting and grandparenting can result in far less confrontation.
Funny, that is exactly what we are having drummed into us at puppy training class every week!!

I was just about to be smug about no meaning no.
Then I remembered a trip to the zoo, when my daughter refused to come out of a ball pond thing, and I had to go in and get her.

Lucca

A thought just struck me, rather evil,
I quite enjoy indulging theGC at times in the knowledge that my ex, their grandfather, would never have allowed it, being as he was, closely related to Scrooge,

I don’t see what’s evil about that! More,like ?.

I dare say it’s different if you live around the corner and see Gdcs all the time, but it’s less often for us, and still less often that we’ll be in a gift shop. And if you can’t indulge Gdcs once in a while, I don’t know what the world is coming to.

Callistemon

^Discipline does start early. No means no.^

No should mean no under certain circumstances. As I used to say "Exactly what part of NO don't you understand?"

However, learning to handle their own money should start early too. Having pocket money to spend and knowing their purchases will be limited as a result is a very valuable tool.

Positive, not negative, parenting and grandparenting can result in far less confrontation.

Absolutely.

Callistemon
Or a mug/notebook/pen with their name on, only of course if it’s a fairly common name.

Sara1954

Callistemon
Or rubbers!

Or fridge magnets!

Calendar, anyone?

Discipline does start early. No means no.

No should mean no under certain circumstances. As I used to say "Exactly what part of NO don't you understand?"

However, learning to handle their own money should start early too. Having pocket money to spend and knowing their purchases will be limited as a result is a very valuable tool.

Positive, not negative, parenting and grandparenting can result in far less confrontation.

Callistemon
Or rubbers!

Discipline does start early. No means no.
We have a Red missionary charity box at home and the children like to put money in that for the children who can’t afford toys. It works here.
Good luck with discipline, but it starts with the adults being focused and saying ‘no’

You can never have too many pencils