Should you serve alcohol at an event when there is an alcoholic present?

If your abstaining guest is in the early stages of their pathway then I think that the least everyone can do is support them by not boozing! Face it- you don't HAVE to have alcoholic "fizz" nowadays anyway , the alternatives are fantastic and taste frankly in my opinion much better! I had an issue with booze for most of my life upto nearly 20 years ago now and I can tell you that even seeing an advert /TV program with drinking in it can tip you to have a slurp! It's just not worth it, be supportive and knock it on the head for their sake.

I am completely fed up with the fact that alcoholics attract such sympathy. When was the last time you saw a morbidly obese person ( a food addict) treated with sympathetic understanding? The encouragement seems to be towards believing that people are incapable of controlling what they drink but ought to be ashamed of not being able to control what they eat.
In this particular case, l think the alcoholic should not be dictating what everyone else can drink at an occasion.

I agree with new gran. If you feel alcohol is essential to your event, because it is your family tradition, then your guest will know that.

why not compromise and have just enough fizz for a small glass each for those family members who would expect to be offered fizz, to toast the person/achievement and then a large number of soft drinks and alcohol free alternatives for second drinks and for anyone who is not consuming alcohol. Some of your guests may be driving in any case, no it's not just about the alcoholic.

My friend is a recovering alcoholic. Sober now for 20 years They buy a round of drinks but give the money for someone else to go to the bar. They never go up to a bar. All part of the coping strategies learnt. As many posts have said, there will be no end of challenges involving alcohol. I think it would be very apparent to the person in recovery why this would be a non alcohol event. Which would make them stand out .

I can understand your dilemna, vegansrock, but echo the sentiments of many on here and say go ahead and serve alcohol. The person concerned will be aware that they will face difficult circumstances, I’m sure and will have love and support in this situation.
I hope that you all have a good time.

M0nica

One of my big problems recently is that since the sugar tax came in most brands of soft drink including all the usual alternatives to alcohol have replaced some of the sugar in their products with sweetener, usually aspartame. Unfortunately I can taste aspartame and find the taste unpleasant and it clings to my mouth for hours. As a result, I am left with only fizzy water as an alternative to alcohol.

However, recently a number of the gin makers like Gordons and Sipsmith have brought out non-alcoholic gins and we recently brought back from France a non-alcoholic Martini and I am asking for those, not many people or restaurants/pubs stock them, but the more people ask, the more likely they are to be stocked.

have you tried Fever Tree soft drinks? No artificial anything and not as high in calories as their full sugar competitors. There isn't an artificial sweetener that I can tolerate. At best they taste disgusting and at worst, they give me headaches and stomach upsets as well.

In your place, I would have some alcohol but make it clear that you will be serving some non-alcohol drinks for "designated drivers". This happened at a wedding we attended years ago - they had elderflower fizz for the toast instead of champagne and it was delicious. The servers were asked to have both wine and a "drivers option" available as they went around. I found it later that her dad is a recovering alcoholic - which had made it a priority for them. They did a fair bit of "taste testing" of non-alcoholic alternatives beforehand. (BTW recently I've been cutting down on my wine drinking and found a very nice non-alcohol alternative to sparkling wine called REAL Royal Flush - a fermented Kombucha. I'm sure others will have their recommendations too).

You've not said what the occasion is, so would it work just as well with no alcohol? From personal experience, I would have some fizz for a toast and beer on hand, along with soft drinks and a few low alcohol options.
Then everyone can have a glass or two, but find it easy to switch to non alcoholic drinks when they need to.
From a family of 'heavy drinkers'/alcoholics I've only recently discovered that I can enjoy social engagements without any alcohol and that they tend to remain convivial throughout! However, I need coffee at some point as I still don't like many non alcohol versions of wine/spirits, and need something to perk me up!

How about asking the person who the celebration is for?

