Constant worry

Suki70 That is exactly the phrase I use!

I agree with VANECAM now that I’m retired I worry more, dying is always on my mind although I’m not really old at 63 and I look at my 3 year old grandson and feel sad that I probably won’t see him grow up, I didn’t have the time to think about these things as much when I was working.

MOnica this is exactly what I try to do. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

I am another that does not worry much. This doesn't mean that i do not think about every worse scenario that can happen. But I always do it from the planning aspect. What would I do if X really did happen, how would I cope?' and having worked that out, I tuck that away, knowing that, if X happens, I will know what to do.

For the last 20 years I have checked DH every morning to see if he was still alive. I knew he was a heart attack waiting to happen. Well it happened on evening about a year ago. Once I realised he was having a heart attack, I worked on auto pilot: Ring for an ambulance, get DH downstairs as we have very narrow staircases and it is impossible to get one of those ambulance chairs up or down, open the front door for the paramedics. go and pack a bag for DH. Once I has seen him off, ring children and email others who should be told.

I had thought it through so often I didn't need to think. I knew exactly what to do. He was very ill and had bypass surgery and is now home, but I had/still have plans for what to do if he died suddenly. Once I know I have thought through the worse, I just get on with life.

Would it be possible to turn worries into plans? work out what to do, if the barely thinkable happens, even if it is that you can do nothing, and then having worked that out, pack it into the back of your mind?

Thanks for all your kind comments. I too have retu6yo the gym and do body pump , yoga etc. I think its when my mind has time to think , eg at night. It is the what ifs as many others have said. Glad that I'm not alone.

Y9u need help from your GP to overcome this anxiety which is dominating your life. You do not have to live like this - why not see the doc and get the help you need so that you can enjoy life?

I am by nature a worrier. But strangely, my worrying reduced when I had cancer, and has stayed that way ever since.

I suffer terribly with anxiety and realise now I probably have all my life. Health worries mainly but just about everything starts the spiral of ‘what ifs’. I have had several counselling sessions but they didn’t help long term. I really want to be a positive glass half full type of person but seem stuck with being the complete opposite. I completely understand those of you who dread the phone ringing I am just the same but on the other hand if it doesn’t ring when I think it should I assume that something terrible has happened. I waste so much of my life worrying but I am almost frightened to let go of the worry as it seems like tempting fate (if that makes sense).

I miss going to the gym so much. It really released endorphins and I’d feel so much better.

Same here. I’ve had some awful phone calls over the years and every time my phone rings I get a feeling of dread. I’m currently awaiting a test result for my dog and I asked my vet to email the result as I know how I’ll feel when the phone rings!

Yes, I’m the same with the phone. I get that awful feeling of dread when it rings. I’ve tried to find a cheerful ringtone to stop it happening but that doesn’t work No matter how many times I give myself a ‘good talking to’ my body physically changes when someone rings at an unexpected time (that awful tense, sinking feeling) it does make me feel like such a wimp at times. I agree that exercise helps. Have just started swimming after a break from it and I do feel better.

I relate to these posts. It's only as I have become older that I worry about AC and GC. Never used to be this way! VANEVAM, I too feel anxious when the phone rings, glad it's not just me. I worry about how I would manage without my husband and dwell on how my life would change if I lost him . The pandemic has definitely brought these anxieties on , wouldn't have believed it at the beginning, but it is true. I just want to feel the way I did, I have to talk myself into doing the things I always took pleasure from . Feel to have lost myself in a well of worry. I put a brave face on when with family but underneath I feel to have lost confidence and am reluctant to get on with things. Don't feel depressed but lack motivation! Looking forward to regaining my old self. I am back in my aqua exercise class and have joined a spin class . The water makes me feel so much better and peddling a static bike lifts my mood. The sun will shine again , I feel sure of that.
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Others have posted that anxiety increases with age and I agree with that but I also wonder if when I was younger and not retired as I am now, whether my mind was kept busy and sufficiently concentrated as to prevent any lapses of my mind wandering into the dreaded “what if “ scenarios.

