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Constant worry

(37 Posts)
Nana56 Thu 21-Oct-21 14:56:26

Hi. I just wondered if any other members worry constantly about things that may never happen. I'm finding it exhausting.
Also there are some many people with real problems I realise I'm being really selfish.
My poor DH is fantastic and knows I go from one issue to the next.
Currently I'm obsessing about his gealth as he's just berm diagnosed with AF. He's getting treatment so should be fine. At night I imagine hon getting strokes etc and how I'd manage on my own etc ( Very selfish). I don't tell him this.
Also there's a chance my DD may move away with DGD. No one knows yet but I'm imagining the worst.
I haven't told her, although DH knows. As I say it's crazy and I feel I'm going mad.
Thanks for taking the time to read.

Kate1949 Thu 21-Oct-21 15:04:23

Oh yes. This is me too. Waiting for the next awful thing to happen. Mrs What If my husband calls me. It's exhausting. I hope you can get some help to make you feel better.

Hithere Thu 21-Oct-21 15:08:41

Anxiety is a horrible burden - the price you pay as a sufferer is high

Do not hesitate to contact your doctor to address it.

Audi10 Thu 21-Oct-21 15:08:54

No, I’m not a worrier despite my ill health. I am quite positive person and just get on with things as best I can, worrying is not going to make things any better, I don’t think you are being selfish at all, some people are born worriers, trouble with worrying is it doesn’t do your mental health any good, Do you like reading? There are self help books available to help you calm the mind, I think you sound a lovely caring person as you are saying there are people with real problems, but your worrying is causing you problems so if it was me I’d try and get some relaxation tapes to listen to, if it got too much I’d be paying a visit to the dr, would your daughter be moving a very long way away nana56, too far to visit regularly?

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 21-Oct-21 15:09:30

We all worry, Nana, especially about our families, but it sounds as if this is taking over your life and spoiling it. Maybe this is anxiety which your GP could help you with. If I were you I would make an appointment to talk things over with him/her and see what they suggest, maybe some mild medication. 💐

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 21-Oct-21 15:10:39

PS No you are not being selfish!

MayBee70 Thu 21-Oct-21 15:13:11

They do say only worry about things that you have control over. Having said that, I’m a worst case scenario person. I’d love to be an optimist but it’s too late for me to change now.

Smileless2012 Thu 21-Oct-21 15:13:41

That used to be me Nana, but when something terrible did happen, that I never in a million years would ever have thought possible, I stopped worrying about things that may never happen, because whether they do or not there's nothing I can do to stop them.

All you, me and any of us can do is deal with whatever happens in the best way we can.

It might do you good to talk to a professional to help you manage your increased levels of anxiety. You're not selfish and you're not going mad, you just need help to manage your concernsflowers.

LondonMzFitz Thu 21-Oct-21 15:15:40

I call it overthinking. It's a self defence mechanism to imagine the worst thing that could happen and how I'd cope with it. But you, OP, are recognising that it's not healthy.

When my marriage broke down it hit me like a tonne of bricks, absolutely knocked sideways - I found writing down my thoughts helped, once I put them to paper I didn't have to keep dwelling on them. Putting them down also clarified the muddle of thoughts. It's something that works for me. However I'd suggest (and I'm sure more will be along in a moment to suggest the same) that your GP will be able to help, maybe a mild anti-depressant. Just something to take the edge off.

We are living through a Global pandemic and various crisis and I don't think it can be stressed enough that we all need to be gentle with ourselves.

Elless Thu 21-Oct-21 15:37:13

I'm the same and my DH is the opposite so he cannot understand it. It wears you down.

AGAA4 Thu 21-Oct-21 17:14:27

We are stronger than we think and if you tell yourself that whatever happens you will cope.
I used to worry about losing my DH. I did lose him and I have coped well I think.
I also worried I would get cancer. I did and I took it in my stride.
I know now that we do manage when the worst happens.

lemongrove Thu 21-Oct-21 18:00:01

Nana56 flowers I think it’s an age thing tbh.I, like many people have more than enough real problems to cope with, and when I have felt as you do I give myself a stern talking to.
The best thing is to know is that you will confront any problems as and when and if they happen, and not a moment before.