My late brother was an alcoholic and everybody stopped drinking around him which I thought was a mistake. He had to learn to say that he didn't drink. To be quite honest, there were times when we were all alcohol free whilst he swigged from a bottle of soft drink, heavily laced with vodka.
I don't actually drink alcohol at all but I am on a diabetic diet all the time. I don't expect people around me to not have a pudding or eat heavily carb laden foods even though my body craves them in the way an alcoholic does. It is my responsibility to ensure that I take care of myself. I sometimes slip and so will most alcoholics. It is something they have to learn to pull back from.

Ask them what support they need, for examplee they may feel that having soft drinks in a separate area to the booze would reduce the strain. They may just want to avoid being bombarded with offers of a drink by people who aren't aware they have an issue. On the other hand they may give a decisive yes or no to alcahol being present. Ask them.

(I meant to say a highly addictive, psychoactive drug.)

Lilyflower, it all depends upon whether you think alcohol (a drug) is necessary for celebrations - I don't!

I'd still serve the booze but like others have said find more tempting alcohol free alternatives for everyone who isn't drinking, like a home made fruit punch or some other kinds of colourful tasty mocktails

Have plenty of non alcoholic choices for those who are avoiding or do not like the hard stuff but don’t deprive the main guest of their fizz and frolics for the sake of the others. Those who are temperate and reasonable should not be deprived because others aren’t. It’s the curse of our age to keep the class in because one kid misbehaved.

My daughter is by choice a non-drinker but prefers fizzy water to anything else. Well done to the relative who has the courage to face up.

Sainsbury's own brand non-alcoholic fizz is very drinkable, and 143% nicer than the non-fizzy pretend wine alternatives.

I would offer that (and as others have said, get a few bottles in for other non-drinkers) so that if your friend is self-conscious about not drinking they can join in the toast and not stand out.

I really dislike aspartame too.

And Coca Cola - poison only fit for descaling the loo!!

One of my big problems recently is that since the sugar tax came in most brands of soft drink including all the usual alternatives to alcohol have replaced some of the sugar in their products with sweetener, usually aspartame. Unfortunately I can taste aspartame and find the taste unpleasant and it clings to my mouth for hours. As a result, I am left with only fizzy water as an alternative to alcohol.

However, recently a number of the gin makers like Gordons and Sipsmith have brought out non-alcoholic gins and we recently brought back from France a non-alcoholic Martini and I am asking for those, not many people or restaurants/pubs stock them, but the more people ask, the more likely they are to be stocked.

I am perfectly capable, as designated driver, of being able to refuse alcohol, I am however often disappointed that the alternative offered is not an "adult" drink and thus often ask for a tonic water. I don't want lime and soda or coke or squash, I am an adult! When we have friends visiting, I probably take more care choosing the non alcohol drinks than I do the wine. At the very least I always have plenty of Fever Tree tonic in all its varieties ?

We don’t tend to drink alcohol anyway, so it wouldn’t be a problem. The main issue is the driving, so easier just not to have it.

I suppose I may just ask my friend how he /she would feel about it.

I personally don’t like the taste of anything except Baileys, and that just gives me a headache.

We have no alcoholics, but don't encourage drinking on principle. We have a responsibility to make sure that guests are safe, not tempted to drink and drive

You're treating your guests as if they have no willpower and do not have the maturity to make their own decisions or take responsibility for their own actions.

grannysyb

As my DH is not driving anymore due to eye problems, so I am the designated driver. I too find alot of alternatives to alcohol too sweet. I much prefer tonic water.

Or tonic water, Fevertree do different flavoured ones.
Very refreshing too.

I agree with the majority of posters.
Not everyone will want an alcoholic fizz anyway, if they are the designated driver.

My non-alcoholic fizzy drink of preference is elderflower pressé or elderflower cordial made with soda water.

Personallly I wouldn't choose a non-alcoholic wine or spirit to serve to someone who is overcoming alcohol addiction.

As my DH is not driving anymore due to eye problems, so I am the designated driver. I too find alot of alternatives to alcohol too sweet. I much prefer tonic water.