Therefore maybe it’s not age related at all but instead, the illness that is anxiety taking advantage of the empty space in my brain.

I dread answering the phone thinking that it will be bad news that I will not be able to cope with. The anxiety begins as soon as the phone rings. Bloody awful.

Oh yes I relate to this. The constant worry does grind you down. Today during a swim there was a message on the tannoy which I couldn’t hear properly. While swimming I was thinking about how it might be a message for me - something urgent and someone trying to get in touch with me. I kept thinking of all the awful things it could be. I know how unreasonable that it but I can’t seem to help it. My daughter is pregnant and if I don’t hear from her for a day I imagine that something terrible has happened and dread to look at my phone. These are everyday occurrences - and it’s hard to explain to anyone. It does make me feel better that I’m not alone ….

Nana56 you are definitely describing anxiety, not worry. Severe Anxiety is imagining possible scenarios with feeling the emotions tied to those possible scenarios.

For instance, if a family member is late home my mind can go through something awful happened to they are in hospital to I am at their funeral with all the emotions attached.

Please seek help, you can learn techniques for managing this. Sometimes I have to tell myself a hard No out loud and force my mind away.

honeyrose I hope you get news about your health problem soon, waiting is awful.

My mother was an inveterate worrier and I grew up knowing it was not a good idea to 'worry mummy'. I am not, and never have been, a worrier. Not that I could be called an optimist. I suppose that my attitude is fatalist. What will be will be, and worry isn't going to make any difference. I do get frustrated if there's an issue, the outcome of which I can't influence. That is likely to affect my dreams which reflect frustration, losing my way, being blocked in efforts to achieve something.

My DH has AF too Nana56. Before he went on Beta Blockers he would have sudden attacks when his heart rate went up to over 200 and wouldn’t go back down so I would have to take him to A and E. When the attacks grew more regular he went on to Beta Blockers and he hasn’t had an attack since. He also suffers from occasional choking attacks which scare me to death, he has seen a consultant but there seems to be no obvious explanation for them and he is usually able to manage them. Apart from these two problems he is fit and active but if I go out and leave him on his own I worry about him having a choking attack and not being able to manage it. I also worried about our two youngest grandchildren when they started secondary school but thankfully they have both settled in well.

My DH is very easy going and only worries about things when they happen, our older son is a worrier like me and our younger son is easy going like his Dad.

Thank you all for your kind words. Your kind comments make me feel less alone.Honeyrose I hope all goes well for you.

I am the same as you. The kind hearted people who replied to you are giving not only you but myself great advice. I know what does help is talking to friends and family.
I wish you well and hope you feel less worried.

I hope that you'll find out regarding your health, that all's well honeyrose

I always took life for granted, was happy go lucky and could never understand people who allowed their worries to get the better of them.

Now I do.

Once anxiety and panic attacks become the norm, life can be unbearable.

I now avoid certain upsetting tv programmes and documentaries, fictional or otherwise. The tv and radio news broadcasts are switched off since much of the content can be predicted to be utterly depressing and will aggravate my condition.

We probably all worry in varying degrees and all cope differently.
If you are feeling that your anxiety is running out of control please seek some professional advice.
I agree with germanshepherdsmum, on both counts, good advice and no you’re not selfish.

Hello Nana56. I’m exactly the same as you and I feel as if I’m getting worse as I get older and there’s more, physically, to go wrong. I worry about DH’s health too, my DD and her family’s health. I definitely overthink things. I did have talking therapy for my Health Anxiety 3 years ago and it certainly helped at the time, although perhaps I need to repeat it. I don’t just worry about health, but that’s my main worry. I’m in the midst of a health scare at the moment and won’t know the outcome for a few weeks. The worry is sending me mad and making me miserable. Sending you very best wishes - I emphasise with you!

I am a worrier I have a lot of arthritis and it’s bad enough now at 65 I worry about it getting even worse. I won’t drive on the motorway as I don’t like speeding traffic I rely on my dh to drive to our daughters house. If anything prevented him from driving I would hardly see my daughter. I worry about my son who travels all over the country for his work. I know confidence can go a bit with age for some people but I never expected it to happen to me.