Redhead56 Thu 21-Oct-21 19:36:28

I am a worrier I have a lot of arthritis and it’s bad enough now at 65 I worry about it getting even worse. I won’t drive on the motorway as I don’t like speeding traffic I rely on my dh to drive to our daughters house. If anything prevented him from driving I would hardly see my daughter. I worry about my son who travels all over the country for his work. I know confidence can go a bit with age for some people but I never expected it to happen to me.

honeyrose Thu 21-Oct-21 19:39:26

Hello Nana56. I’m exactly the same as you and I feel as if I’m getting worse as I get older and there’s more, physically, to go wrong. I worry about DH’s health too, my DD and her family’s health. I definitely overthink things. I did have talking therapy for my Health Anxiety 3 years ago and it certainly helped at the time, although perhaps I need to repeat it. I don’t just worry about health, but that’s my main worry. I’m in the midst of a health scare at the moment and won’t know the outcome for a few weeks. The worry is sending me mad and making me miserable. Sending you very best wishes - I emphasise with you!

PollyTickle Thu 21-Oct-21 19:49:22

We probably all worry in varying degrees and all cope differently.
If you are feeling that your anxiety is running out of control please seek some professional advice.
I agree with germanshepherdsmum, on both counts, good advice and no you’re not selfish.

VANECAM Thu 21-Oct-21 20:34:23

I always took life for granted, was happy go lucky and could never understand people who allowed their worries to get the better of them.

Now I do.

Once anxiety and panic attacks become the norm, life can be unbearable.

I now avoid certain upsetting tv programmes and documentaries, fictional or otherwise. The tv and radio news broadcasts are switched off since much of the content can be predicted to be utterly depressing and will aggravate my condition.

Smileless2012 Thu 21-Oct-21 20:39:07

I hope that you'll find out regarding your health, that all's well honeyroseflowers

Greeneyez Thu 21-Oct-21 20:48:14

I am the same as you. The kind hearted people who replied to you are giving not only you but myself great advice. I know what does help is talking to friends and family.
I wish you well and hope you feel less worried.

Nana56 Thu 21-Oct-21 21:19:03

Thank you all for your kind words. Your kind comments make me feel less alone.Honeyrose I hope all goes well for you.

Jane43 Thu 21-Oct-21 21:36:51

My DH has AF too Nana56. Before he went on Beta Blockers he would have sudden attacks when his heart rate went up to over 200 and wouldn’t go back down so I would have to take him to A and E. When the attacks grew more regular he went on to Beta Blockers and he hasn’t had an attack since. He also suffers from occasional choking attacks which scare me to death, he has seen a consultant but there seems to be no obvious explanation for them and he is usually able to manage them. Apart from these two problems he is fit and active but if I go out and leave him on his own I worry about him having a choking attack and not being able to manage it. I also worried about our two youngest grandchildren when they started secondary school but thankfully they have both settled in well.

My DH is very easy going and only worries about things when they happen, our older son is a worrier like me and our younger son is easy going like his Dad.

annodomini Thu 21-Oct-21 21:39:40

My mother was an inveterate worrier and I grew up knowing it was not a good idea to 'worry mummy'. I am not, and never have been, a worrier. Not that I could be called an optimist. I suppose that my attitude is fatalist. What will be will be, and worry isn't going to make any difference. I do get frustrated if there's an issue, the outcome of which I can't influence. That is likely to affect my dreams which reflect frustration, losing my way, being blocked in efforts to achieve something.

Jane43 Thu 21-Oct-21 21:39:45

honeyrose I hope you get news about your health problem soon, waiting is awful.

VioletSky Thu 21-Oct-21 21:46:30

Nana56 you are definitely describing anxiety, not worry. Severe Anxiety is imagining possible scenarios with feeling the emotions tied to those possible scenarios.

For instance, if a family member is late home my mind can go through something awful happened to they are in hospital to I am at their funeral with all the emotions attached.

Please seek help, you can learn techniques for managing this. Sometimes I have to tell myself a hard No out loud and force my mind away.

LadyGaGa Thu 21-Oct-21 21:58:03

Oh yes I relate to this. The constant worry does grind you down. Today during a swim there was a message on the tannoy which I couldn’t hear properly. While swimming I was thinking about how it might be a message for me - something urgent and someone trying to get in touch with me. I kept thinking of all the awful things it could be. I know how unreasonable that it but I can’t seem to help it. My daughter is pregnant and if I don’t hear from her for a day I imagine that something terrible has happened and dread to look at my phone. These are everyday occurrences - and it’s hard to explain to anyone. It does make me feel better that I’m not alone ….

VANECAM Thu 21-Oct-21 23:33:14

Others have posted that anxiety increases with age and I agree with that but I also wonder if when I was younger and not retired as I am now, whether my mind was kept busy and sufficiently concentrated as to prevent any lapses of my mind wandering into the dreaded “what if “ scenarios.

Therefore maybe it’s not age related at all but instead, the illness that is anxiety taking advantage of the empty space in my brain.

I dread answering the phone thinking that it will be bad news that I will not be able to cope with. The anxiety begins as soon as the phone rings. Bloody awful.