What would you think if you received this?

Here's another takeaway.
It's fine for grandparents to discuss how they feel amongst themselves, on a discussion site aimed at grandparents.

Regardless of whether new parents like it or not.

The takeaway: GPs be vigilant to follow new parents wishes.

Baby Rabies is not fatal, but the actions of some who have baby rabies - lead to the fatal end of relationships.

*think

Hithere

To my knowledge, baby rabies is not fatal yet.

You would this so though ??

I have no idea what your post means Hithere.

To my knowledge, baby rabies is not fatal yet.

What is a reasonable compromise? Neither wants things remotely similar, who loses? What's wrong with mum waiting for 2 weeks to see the baby?

Skydancer

*Rafichagran*I absolutely agree with you. It’s nonsense to communicate in this way. For goodness sake her Mum must be so excited so what’s wrong with stopping the car as they go by. Can’t they accept how happy she must be with a new grandchild. If this was my DD I’d be furious. And woe betide them when they asked me for help.

Two wrongs …. Make it even?
Is that the case here?

The mum is "deeply upset" and the OP, the mum's sister is "deeply" annoyed; neither are furious.

If DD wanted this and mum was "furious" then that would not bode well for either or the relationship.

These are dangerous games to play with AC who just want their needs respected whether need is to have mum there every step of the way or wait 2 weeks

Some posters don't like the rules and have said so. Some posters don't like the tone and have said so. Presumably if some haven't liked both, they'll have said so too.

This is certainly one way of sucking the joy out of something isn't it Skydancer.

RafichagranI absolutely agree with you. It’s nonsense to communicate in this way. For goodness sake her Mum must be so excited so what’s wrong with stopping the car as they go by. Can’t they accept how happy she must be with a new grandchild. If this was my DD I’d be furious. And woe betide them when they asked me for help.

I understand concerns about the tone but, read it again in a nicer one.

Unless not liking the "tone" actually means not liking the "rules" in which case, can't help

Oh we did when they couldn't do something they wanted because we'd arranged to do something with or for someone else GG.

Emotional guilt really!! well TBH I've never been weighed down by emotional guilt the numerous times our boys have said 'but I'm your son'.

Thinking about it, I really can’t recall a time that any of my children have ever said this to me.

As children, I had all the usual comments from them (of course!)

But never that.

Emotional guilt really!! well TBH I've never been weighed down by emotional guilt the numerous times our boys have said 'but I'm your son'.

No, the GM wouldn't be getting exactly what she wants would she. She wanted them to stop off on their way home from the hospital in the first instance and to visit asap.

"That hardly seems fair". One can just imagine the responses from some if it had been said that what appears to be happening to the OP's sister wasn't fair.

Your family sounds lovely Curlywhirly.

Hithere

Compromise -
Send a pic of the baby
Send a short video or a facetime

If parents feel up to it and the other person is appreciative of the effort the new parents make to accommodate the GM's wants

The parents have stated they’d probably FaceTime within the first two weeks, so this works for the parents, but not the grandparents.

This would be my preferred though, because the sanctity of the new families wishes is still respected.

They just have an upset grandparent to deal with (and the emotional guilt that comes with it But I’m your Mum - not the stress you need when bringing a new life into the world…

Lucca, my sentiments exactly. I am a grandparent who is very far from demanding - my children ring me far more than I ring them; I am very aware (and thrilled) that they have their own lives, just as me and their dad do. I am happy that they have flown the nest, but am also happy to support them if needed. The grandchildren pester their parents to come and see us, not the other way around. There are adult children who actually get on with their parents! And I thank God every day that I have a lovely little family.

Smileless2012

I would suggest letting the GM see the baby just once, after being home for a few days perhaps through a window and maybe apologising for the message, that with hindsight although no upset was intended, they can see that a conversation would have been better.

If the reason for not having the conversation was concern about the reaction they would get, that could be explained too.

The compromise there isn’t on behalf of the grandparents though is it? They’ve achieved exactly what they wanted, got a peek of the baby and an apology from the AC, when the new parents want space. That isn’t compromise on both sides. That’s compromise on one side, from the AC. That hardly seems fair, when the AC have been so very clear about what they hope to happen.

Lucca quite so. What a shame all these disparate posts. My grandmother always said that babies bring love with them (she had 8 children). When this baby comes let’s hope it is to love from all her family.

Compromise -
Send a pic of the baby
Send a short video or a facetime

If parents feel up to it and the other person is appreciative of the effort the new parents make to accommodate the GM's wants

I would suggest letting the GM see the baby just once, after being home for a few days perhaps through a window and maybe apologising for the message, that with hindsight although no upset was intended, they can see that a conversation would have been better.

If the reason for not having the conversation was concern about the reaction they would get, that could be explained too.

It's what they do Lucca you kind of get used to it, it's always been the same, the go to response being that AC are never wrong and parents and GP's always are.

Smileless2012

I don't agree that the only people who could compromise if compromises were to be made, would be the new parents, compromising works best when it works both ways.

I completely agree that compromise works both ways. In this instance, where the parents don’t want visitors for two weeks, but the grandmother does (and asks for them to stop at home from the hospital), what compromise would you suggest?